TheInspiration

Real first name: Philip Nathanael Kelly Nickname: PK, Kelster, other stupid names, most profanities Age: 17 Occupation: Professional layabout (and also school student) Location: Bridge, a boring village near Canterbury, Kent Language(s) spoken? English and a bit of French (can at least read it well anyway) Avatar - why? Too lazy to change it. Previous avatar? Can't remember. Tell us when you first joined the boards? Around a couple of years ago. Board highlights? None as far as I can recall. Board lowlights? About 75% of my pointless posts. What would you be doing if you weren't doing your current job? I would actually have a job. Pets? Black and white cat (Toon supporting of course), Sebastian, 10 years old I play a bit like.... Pele in my prime. Football heroes? Shay Given. Football villains? Anyone who plays for Sunderland and Middlesbrough Best advice given? Don't take any advice from me. Ideal partner? Someone I probably won't get. Ideal dinner date? Some classy fish and chips from the shop round the corner. Ideal meal? Most things Chinese. Can you cook? Certain things - mainly cakes. Current wheels? My feet. Soon to start driving lessons though (eventually) Biggest influence? Dunno... family? TV programmes? Match of the Day, F1, Mock The Week etc. Burger and chips or fish and chips? Fish, if it's nice and battered and greasy. Chinese or indian? What do you order? Chinese. Favourite tunes? Currently Taking Back Control by Sparta. Abi Titmuss or Jodi Marsh? Jodi Marsh, though Titmuss is almost as bad. George Clooney or Bradley Pitt? Neither, thanks. Favourite film? Original Star Wars trilogy (boring I know) If I won a million pounds.... I'd donate it to charity of course. Age first drunk alcohol? First drink? Too long ago to remember, but I doubt I liked it. Ever suspended/expelled from school? Why? Internally suspended for spanking someone in the face with a sponge cricket bat. Grown up since of course. Favourite insult? Most insults including a reference to the other person's face. Not a lot of people know that......... I'm quarter-Chinese and extremely "double-jointed" Most you've ever spent on an item of clothes? About a tenner. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Four I think. I'm obsessed with..... Killing people. In 5 years time, I hope to be.... A graduate and working.

Mock The Week never fails to make me laugh. I'm really surprised Frankie Boyle isn't a bit more successful as he's certainly one of the funniest guys around.

That's a daft argument tbh. You're making out like Ameobi has been selected as our first-choice striker when in reality he has only really become that due to the injuries and managerial incompetence in the transfer market during the last few years. He has always been a squad striker and now that Owen has committed himself (for the time being), we've signed Viduka and Martins isn't looking to go anywhere soon, he will once again be a squad striker. And he has shown himself more than capable in that department, standing in towards the end of season 2005-06 and at the start of last season to good effect by chipping in with goals which is what you described previously as all you care about and not whether he's a 100% professional or a nice guy. I personally think Ameobi's career to date can't really be judged fairly or objectively. Earlier on in his career there was always Shearer, Bellamy and then Shearer, Kluivert and Bellamy, followed by Shearer and Owen blocking his path. As a result the vast bulk of Ameobi's appearances came as a sub late on in games or the odd appearance here or there and when he did get a game he was often paired with a partner who wasn't exactly suited to his game. Furthermore he's had various troublesome injuries to contend with over the years such as his hip. And lets not forget some of the clueless managers he's had managing him (left wing under Souness?) and the struggling team behind him charged with setting him up with chances. It is no wonder he's not really produced anything of note in all the years. And when he does finally step out of Shearer's shadow and gets a decent run of games? He actually started scoring goals, until that hip started giving him jip again of course. And now he finds himself back at square one - a squad striker. Say what you will about his first touch, his goals to appearances record or his style of play - it has been at times almost impossible for him to make a mark and I think these contributing factors often get overlooked as his critics go for the obvious and in the case of your quoted 'point' Jimbo, the plain daft. I'll answer your question for what it's worth: Any club who lost their main strikers to injury and were unable to or incompetent in the transfer market to replace them, that's who. BTW I'm not his biggest fan either, he's an average player who ideally, would be replaced in the squad by an infinetly better player but we are not Chelsea or Man Utd and have to get the best out of what we have until we are in such a position, and he is good enough as a squad player for this current squad, anyone who thinks otherwise plainly hasn't a clue. In my opinion of course. QFT.

De La Soul - Breakadawn.

