Ayatollah Hermione

Blackburn and Stoke.

Fucking hell. The equivalent of Johnny Depp trading in old Paradis for Penelope Cruz.

Good player with the capability of being excellent on his day. As my mate said on his return, "get in, one of our only players who would actually get in other teams is back"

And if Gerrard's deliveries stay as good as they have been, he needs to be out on the right, knocking crosses in from deep for Carroll.

Aye, Italy's midfield is stronger than any we've played so far and Pirlo is, maybe, the central midfielder of the tournament so far (Schweinsteiger aside, perhaps). I assumed that we'd be well organised, tough to beat and not concede many (though we made it easy for Sweden in that mad 10 minutes) and that would get us through the groups. I think the Italy game will be tight but we'll struggle to score. There's every chance Andy Carroll could be the secret weapon though IMO

Aye, I remember that being the long and short of it but despite that, he still got goals and assists here and Villa. I'm not sure if Hodgson is telling him to concentrate on defending first but he just looks completely out of his depth. A player like Gutierrez has showed this season that you can focus on protecting your full-back and still be an attacking threat if you have a good engine and can carry the ball well. Actually, he scored far less than I thought up here. I remember him scoring more for some reason.

Ba owes us nowt. For a lot of last season, NUFC was The Demba Ba Show with guest roles from Tim Krul and Coloccini. As @LeazesTerrace said on Twitter; "Mick Quinn - using something Demba Ba hasn't done as a vessel for his frustrations on the state of the game."

All those balls going into the mixer, man. Winning the second ball, aerial challenges, nothing but sheer graft. EPL at its finest

He never looked quite as bad as that, did he? Not to my knowledge anyway. His crossing has stayed the same like.

Marveaux or Ferguson, I'd guess. I actually think Obertan might be canny wide left, cutting back in and attempting some crosses.

Laura Nyro, Bryan Scary, James Carr, July and The Band. All excellent.

It would be mint if Depp went on a tear through all the Hollywood starlets, slaghammer aloft.

If Shane Ferguson can have a 27 page thread, so can Luuk De Jong.

That what the wife tells you?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2031188/Newcastle-agree-deal-Inter-Milans-Davide-Santon.html Don't step up to the daddy. Mail have been on point with our dealings recently too. If he signs, we'll need somewhere to talk about him so don't tut me, you bunting bellend.

His name sounds a bit like a Jamaican pointing out a bunch of kids.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2161768/Newcastle-close-Luuk-Jong-eye-Mathieu-Debuchy.html?ito=feeds-newsxml Mail sez £9.5 million deal close to being agreed

When did they sign for us?

"Shitdrew"?

Is Walcott alreet? Though I imagine that performance against Sweden will be the first and last good thing he does in this tournament.

Aye, he needs a partner

That's how it starts. You'll be running down the street, bollock naked, swinging your old chap around singing 'This Town Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us' before long.

De Jong, Cisse and Ba is mint. Bear in mind, we're going to have a load of extra games plus the ACN. We need another good striker.

You know all those adorable dogs in old films? Just think, they're all dead now.