Ayatollah Hermione

Forgot that Newport played them off the park for a good hour Dutch Pardew seems harsh but it’s not that far off

Manchester has a stadium built with public money so why don’t they ground share with Man City?

His suggestion that honouring contractual clauses isn’t “how UK law works” bodes very well for his time running a football club. Mind, this is the bloke who has spent most of his time dodging tax and now wants to use public money to build a new stadium so the cunt is clearly in cloud cuckoo land. More great news

Dancing in the crowd waving a cheese slice around their heads is a natural progression

If it’s true that there’s more of an ideological issue between Howe, Nickson et al and Ashworth, then it’s absolutely right to let him go and hopefully get some serious wedge for him in the process. Everything to do with footballing matters should be around giving Eddie Howe every possible advantage to succeed as he’s still the man to take us onward IMO. If shifting to a turbo-charged version of moneyball sees us separate the very best of the best from the top tier of European player, then that has to be the way to go. That’s not to say I think Howe should be choosing his own DOF but it should be someone with who he’s closely aligned in most principles

Do their lot want a proper “hard man” in this time or have they moved on from that?

With Dubravka, it’s clear that his back four have no trust or confidence in him whatsoever. Coupled with his complete lack of communication, it’s a disaster

I am fucking pig sick of Dubravka, mind. He’s done. Karius cannot be worse, I don’t believe it

5 at the back, please @EddieHowe

This ref is fucking dogshit. He’s one to “let things go” and before you know it, they’re raking studs down Bruno’s calf and scything Almiron down. Almost like you need to nip things in the bud, dickhead

He’ll be the hardest player to replace in this side IMO. Unless there’s some young centre half out there who can play 70 yard rakers, carry the ball 50 yards up the pitch effortlessly and score the odd screamer. £3 million, man. Cheers, Rafa

Aye, I’m not sure I’m interested in having Hope’s negative slant on everything as part of my daily doom scrolling, like

Got a feeling that it’ll all come out that poor Lewis Hall has been the catalyst for all of this.

Out of embarrassment, I assume?

We need to get shot but every injury is knocking a couple of million off his price

I know that the press are desperate for Man United to turn it around and become dominant again but I think it’s a massive task over there. You can see “Full Sporting Control” being taken out of Brailsford’s hands pretty quickly if the Glazers are any indication

Every single club has access to reams of data on thousands of players I’m sure he’s a very savvy operator but this all seems quite overblown. We’ve seen far more movement with the lads on the commercial side. I’m not sure it took a genius to say the training ground needed done up

Not to mention his disastrous physio appointment

Not cooking but went to The Broad Chare for a lamb dinner yesterday and it’s still as good as I remembered it

Last month, we exposed the massive gap between the two teams and, had one Joelinton not got injured, 2-0 after 46 minutes would have been a mere prelude. No amount of “hatred” can ever soften the knowledge that we played with them like a lion with a dead gazelle

Longstaff has, by all conventional wisdom, struggled recently but he’s also beaten his best goalscoring season with 3 month to go. This is a team of contradictions and impossible to figure out

Conference League would be class because it’s a knocking bet we’d be favourites to win the cunt. Also, mad away trips to Estonia

Mind, Gibbs-White had yet another good game, I thought. He was playing lethal balls to set them away. Antony Gordon would love him in the midfield…

Not sure about Liverpool and Man Utd. Man Utd have Hojlund and Liverpool can score from all over. Also, despite appearing like a total donkey, Nunez has something like 12 goals and 12 assists in all competitions this year. He’s nowhere near as shit as memes paint him out to be. And we all know Chelsea will sign the wrong player for £100 million so looks like Toney to Arsenal is happening

It’ll be Sesko and you’ll like it. Especially when we’re all singing Thong Song to him