He wasn't "playing well"... he is far more of a weight to the team in comparison to what he can bring. It isn't a foolish thing to say, it's an observation. He's been at the same club as a legendary English striker (as well as Sir Bobby!) throughout his footballing education and during his eventual break into the first team.. yet he has one of worst fist touches and footballing brains I've seen (not even just at the top level). Yet now he is bragging about how much he learned over years from Shearer! He has some nerve. If his workrate was that great maybe he'd have sorted himself by now, but he still makes the same errors over and over. Anyway enough about our pile of crap for now. Who cares is he wasn't playing well (by your opinion)? He's contributing to the team and that's what matters. I've never said he's a footballing genius but he hasn't warranted to be called a "pile of crap" and anything else you've called him. Why not insult many of our other players, because there sure is better reason to as Ameobi is at least a decent guy and good profressional. I think I'd make a good profressional (attitude wise anyway) and I'm like to think I'm a decent guy, does that mean I deserve a run out for Newcastle United ? No, but that's not really relevant to my post if you read again. I don't need to read it twice thanks, the measure of a striker is his return in goals, Martins whilst having a shit first touch etc knows how to stick the ball in the back of the net, Shola on the other hand hasn't consistantly done that during his Toon career, yet still gets second chance after second chance. I think you'll find you do need to read it twice. The part about Shola being a decent guy/professional was me criticising Matt for always insulting him in that rather abusive way - I was merely pointing there are far worse people at our club that deserve to be insulted more than him. Shola gets this just because he's a bit clumsy and talks optimistically (usually followed by abuse just for that). In response to your comment, as has been pointed out enough times, Shola has found the net many times in the past year and a half when he has played, but like the rest of his critiques you're harping on about how bad he was a few years ago as if there's really relevent now. He's not even hard a chance to prove himself now his hip injury has gone, for goodness sake. How many of the so called top half clubs in the Premier League do you think would start Shola Ameobi in their team ? None, and interestingly enough, I said he should be a fourth-choice striker...

He wasn't "playing well"... he is far more of a weight to the team in comparison to what he can bring. It isn't a foolish thing to say, it's an observation. He's been at the same club as a legendary English striker (as well as Sir Bobby!) throughout his footballing education and during his eventual break into the first team.. yet he has one of worst fist touches and footballing brains I've seen (not even just at the top level). Yet now he is bragging about how much he learned over years from Shearer! He has some nerve. If his workrate was that great maybe he'd have sorted himself by now, but he still makes the same errors over and over. Anyway enough about our pile of crap for now. Who cares is he wasn't playing well (by your opinion)? He's contributing to the team and that's what matters. I've never said he's a footballing genius but he hasn't warranted to be called a "pile of crap" and anything else you've called him. Why not insult many of our other players, because there sure is better reason to as Ameobi is at least a decent guy and good profressional. I think I'd make a good profressional (attitude wise anyway) and I'm like to think I'm a decent guy, does that mean I deserve a run out for Newcastle United ? No, but that's not really relevant to my post if you read again. I don't need to read it twice thanks, the measure of a striker is his return in goals, Martins whilst having a shit first touch etc knows how to stick the ball in the back of the net, Shola on the other hand hasn't consistantly done that during his Toon career, yet still gets second chance after second chance. I think you'll find you do need to read it twice. The part about Shola being a decent guy/professional was me criticising Matt for always insulting him in that rather abusive way - I was merely pointing there are far worse people at our club that deserve to be insulted more than him. Shola gets this just because he's a bit clumsy and talks optimistically (usually followed by abuse just for that). In response to your comment, as has been pointed out enough times, Shola has found the net many times in the past year and a half when he has played, but like the rest of his critiques you're harping on about how bad he was a few years ago as if there's really relevent now. He's not even hard a chance to prove himself now his hip injury has gone, for goodness sake.

He wasn't "playing well"... he is far more of a weight to the team in comparison to what he can bring. It isn't a foolish thing to say, it's an observation. He's been at the same club as a legendary English striker (as well as Sir Bobby!) throughout his footballing education and during his eventual break into the first team.. yet he has one of worst fist touches and footballing brains I've seen (not even just at the top level). Yet now he is bragging about how much he learned over years from Shearer! He has some nerve. If his workrate was that great maybe he'd have sorted himself by now, but he still makes the same errors over and over. Anyway enough about our pile of crap for now. Who cares is he wasn't playing well (by your opinion)? He's contributing to the team and that's what matters. I've never said he's a footballing genius but he hasn't warranted to be called a "pile of crap" and anything else you've called him. Why not insult many of our other players, because there sure is better reason to as Ameobi is at least a decent guy and good profressional. I think I'd make a good profressional (attitude wise anyway) and I'm like to think I'm a decent guy, does that mean I deserve a run out for Newcastle United ? No, but that's not really relevant to my post if you read again.

