Ayatollah Hermione

Changed my mind, we should come out to Black Sabbath, the song. Even get some WWE lighting and fireworks to build it up. Euro 2016 is in our hands.

does that movie have the answers to the eternal quest for immortality? The first one promised an in depth exploration along those lines. Just with dick jokes.

Aye, I loved the first half and got very tired by the end. The last two episodes in particular are garbage. Why do shows keep killing off the best characters these days and leaving us with the bland as fuck ones? Oh, btw, people die in it, spoilers

four quid haircut. Quid a side

Carver is Ryder's only source so the fact he's saying it isn't on suggests it probably is.

Fuck that, we need a team of fat bastards. Look at the trophies Jon Parkin won. Most Chips Eaten in 10 minutes, all those Yard of Ale contests he boxed off. Born winner

Genuine music legend, the amount of guitarists he influenced must be in the millions. RIP.

I've been listening to, just about, every new release each week so I've got a few more than that to return to. A lot of mediocre music out there, dear me. The stuff I'll keep in rotation for a while will probably be: Sleater-Kinney: No Cities to Love Jazmine Sullivan: Reality Show Universal Togetherness Band: S/T (well recommended if you like your funk btw) Lupe Fiasco - Tetsuo and Youth Natalie Prass - S/T Joey Badass - Badass Jessica Pratt - On Your Own Love Again Father John Misty - I Love You, Honeybear Black Rivers - S/T BADBADNOTGOOD and Ghostface Killah - Sour Soul Sufjan Stevens - Carrie and Lowell Kendrick - TPAB Courtney Barnett - SISATASIJT Young Guv - Ripe 4 Luv Speedy Ortiz - Foil Deer The Tallest Man on Earth - Dark Bird is Home Coupled with the stuff I'll keep in my library for one-offs, playlists, certain weather (it's important), I've probably got close to 50 albums I've liked from this year. Will delete some of them that haven't stuck with me at the end of the year but it's the first year I've kept up with new music properly since about 2011, instead of just hearing the most heavily featured stuff. Also, Snoop Dogg's new album is class

Small, frail and wears glasses though.

Reckon War Pigs would be canny. Plus, all 7 minutes of it would actually seem like less time than God Save The Queen's terrible 2.

The number of loan deal being rumoured doesn't surprise me if the clear-out is going to happen. No way that we're going to go out and actually buy 12-15 new players so may as well pad it out with some lads on loan. If Cisse's leaving, we could still do with an actual striker though. Charlie Austin would probably be a good option. He's fucking rubbish at staying onside too so it'll be like Dave never left.

Roisin Murphy - Hairless Toys. Didn't realise that she had down nowt since 'Overpowered' but it's a good album. Probably ideal for putting on during a Summer night. Still a good year this; The Tallest Man on Earth's album might be his weakest but even his weakest is still very good.

We need a sexy face of Electoral Reform. I suggest Cat Deeley.

Aye, can't whack a cabinet with a homophobic equality minister and a culture minister who wants to bring back hanging and the workhouses. Very progressive choices from our resident, chinless, lizard prick of a prime minister.

Dormer looks like she'd be up for owt. Would pipe you off in traffic, all sorts.

Aye, having read up on it, there's a couple of months of this then it should recover. I can't underestimate how little it's changed though. I've gotten very lucky in that sense. Just don't ask me to smile in photos.

Thanks everyone. Feeling sorry for myself won't help owt and, having looked at it in the mirror, you honestly wouldn't know if I wasn't smiling. I can shut my eye too so I don't think I'll have to tape it shut while sleeping. Seeing a specialist at the Freeman through the week though so I'll see what they say. Have to take 12 steroid tablets in one whack is ridiculous, mind. I'll come out of this like Hulk Hogan.

I would be very disappointed if people didn't take the piss a bit. Just got to keep taking the garys and wait for it to improve.

I'm going to drink through a straw. Now, I know how my victims feel when I'm done putting an MMA clinic on.

Weakness of the face muscles on my left hand side. Apparently the steroids help kick the recovery into gear and it should be alright within a month or so. Still shit scary when it came on this morning though. You can't really tell which means it really could have been a lot worse so I'm thankful for that. Just had a cup of tea there though and nearly spilt the fucker all over me due to my gormless lips.

Shouldn't have called that kid a cunt, went to the doctor's today and diagnosed with a Bell's Palsy. Got to take 12 steroid tablets in one whack for the next 5 days and then smaller dosages for the 5 after that. Hardly noticeable and could have been a lot worse but fuck me, man.

I'd chin yez aal with a miss

Had a great old time with some daft fucker in a taxi situation tonight, Me and my mate walked out of the chippy and a taxi driver, who was stationed outside, motioned to us, telling us he was free to take us home. In doing so, he kicked two kids out of his taxi who had no money on them and were trying to steal a ride, I imagine. Anyway, the kid that was in the front seat took great offence to me actually being able to pay for a taxi and started asking me "What did you call me?! What did you call me?!" Obviously, I didn't miss an opportunity to tell him that I called him a daft cunt (Sorry, Cath) and, rather than start on me, he went behind his mate for a barrier and stared me down. I got into the taxi and he was licking his lips! I don't know whether that bloke wants to fight me or fuck me. Anyway, he's still standing there, bemused at the lack of taxis and I'm in bed. What a fanny.

I had Leicester, Burnley, the mackems, Stoke and, of all teams, Newcastle fucking United let me down. I had misplaced optimism that we might actually win today. That's 185 quid down the drain.FFS.