Ayatollah Hermione

Was amazing seeing Jonas peel away in celebration, man. Got very dusty in the room this morning when I was rewatching it. It was so good that it inspired me to belt out some incredible karaoke bangers in Cosy Joe's. Cheers, Jonas.

Get Pissed. Gan Radge.

Reckon we should throw all of our support and money into my 5-a-side team.

Awful that, Cath. Sorry to hear it.

Reckon buying a pub is the way to go with this, Mako

Aye, I'd agree with this. I'd take him mirroring his achievements at Boro in a heartbeat atm.

She could handle my Golden Gun. Which I'd use. In her mot.

Look at Sunderland, man. Appointing an actual proper coach and looking like a solid, organised side capable of survival. Makes Ashley's refusal to stump up for a manager even more baffling. The fucking idiot.

If you want some melted cheese for your popcorn, Daddy's Cock, have you tried around your mother's flaps?

Bet CT's daughter is thrilled that he's back on here. Bringing it up every 30 seconds.

FFS, first it was essays, now you're posting like Mr. T.

I'm going to get some cheap, dodgy vodka from B&M Bargains and drink 11 vodka and oranges while watching this. Can't wait.

CT hates Uber because passengers can choose their music and he can't pretend to look hip with the kids by subjecting them to Ellie Goulding and Aviici.

Is it cheap? If yes, good. If no, look for the cheap option.

always makes me laugh that a kid I went to school with is keeping Harewood out of the Hartlepool team. Not because he was shit, he wasn't, just Marlon Harewood

Reckon we both lose our games and we manage to cling on like a big old winnit.

Only reason I'm logging on here on Monday morning is to see Fish, having gone completely mad, posting a video of him holding his own shit in his hands, rubbing it on his face and screaming about Remi Garde in some kind of bizarre, True Geordie rip-off. TBH.

Neither played for us so they can both fuck off. Now, if we're comparing Danny Guthrie and Geremi

Mind, it's great how Carver just blames the players but can't seem to notice that he was stumped once they made a sub and he had no idea what to do.

I reckon Gerrard's legacy is when they were playing in Europe and he tried a long diagonal pass that he completely miss-hit and gave Glenn Johnson absolutely no chance of catching it. Clive Tydlsley's call? "Well, if only Johnson had made that run 5 seconds earlier, he'd have been in!" So, RIP Gerrard, the man who just wasn't psychic enough to telepathically tell his team mates to catch his fucking dreadful passes. Of course Pardew managed to ruin Gerrard's send off. That bloke had made a career out of little victories. The bellend

Tried it and Ryan Gosling won't stop emailing me. FFS, Gemmill

It's about time. I want to slide my throbbing wand through all sorts of unassuming lasses. But, yes, overpopulation, very bad. Let's move to the moon

:lol: unlucky

Sounds like you've taken a heavy blow to the head. Please consult your local GP.