Ayatollah Hermione

Ben Thatcher elbowing his way down Westgate Road to meet him

Is there some sort of disgraced pedophile that he can hire perhaps? A known nazi sympathiser? A fan of Piers Morgan?

Abandon all hope

The kind of girl you want so much it makes you sorry? The kind of girl who puts you down when friends are there, you feel a fool?

That looks like a Craig David impersonator. Or my mate Are you sure it's not my mate?

Why's he not doing the celebration? Amateur

Happy birthday, dear. I'm sure you'll be along with a graph later on to show us where this places on your "Favourite Birthday List"

Joe Satriani Maybe everyone's wised up

They really have to stop doing these conferences in front of fucking stupid people because holy christ, the cheering really make everything look really bad Ant, there's still a good portion of people who don't have these consoles hooked up and, not to mention, every single step of the DRM business seems really convoluted. The 24 hour connection thing doesn't bother me but I'd bet it's a hassle for some portion of the audience out there. "Well, it doesn't bother me personally" does not stop an idea being bad. Especially when you factor in that when you share your account across "family", it requires a check every hour. If the Xbox servers suffer a bad blackout that lasts, say 72 hours, in the first few months, they're completely fucked, especially if Sony starts strong out the gate.

Jeff Gerstmann is answering a lot of questions on his Tumblr too: http://blog.jeffgerstmann.net/ As jaded and baffling as he can be about video games themselves, he nails the industry side of things all the time.

That should be the next real-time television channel. Set some cameras up in a hospital, Big Brother style and watch the fallout.

Elvis Costello on Wednesday

Just caught up with this over the past couple of days and enjoyed it immensely. Don't understand the slow criticisms at all; seems like necessary exposition to make larger events mean something. Without that, Red Wedding just becomes hollow.

Even for your first year watching football, you're incredibly poor at making the easiest of points.

Puma, man. It's black and white bastard stripes, it's not hard.

A sticky situation that

I once shot my mate with a water pistol, got it right in his eyes and then watched as he stumbled straight into a tree which gave him a concussion. I could have easily stopped it like but it was funny as fuck. I'll try and think of more later but I have a dint in my head from where I smacked my face off a gritbox whilst on a skateboard.

That's not imaginary, have you not seen Spy Kids?

If you want to express yourself with your footwear, you should get some plain white ones and a fuck load of markers. Or learn parkour.

Bit presumptious to assume they're imaginary like. Have you tried setting up a video camera to try and catch this dragon? It's eating you out of house and home.

Fucking hell

Cheers, darling. They're the kind of places I, especially, love. Worth it just to take in some of the architecture as far as I'm concerned.

Looking for somewhere fairly cheap and George Michael for the summer for two people to doss about, see the sights and get fat and merry. Thinking along the lines of Prague but having already done it, would be canny to get something different. Though the lager was £1.20 a pint last time so I'll gladly do it again.