Ayatollah Hermione

Must have wanted Champions League football.

There we gan, nowt the neet. The mouthpiece hath spoken.

Sol Campbell could be heading to Gateshead.

The longer this goes, the more likely we're to go to the shit Championship striker well.

No Cisse for us according to SSN and Freiburg itself.

Joe Cole in talks with Villa.

SSN taking the piss. "We are hearing there could be exciting news"

David Craig looks like an Enid Blyton character come to life

Just a shame it's usually someone shite

Wouldn't mind deeing a swap for Ridgewell and sending Ranger their way.

Also, after Bendtner's bollocks about being great over the summer, I'm glad he's ended up at Stoke :lol Wigan have signed Shaun Maloney.

Carroll

Stevie on form tonight like

Fuck me sideways.

Aye, probably better than Williamson. Has Situ signed yet?

Without meaning to go all Deano, a starting XI of Krul, Enrique, Coloccini, Taylor, Santon, Gutierrez, Tiote, Cabaye, Barton, Ben Arfa and Carroll would have been a bit tasty.

Excuse me, we have one left-back, I think that's enough, don't you, you greedy sod?

Scott Parker and Liam Ridgewell handing in transfer requests. I hope Hughton gets the time to recover from the exodus at Brum.

Signed.

You know in Palestine, they shoot people who are shit at karaoke. Is that true like? Apparently, if you sing 'My Way' badly, you get thrown out, kicked to fuck or in the worst case, shot dead. I swear I read this on the BBC site.

Is it painfully obvious to anyone else now that Hansen doesn't watch football anymore?

That twat in the hat from Exeter needs to be far away from this. Also, wearing long tracksuit esque jackets with suits is the worst crime.

Hughton's jumper, tie and suit jacket combo was canny smart.

Fucking hell, joy. If he's leading the line, I'm going to be gutted. Though I think he's probably better than Lovenkrands.

Sounds good to me. I'll take them off your hands, mate.