Ayatollah Hermione

Our gaffer is the same with getting ex-forces lads working on the floor. He’s a billy bullshitter in the extreme though so our theory is that he wants them in so he can lie about being a sniper or bomb defusing expert in his previous years

Something is afoot, like. Last time they had a transfer summit, Gordon came in not long after. Some cunt on loan in midfield would be my guess

I think you’ll find every single private jet is chartered solely for football purposes and nothing else

A kid I went to school with (fat charver) once “boxed” on one of Steve Wraith’s shit nights at the Dunston Fed. Top that

Him singing in his second language would explain why I can only understand every third word

Lascelles leaving and Tosin in on a free from Fulham in the summer could be a goer IMO. Or even a knockdown fee now

Having a Hungarian dad might explain why he sings like he’s got a mouthful of sugar most of the time

I remember him scoring a pretty inconsequential goal (for us) against Cardiff that pretty much sent them down and he ran the entire length of the pitch to celebrate What a fuckwit

Glad we’re not neglecting the long term tbh. The only reason this kid would come here is for promised game time, you’d think

That’s beyond tragic. Honestly, what are they hoping to achieve? Which team in red and white will be forced to endure them next?

Edwards is saying we want Gibbs-White to replace Almiron. On the plus side, that would be a phenomenal signing. On the negative side, it’s Luke Edwards reporting it

Any chance Sugar Puffs need us to advertise them again? Or whatever cereal it is they eat in Sunderland

Not started yet, even with the stinking hangover yesterday. Just noticed your DM though so it’ll be getting watched. Just need the right combo of a Friday night in by myself with fuck all else to do

Can see why we are considering selling these players considering they’re the older ones and we’ll probably not get this sort of money for them again. If this is what Ashworth and Howe think will take us further, then so be it. No time for sentiment

If you do go there, I can well recommend the hotel we stayed in. https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g189467-d265556-Reviews-Nostos_Hotel-Kallithea_Kassandra_Halkidiki_Region_Central_Macedonia.html

Currently needing the famous Chinese Chow Mein hangover cure as it stands. 13 hour drinking day with the lads from work yesterday and if someone had offered me a lethal injection when I woke up this morning, I’d have snapped it up. That’ll be me done with big drinking for a while, I have to say. I had a quality day but is it really worth feeling this shite? Probably but shine a light

I’ve just cringed myself inside out reading that shite

Yet another player that has been here for a ridiculously long time. Coming on 7 years ffs. The amount of players who should have been stopgaps who have hung around for years is unbelievable. Cheers, Ashley

Another bumper crowd tonight. There must be 20,000 sat behind the camera

People will write 1000 word articles when this will suffice

I see their knowledge of Saudi business practice rivals that of Saudi geo-politics

Did you manage to get the ball through the windmill alright?

I haven’t watched it yet but this mad mini golf show from some idiot in America looks fucking shite but I’m going to watch it all when I’m hungover and you can’t stop me

What a thoroughly tedious affair FFP is. Absolutely stifling any kind of joy in football discussion

Funny how people think the PL were actually arsed about who actually owned us and not that the Saudi piracy issue was robbing them of a load of cash