Ayatollah Hermione

I’m making burgers and topping them with halloumi, chilli jam and chorizo in an attempt to make up for the disappointment that I couldn’t go on the drink yesterday because wor lass was bad off Saturdays drinking. Understand that may have just have CT a stiffy but so be it

Why are they calling him “Dele” now? Has he rebranded in an attempt to not be shite? The Hermes of the football world

What kind of fashion nightmare are those pants on Lampard? Why does he need pockets by his knees?

Mina still not booked despite acting like an absolutely unstoppable cunt for 80+ minutes.

17 passes in half an hour Chelsea should be ashamed of themselves for not beating this shite

But if Everton go down, we can sign Gordon and put him to work in a haunted house at Halloween

I see hotshot young manager Frank Lampard’s overriding tactic is now trying to turn every game into a fight and throw out every shithouse tactic in the book. He’s the new Pulis

How in the fuck has Mina not been booked but Mount got one for largely fuck all? I’m no Chelsea or Mount lover but fucking hell, referee. No wonder Azpilicueta (or however it’s spelled) went off it. Atrocious

Lol @ Norwich’s absolute calamity of a squad. I’d have Pukki for a season as an option but that’s basically it

“Phillipsy” ffs Where do they get these nicknames?

Milner got the ball but he was fairly studs up. One of those that could have easily been blown up if it was the other way

As i said, ref set the precedent of protecting the Liverpool players early and in doing so, probably knackered our plan. Bit more quality and we’d have got something since they’re crawling over the line but it’s a stark difference from playing the likes of these and hoping that we keep it down to 3 or 4. We were genuinely competitive and worked their back four, even if we didn’t really carve out anything concrete other than Miggys disallowed goal. Still have a good shout of finishing top half which is frankly miraculous.

Hard to really get into them when the ref is blowing up the minute there’s any contact tbf

VAR breathes a sigh of relief as Mane is taken off before they have to review him going studs up into our keepers thigh

That Maxi situation before. All he has to do is switch the ball to Almiron and make a run in the box for the cross to come in. He does all the hard work, that’s the frustrating part

Thought we haven’t done too badly really considering. If Almiron had held his run for half a second longer, he’d have been onside and we’d have scored. Mind, they’d have spent 25 minutes in the VAR booth looking for a way to disallow it

This refereeing

BT is beyond belief like It’s amazing that Liverpool came along and invented football so we could all bask in their glory

I’m also in the Old George ffs. Please avoid me, CT

Opa Grimbergen blonde in style

What is assured is that I’ll be on the Jack Daniels

Fuck knas. Nowt along the lines of your Fortnite and Warzones because I’m rubbish at them. The most contemporary I’ll get is Gran Turismo 7 but it’ll be whatever I fancy from my retro stuff. Interspersed with random tunes and YouTube videos. Essentially just having a bit of crack, I’m sick of only making myself laugh when I’m playing games

Lol at that lad taking an absolute header over the ropes. Not sure how that constitutes a MAJOR ACCIDENT but the man has got a few clicks out of it so job done

Barton had about 1 good season and goes on like he’s Mr Newcastle whenever he’s interviewed. Can’t be doing with it

Putin is fucked like. Wobbling about the gaff like he’s had a few tequila slammers too many, the mad cunt. We’re fucked once he gets the terminal diagnosis. This has concluded my political overview of the situation.