Ayatollah Hermione

I have visions of CT constantly returning "defective" metal detectors that won't stop beeping before remembering he has a metal plate in his knee.

Aye, selling the players who actually contribute to the side is exactly why we're left with the likes of Williamson and Gouffran, long after they should have been fucked off. Selling Cisse would be fucking madness, especially if you're risking a new striker coming in and asking him to score with the rate Cisse did last season. Who, btw, was the only reason we weren't relegated in April. Those goals from October-January got us the points to keep us alive to the last day. Aye, he missed games by being a fucking radgepacket but leaving us with Riviere is suicide.

That's basically the crux of the problem with this lot "communicating" to us. They seem to think that they can say one thing and do another and nobody will notice. Yet, despite that, they seem to expect results, like renewed season tickets when the major factor in restoring a positive feeling amongst the fans and driving ticket sales is in their actions, not words. And their actions are continually at odds with the rhetoric they send out in statements. Yet another case of Ashley wanting to have his cake and eat it too, much like them wanting maximum value for the players we sell while lowballing clubs for bringing players in. FWIW, I think we'll see players come in but they'll be Carr's second/third choices when we refuse to stump up the cash for the players who will actually improve the team. Then, once we finish 12th, it'll be Charnley against the wall for not securing an 8th place finish and we'll start the same sorry saga off again. June 2016 will see statements of "This time, we promise!" and their antiquated and ridiculous approach to the transfer market will see the same results. Not that I'll miss Charnley like because he appears to be fucking useless but you could plug more qualified people into his position and only achieve similar results. Also, I didn't even realise we hadn't got coaches in a lot of McClaren's staff at Derby are unemployed ffs. I can only hope that the delay is due to them being on holiday and being unable to sign contracts.

ffs, here he comes

Shite Collar.

Parky, that basically means you can take shit from me so get your goggles on. I'm all for nuclear fallout because I want to grow gills and fight for water in the irradiated wasteland of Northumberland.

Well, Sonja, that was CLASSIC intercourse.

I actually meant me. We're all guilty.

Reckon if we didn't ask Cisse to come 60 yards deep and hoof aimless crosses at him, he'd probably score plenty of goals. He's certainly not a shit finisher, hardly his our fault the teams he's played in have been ridiculously negative.

Bean recipe Open tin, empty into a bowl, microwave for about 2 minutes, stir them and then go for another 30 seconds. Depends on how powerful your microwave is though!!!!! You're welcome.

Was hoping you'd see that after the story you told about your foul mouthed Italian/Spanish/Mexican/Other friend who had that as a catchphrase.

Was trying to have a quick one before Babestation came on.

Still on the loose is the Wyn Monster. Justice will be dealt out one day.

this :lol: Easily my favourite thing to ever come from this place.

What a bunch of chancers we are.

Just Matip, baby.

Aye, Rectify is excellent. Also, it has Abigail Spencer in it who is quite comfortably lush.

How do the pedals sound? Before and after the 8 Red Stripe

Armed with a metal detector and always there with a witty quip, it's Robo-Cock!

Reminds me of a story about some bloke who had remarried after his first wife died but still wore the old wedding ring on his right hand. that'll be you at speed dating. "It just reminds me of happier times" before breaking into tears, leaving a very uncomfortable 45 seconds for the poor lasses opposite.

For the purposes of my shit joke, he is.

You fill out your profile, hoy some info on and then go around looking at other profiles and liking them. If you both like each other, it tells you and then you can send her a picture of your cock and balls.

I, for one, think you should go and give her sister a slab.

Bad crack, Gemmill. You want to watch going on Tinder with your pacemaker though, there's some right tidy boilers on there and we're right in bikini season.