Gemmill

You're fucking right. I took 7 tablets over 8 days. I was tempted to get the litmus paper out to check my turds at one point, they must have been pure alkali.

Oof this has got me reaching for the Nexium.

I've signed it Britain's Sexiest Cricket Fan, in case that matters.

No idea if it makes any difference but I use a VPN. If they turn up here they'll be getting the "GET BACK YA BASTARD" treatment from the Ring doorbell.

Whatever, Milko!

remember when Des Barnes on Neighbours had a trainer called Arnie. That's how I see this going.

Obviously you're not starting with 5k on C25k so don't worry about that for now. Just get out there and get started. Or to put it another way, get your trainers on cuntface.

Get yourself down to the beach, podcast in your lugs, and start plodding. Do the couch to 5k as Meenzer has suggested. And honesty, anything is better than nothing. You don't need to have any lofty goals. If you get to a point where you're running 5k, 3 times a week (which will happen in no time), you've chinned it. You could easily go up from that to do something longer on a weekend, or you could just stick with that and it'll do you the world of good. Trainers on, cuntface. Hop to it.

"To RobinRobin!"

Aye Severance is fucking class. The S1 finale is some of the best telly going.

Come on Arsenal you fucking divs. Win and keep those fixtures piling up.

The point I was making is the massive difference in quality between 1st XI and 2nd XI. No other side capable of hanging around in the top 6 has such a huge drop off in quality. I know it's just a function of where we are in the development of the club, but it's still quite jarring. Isak or Murphy scoring their chances is not relevant.

Nice job not answering the question, PADDOCKSLAG.

Can anyone make a convincing argument that the team that started v Sheff Wed could survive relegation in the PL? It just underlines how mental our squad is that one half of the squad is top 6 material, and the other half is a relegation candidate.

Morning Show. Some show with Jacob in the title. I think Your Honour might be decent. Slow Horses is good. But aye, best of all is IPTV.

Aye I've got a Ring alarm so it's all just built through routines in the Alexa app. You can get it to turn lights on when you walk in the room using the alarm motion sensors too. Or you can use light switches. LIKE A CUNT.

Yep, agreed. Arsenal and Man City to get maximum points from all the other CL spot challengers. And to draw at an absolute minimum.

Ah fuck bloke on the Athletic podcast recommended Stevenage as a good bet to beat Villa. And I straight up ignored it.

Hope is v reliable re Newcastle, so that'll be right.

If he is, he'll know that I'm fighting the good fight by having it set at 19 degrees during winter. SLAVA UKRAINI!

You'll never truly live the dream with that attitude. By which I mean telling Alexa goodnight and having her power down all the downstairs lights and TV and simultaneously turning on both the bedside lamps. Or having an outside light which turns on when the back door is open and off when it closes. Keep using your light switch, old man.

Has Kuol been announced as a Hearts loanee yet?

I felt bad for him when the camera focused on him about a minute after the chance. He looked tortured. Still no excuse for a striker in any of the four divisions not to hit the target there, but he looked like his head had gone.

Would be counter to his development too. He needs to be playing lots, not sitting on a bench.