Monkeys Fist

I do NOT wear or own a sovereign ring.

With you driving, change that from depressing to suicide-inducing. (Did you keep the meter running when you stopped for bait top-ups).

Just seen this racist bilge. Given my well known Romany heritage, I'll take this as evidence of your overarching cuntery. A grovelling apology will go some way to calming my ire

That has to be the most depressing journey imaginable.

Furious because the council insisted he had an HGV license.

Oof!

CT drives a maxicab, through necessity.

Just noticed this Cattle prod/taser?

And we're stuck with this for the next 5 years. https://mobile.twitter.com/David_Cameron/status/600252888624078848 5 FUCKING YEARS!

when life gives you Lemons, Party!

"LOOK AT ME!"

Button it, cunt.

Top notch @yourservice.

Only one man can save us now.

Just watched the Great Escape on 5. Got me wondering about the German actors who played in it and other War movies from the period, as to whether they'd fought in the actual war and how it felt to play "the bad guys". Turns out the bloke that played the Camp Commandant served on the Eastern Front, was captured by the Russians, escaped and walked back to Germany. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannes_Messemer Edit; he wasn't the only one- Tile Kewe, who played the guard Frick, was a Wehrmacht Para, captured in North Africa who made several escapes from camps in Colorado. http://m.imdb.com/name/nm0457929/bio?ref_=m_mn_ov_bio

" what is the main ingredient of pork scratchings?"

Scott "turn around" Parker would win.

In case anyone within a 50 mile radius of Newcastle was wondering what the blood curdling scream that just shattered their windows was, my daughter just cut her lip and saw the blood. Panic doesn't begin to describe it.

You'll never win anything with kids.