He wasn't "playing well"... he is far more of a weight to the team in comparison to what he can bring. It isn't a foolish thing to say, it's an observation. He's been at the same club as a legendary English striker (as well as Sir Bobby!) throughout his footballing education and during his eventual break into the first team.. yet he has one of worst fist touches and footballing brains I've seen (not even just at the top level). Yet now he is bragging about how much he learned over years from Shearer! He has some nerve. If his workrate was that great maybe he'd have sorted himself by now, but he still makes the same errors over and over. Anyway enough about our pile of crap for now. Who cares is he wasn't playing well (by your opinion)? He's contributing to the team and that's what matters. I've never said he's a footballing genius but he hasn't warranted to be called a "pile of crap" and anything else you've called him. Why not insult many of our other players, because there sure is better reason to as Ameobi is at least a decent guy and good profressional.

That article just wasn't funny.

From what I can gather from the prospectus and introduction they gave at the uni, it's a bit of both. You get the chance to go to the States for a year as part of the course though, and seeing as I've always enjoyed going over there it was a chance I didn't want to pass up. It's a great campus, and even better for me as they have an ice hockey society and wor lass is going as well. Yeah, really liled the look of it and Nottingham in general. My sister has finished her second year there and definitely recommends it also. Don't forget your vest. One person has been killed there in 18 months. 16 I think so far this year in London. Hardly fair to label Nottingham as the murder capital. Besides the reputation is a bit silly - anyone from there will tell you the violence is only in a small part of the city. Everyone I've known to have lived there say it's fantastic.

Definitely one of our best players, but I think NobbySol makes a point in that he was a bit mistake-prone at times.

Well, he barely played last season and still scored five goals. The season before that he hit some form in the second half and carried it on throughout pre-season. The season before that we had Souness and he was having that hip injury (which he had for the next year also and still played well). It's a pretty foolish comment to make basically. And nothing good of course. No matter how many goals he may end up scoring he's still an [insert several profanities] because he makes silly mistakes. Bit harsh tbh.

Wait a sec, what then are your reasons for him being "bollocks"? In fact he played very well under Roeder (as bad a manager as he was) - you cannot deny this and again you'd better not play the fool and whine on about him being crap when he was 17 etc etc. He has improved - there is no doubt about this. And of course his bad hip had an effect on him - he had it for two years. How can you draw conclusions about his ability when his most recent performances (as in the last two years) have been when injured. Speak English also please. Plus I don't know why you want Shola to show everyone his bollocks. Back to the title, I don't want to get all "this could be Shola's season", but I maintain at least that he gets way too much stick and isn;'t as bad as people like MattM4 wish he were. In an ideal scenario, he will be our fourth-choice striker this season and he shouldn't be better than that, however provided he'sw fit he will get games, and I don't see why he won't score. No wait, he's a retarded mongface donkey who can't get anything right so he's destined to fail again...

From what I can gather from the prospectus and introduction they gave at the uni, it's a bit of both. You get the chance to go to the States for a year as part of the course though, and seeing as I've always enjoyed going over there it was a chance I didn't want to pass up. It's a great campus, and even better for me as they have an ice hockey society and wor lass is going as well. Yeah, really liled the look of it and Nottingham in general. My sister has finished her second year there and definitely recommends it also. Provided I get the grades I aim for, I'm applying to five of: Newcastle, Exeter, Nottingham, Sussex, East Anglia, Reading and Southampton. Grades could vary though and I'm worried I might do a bit worse than hoped.

I hope to apply to Nottingham next year. Saw the university a couple of weeks ago and looks quite nice.

What do you do when your dishwasher keeps breaking down? Slap her.

I'm pleased.

I hope Brian wins tbh.

"Alleged assault" - of course it wasn't alleged. If there loads of other people there, do they not think other people might have seen it?

I am going to be applying to university next year. Not definite what I'll be studying, but I'm strongly considering politics. I don't know what grades I'll be getting for my AS levels - I hope to get an A in philosophy at least and Bs on the others but I've hashed up a couple of exams, which I'll have to resit, unfortunately after I apply though. If I apply to Durham, it will be an "optimistic" application, as their required grades for subjects I may be interested in are a bit high for me. I like what I've heard of the university though and the same applies to Newcastle. Form what I've observed so far, the two places I want to go most are Nottingham and Exeter.

Kamelot - Karma.

Source?

I like to think of myself as good at spelling too, but I only got 5/10.

There was a blackout in my street last night. But don't worry - he was arrested before he could shoot anyone.

Nope, no way, absolute rip off for 8-10 mil Add to that he's crap.