Billy Whitehurst

Wonderful stuff, keep the rest of us posted so we all don’t have to sully ourselves by going on there.

The suspension on his vespa must be absolutely fucked.

The state of this bloke in the Sunderland end.

Brilliant for Palace that. First ever trophy, you have to be thrilled for them. Nice to see the trophies being spread around a bit too. Would love us to get Guehi, he was quality (Muniz and Eze too).

Shit news that mate, very sorry to hear that.

They’d be better off going for some massive fucker who can get on the end of Thomas Partey’s long throws. Last night was like watching Stoke City.

I don't know if it has been mentioned on here (as I couldn't be arsed trawling through the xG drivel) but Pope did very well on the penalty. Feigned to go to his right just as Eze went to strike the ball which made Eze's mind up to go to Pope's left. Murphy also, what a transformation. That's what investing time into coaching players gets you rather than being a lazy thin skinned, fat bodied, snide who relies on his son to stick up for him on social media. Anyway, I'll let you get back to the xG now, apologies for derailing the thread with an observation about the actual fucking match.

The term for them is Wellends I believe!

Marvellous, we completely overpowered them. That was like a training match, we were miles ahead of them.

I was just thinking the same thing. I really hope Flange doesn’t get fired.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Sarkozy is on trial at the moment too, the French aren’t fucking around.

Another triumph from you. We’re going to need a separate thread for a retrospective of your finest Photoshop works soon.

To be fair, I’d probably watch that.

I already know one handshake so I’ll stick with that one. Fair play though, you’re really hoovering up the content after the cup final win! I assume that you draw the line at Fish’s podcast though?

Does it get any better after the first 3 mins of random footballers getting out of taxis and fist bumping people we don’t know?

Bruno and Joelinton both in tears really got me. Two lads from Brasil with no ties to the club but they just get it. A total credit to themselves, brilliant lads. This could be the gin talking but I fucking love how much this meant to them.

What a fucking shocking stadium that is. If there is a worse place to watch a match, I’ve yet to see it. I reckon I was at least 80 yards from the pitch.

Japan is like nowhere else. Have been for work a few times but only ever to Tokyo. Would love to take the family for a trip to see all of Japan but my girls are only 8 and 5 so probably need to wait a few years. If you don’t get to sumo there then there is a grand sumo tournament at The Royal Albert Hall in October. It’s only the second time it has ever been outside Japan.

Likewise, loads of tickets kicking around for the away end for this one.

I don’t really see alarm bells ringing after that. Brighton are bang in form and that could have easily gone either way today with the two goals ruled out. Big Joe is back and it sounds like Botman may be back for the cup final. Gordon will be a loss but he hasn’t been brilliant recently. It’s a shame to go out but I just hope someone other than Man City wins it.

It’s a relatively recent one for you in fairness.

I’ll have you know that I’ve actually got a PhD in ‘History of American Psychology and Spurious Ownership Rumours’ from Scumbag College.

I quite like ‘Dances with Wolves’ as it happens.

I think he means ‘Dances with Wolves’. ‘Dancing with Wolves’ sounds like some kind of snuff reality TV show. I for one would happily watch Lukey boy dancing in his ‘Free Henry Mauriss’ t-shirt as a rabid wolf sets about him.