Ayatollah Hermione

aye, I needed him for an accumulator as well. Had him, Sanchez, Benzema and some kid I can't remember to score. Out of everyone, I'd have expected it to be the kid I can't remember but that Portuguese whopper strides in and fucks the day.

Doing well the Smoggies like. But The Championship being as it is, there's about 2 points between 14 teams. Villa though watched the Spurs game and, despite Spurs being shit for 70, they never really looked like scoring a second, even though Benteke's sending off didn't help. This might actually be the year they go down and what a shame that would be, eh?

Got The Strain, Masters of Sex and The Leftovers to get through sharpish. What should I start with first? Also, considering going through Boardwalk Empire from start to finish now that it's wrapped up.

Specifically, the couch part

Proof if it's ever needed that we can sometimes get carried away by the bairns.

Uncal Mick Wonder if his facebook account is still active.

There's got to be something else in that photo to stretch this out. Next fucking window frames, mate.

Our young lads are fucking class. Mint. Waxa. Pua fucking good.

20 years since Rumble in the Bronx next year.

Aye. Thinking it's alright to just shout anything at someone in the street if they're a woman is the problem.

Sexercise IS the best exercise, I'll give him that. Works out everything. It's a bit like swimming, in that regard.

I reckon rather than wolf-whistling, we should all just shout "SMOOOOOKKKKIN!" like Jim Carrey in The Mask. I saw someone on about this and a bloke commented saying "Well, how am I supposed to speak to women in public?" wtf? Don't.

Cream's albums are shite tbh. Well, Disreali Gears is alright but it's strange that it's got such a reputation when you listen to what other bands were doing at the time. 3 good musicians (even though Ginger Baker's drum solos were shit, just like all drum solos) but the Hendrix Experience did it all better. So did Love, Santana and Traffic. A band that people like because they're "supposed" to like them, soz.

Great bassist in a shit band. His solo stuff is the best mark of his talent overall, if you've not heard. RIP, very underrated

If you cut Lee Clark open and count the rings, you can tell how old he is.

Harry Ramsden is our friend, he fries up lovely fritters

Love rejecting fancy dress invitations around this time of year, usually on the grounds of "I'm an adult" Even better if it's close friends because then I can tell them that they really should know better. You'll do well to beat some of the students though, with regards to shite fancy dress. Was out for a drink around Halloween last year (completely forgot it was that time of the year tbh) and some lass was giving be a bit gip for not being dressed up while I was at the cashpoint, turned round and here's this student, dressed in a Primark Superman t-shirt and blue jeggings, calling herself SuperWoman. That's before you get into the kids wearing plain white t-shirts with a bit of fake blood dotted on it. "Ooh, I'm a zombie" nar but you are brain dead all the same.

and Paperback Ryder was quick as a flash, saying we could do with his 'passion' here

It's like one of those Russian dolls; Ronaldo's torso opens up and Messi hops inside so they can be stored neatly on a shelf.

Same with "THE BEST HANDJOB IN TOWN" at that car wash on Prince Consort Road next to Gateshead Civic Centre. Laugh every time because I'm a child.

Resigned to never getting shot of this shitcunt now tbh

They're a good set of lads, the Swedes. Of course we'd be stuck with the French

Interesting. Shit poem though.

What drink offers has it got on? As far as Twin Peaks goes, I've never seen it but love the soundtrack so I hope Angelo Badalamenti is on board for it as well.

I have expunged all porn from my memory banks thanks to incredibly effective brainwashing courtesy of the Scientologists. Instead, I just queue up Shearer's goal against Chelsea on Youtube and I'm usually done by the time he's turned Desailly.