Monkeys Fist

M Scat? Dirrrty beeatch.

Immunity is great.

So, when you discover your beautiful, sensitive, copper-haired 8yr old daughter has caught the dreaded dickies from some little skip-rat at school, Mrs.Fist reckons it's immature to back in to a corner, making a cross and hissing " Unclean! Unclean! Burn the Witch!" Obviously, I disagree.

Woah, dude! Get off of his back!

He would, if it wasn't in fucking Yorkshire

Were baked potatoes involved?

How many shares do you own in The Yorkshire Fucking Show Plc?

Look Tubs, after three or more years, has it not sunk in? No one wants to drive to Yorkshire to look at a feckin cow beauty contest. Except you. Stop it

What's the current population? Exhausting.

Up the Natalies.... Fnarr fnarr etc

Are you also Natalie Imbrogogliogliogogoliogia?

Don't be daft man, leave them at Grannies

You would say that, you're one of them

You've seen Coldsnooze three times, man. Pots and Kettles here

Ffs, do we have to do everything for you? Here you go, then

Not quite, but you're getting Whaaam.

Condolences Stevie.

It was as you'd expect with a group of excited 6yr old boys- high pitched fucking mayhem. I also played Blartwatch, unusually, the ratio of Milf:Munter mothers in his school year is about 70:30 in favour of the Milf,so birthday parties aren't all bad. (He didn't get a tank, but seemed pleased enough)

Late to the party Here you go then

I see you are still having no luck knighting me. I have the greatest respect for you, Lizzie, but Lord, you are no nearer knighting me now than four years ago when I started.

Give us a warning before you post shocks like this.

He wants to know if it comes in Batman colours?

Happy Birthday Chezette. Fist Jnr is 6 on Saturday. He's asked for a football and a tank- a real one.