Ayatollah Hermione

Having a right old laugh imagining Sam Allardyce trying to pronounce these words. A Raumdeuter is probably something he orders from a food stall in Berlin.

The kind of depression a man can only bring on himself.

Aye. There's that typical German affection for you. I wasn't too keen on the boxes of knickers my ex bought me.

Rangers?

Double whammy There's a picture of her holding a shotgun and between that and Kate Bush live performances from 1978, I think that's an untapped fetish of mine.

There was a moment last night where Gerrard turned and, without looking, played the ball wide with the intention of finding Johnson but it ended up about 35 yards away from him. Tyldsley's response? "Oh, Johnson just hadn't set off there or that would have been perfect" The commentary last night was probably the worst commentary I've ever heard.

Sol Campbell in the red card question? If Bramble has played for four premier league teams, he's bound to be in.

I thought they got Palace? Too many dodgy lower league teams in it for me to keep track of.

Home against a Premier League team? I mean, they're not a good one but it's better than the likes of Accrington.

Dribble. I'd line my gums with her shite just to hold her hand.

Blast from the past there

He's definitely aware of his reputation on places like this and Twitter. This place because he must read it (Hello, Lee) and Twitter because Stevie tells him every 15 minutes.

7 in 9 this season, mostly off the bench as well. All he needs is a couple of right blammers and he's back. Give him the Ballon D'or, I say. DAVE CISSE

Great to be reminded that he's a complete fucking lunatic with that drinking and driving story. Always say we should fill our team with wall-to-wall radge packets.

Just got this sorted on Friday and have been watching today's games with it and has been quality so far. At some point, you're only inconveniencing yourself watching shite flash streams if you've got the spare cash for this.

these are class but I can't think you're doing yourself some real damage reading Lee Ryder every day.

Playing him wide. Playing him where he did on Tuesday. Making him cut his hair.

It's almost like he's an unmanageable knacker.

Aye, all the best mate. Can't believe you went to see an American film and actually enjoyed it. Must be mellowing out in your old age.

Right, supposed to have someone coming today to fix a part of the house. Bloke says "I'll be there at half 9" so I get ready, get downstairs at twenty past to get the kettle on and there's a note through the door saying "Called 9.15" You can't just turn up early for something and then fuck off before the arranged time. I mean, I know he'll have other work on but he set aside two hours, from half 9, to do this work so he's only inconveniencing himself, surely? Being early is as bad as being late.

Arsenal fans, man. It's ALWAYS them.

Sunderland outclassed by Man City. Think we played them at just the right time in the league cup.

Got to say, I assumed that would be pictures of the ridiculous bugs running through the whole game.

"HERE, JIMMY, YE WANT TE TRY THIS PRESECCEURRR! IT'S CHAMPION"

Fuck off did he win it!