Offshore Toon

It says a lot about the West Ham team that are supposedly going to do very well next year when they're bought two of our better players, yet most of our supporters feel we replaced them with better players for less. We'll finish above West Ham next season. No doubt about it.

and you can't see N' Zogbia's left arm. Or his crotch.

Ever since then I've always really liked Barry as a player. He's a model professional.

N'Zogbia doesn't look impressed.

They're loaning him for 2 years with a possibility of signing him for £30m, I think.

Guernsey.

Jersey.

Smith just seems to be angry all the time. That's the only aspect he has to his game.

His Dad talks complete bullshit. I'd love him here if we got rid of another striker. With Carroll putting in some very good performances in the pre-season, I think we're pretty safe up front.

Fuck off. Carroll bottled it, played the ball too far in front of him, and Buffon taught him an embarassing and worthwhile lesson. Fuck off? A great comment to make before challenging a statement. Do you kiss your mother with those lips?

Gentleman or not, he should have been sent off.

It was outside the area.

The challenge was disgraceful. The ref should be banned for life for not sending him off.

Baines will improve a lot over the next few seasons.

After his performance with N'Zogbia, I kind of want Dyer to stay now. They're both running at the defence so well.

I think he's been at them for the last season. Always liked him as a player, scored an absolute screamer against ManU . Also like the fat, rat-faced fella Chelsea had on loan 2 seasons ago. Portugese lad. Maniche? He's at Atletico now. Tiago. Tiago wasn't on loan at Chelsea. Maniche was. Maniche is also fat and has a rat-face.

He's here until his contract runs out, I'd imagine.

Luque didn't seem to link-up well with other players, which is quite worrying.

Yeah, I'd love Boupa Diop. He'd be on the back of at least one of my shirts.

Shepherd really is a complete wanker. He called us a "hobby" as well. Little prick.

No I am a student. I hope I can get a job like that when I'm at Uni.

That's not bad at all. Do you have another job?

You should demand triple-pay.

Do you get double pay or something for working nights?

That's pretty damn quality.