Ayatollah Hermione

It's life insurance you want if you're stepping in the ring with me

I hope you post this every 5 pages

But, by gum, we'll sell enough players to make sure there is a place for him!

Leazes has taken this a bit too far now like.

Ha, and could Kinnear not have helped experienced Premier League footballer Kevin Nolan settle into a new club? EDIT: Whoops, HF got there first. And I wonder who didn't help any of that?

Looking at the recently released list makes for terrifying reading as I can easily see us poaching a couple to "add depth" in the last week of August. Pardew loves a shit big man up front and there's a lot of them going.

Typical of CT to bring up Nolan to defend Kinnear when it took Hughton to get him playing well. Selective memory.

I think the pair of you have cracked.

I know you wouldn't think it but HF's nephew is actually 6 foot 3.

Leave them on the bottom shelf of the oven, don't fry them.

Will be very unhappy if @YourService can't do anything with this.

Your technique looks shite, mate.

The Incredible Sting Band. Lots of Police songs rearranged in avant-garde style as the man himself sits and brings himself to tantric climax. **/*****

Changing the bed sheets for me is a right fuck on for me since one side of my bed is against the wall so if anyone would like to come in and change the sheets for me, I can always rustle you up a cheese toastie and a bag of prawn cocktail crisps.

Well, he's a midfielder but we can't speak for his personality. He could be defensive, he could be very open-minded.

The Muppets - I didn't like it. The pig woman did not respect the lizard

I'll add it to the list, ta. It's getting a bit out of control though; still not listened to Disclosure's album yet and I meant to get round to that at the start of the month. It's been a mad year for releases.

Some more 2013 albums. The National's just bored me, even though I recognise that you know what you're getting with The National at this point. Nothing struck me in the same way High Violet did. The Knife's 'Shaking The Habitual' has been getting all sorts of "challenging" tags but I'm enjoying it first time through as it's how I like my electronic music. It's definitely on the long side though. Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats - Mind Control. Well recommended for Sabbath fans (who they're supporting on their tour). Back end of the albums goes a bit psychedelic and incorporates bits of drone and it's all the better for it Got that Killer Mike and El-P joint on my 'To Listen' list and if half the albums on it are as good as I hope, 2013 will have been tremendous so far.

Can I have a job? I'm dead good at plastering/baking/setting up sound for gigs/stripping. I'm certain you're running one of those so just let me know.

Has that thread been deleted? I was looking for it the other day and had no luck. Partly because the search bit in people's profiles only goes back so far.

CT, will you help me fund my 50's themed diner, Pulp Kitchen?

I'm eating real fucking food tonight and dying when I'm 65 like a real man.

The brass neck on him! Made an actual, straight-up fortune by lifting choruses from other people's songs and complains when someone else uses 2 of the most common words in the English language in a brand. How do you get to that level of delusion? Honestly, I want to reach it

I told him he could use it as olive oil. RIP