Kitman

I dunno, I've got used to moaning out Shola over the years. What would it be like without him at the club? Probably like having your bunions sorted out....a bit of pain now but would save more years of suffering.....

The size of peas. Ashley has saved his career from going down the toilet and given him a bigger job than he could have dreamt of since his West Ham days. I doubt he's going to kick off over getting no transfer money in January. He's already making noises about how the squad is better than he thought, to me that says he's resigned to the status quo. If some money is found I reckon Pardew will be one of the last to know about it. Basically Ashley could whack it up his rear end with no lube and Pardew will thank him for it.

I don't think Ashley thinks that way sadly....

Just one Barnetto, give it to me.....

urgh

My advice is to go to NZ instead, where you won't be subjected to floods, bushfires, lethal fauna and Aussies

"Rapey"

More like: Pardew: "Hello Sandra, this is Alan Pardew, can I book an urgent meeting with Mike to talk about the January transfer budget?" Secretary: "Hang on, I'll check his diary" * Sound of muffled conversation * Secretary: "I can't fit you in till February I'm afraid" I thought that was going to end with Sandra getting raped.

We've more chance of signing Lucas Radebe.

If Kadar and Routledge are an important part of the squad why loan them out? Out of the players you listed surely only Carroll, Ben Arfa and S Taylor (who I wasn't aware is injured) could currently be described as first team players. 1 striker, midfielder, defender. I don't disagree the squad isn't good or big enough but that was the case on day 1 of the season. To pull this "We're down to the bare bones" nonsense in the press (which 'Arry Redknapp usually indulges in) is disingenuous. It's not really to do with injuries, it's more about the squad being shit.

More like: Pardew: "Hello Sandra, this is Alan Pardew, can I book an urgent meeting with Mike to talk about the January transfer budget?" Secretary: "Hang on, I'll check his diary" * Sound of muffled conversation * Secretary: "I can't fit you in till February I'm afraid"

Hang on a minute. There's only 4 on the injury list according to Physioroom.com (5 if you also include Gosling). The EPL average is about 3. Out of those only Ben Arfa and Carroll would be regular first teamers - one striker and one midfielder. Smith is a squad player, R Taylor ditto, Gosling has been out injured pretty much the whole season, so is a bench player at best. Tiote is not injured but suspended. The squad may be thin but it's not down to injuries imo.

That's what happens when you ruin like Forest Gump

I reckon he demanded to go to Villa and made it clear he would be very unhappy to stay.

And aye, it is vital we replace him. A stop gap signing will do for now, no need to panic buy, just get someone in who'll do an average job and play when Welbeck/Gyan is injured. I don't think it'll be Bothroyd but I guess we'll wait and see, I think he'd do an alright 6 month job for what it's worth. Obviously the main problem of buying in January is the lack of quality options, especially with strikers. Almost better not to buy anyone and bring on a reserve than pick up a shite striker like Best who you're stuck with.

Most footballers are money grabbing pricks though. The price was very good for Bent, the key thing is how well you replace him. I think you'll miss him personally despite what you say.

I reckon Sunderland's version of events is more believable

Because it's unrealistic?

or the shit goal celebration

Definitely. Funniest thread in ages.

Depends where you live Sunderland ?

Having Ben Arfa and Gosling back are just like new signings* * which means there won't be any new signings

I only care about getting to safety first and then improving for next season. Being the "Top North East Team" is small time thinking imo.

This smacks of rummaging in the bargain bin to me.....

Pardew should take responsibility for this result imo. We weren't playing Real Madrid ffs.....