Monkeys Fist

2ndgoal -75 strikers miles offside

I'm just in the mood for some cheap drugs- I'm thinking Viagra etc. Anyone know any annoying spamming twats that can help me out?

Absolutely capital young fella me lad! I shall leave a guinea tip if the blart is of the trouser troubling standard you say. (fuck knows why, but I've come over all Victorian?)

Aye, but you need the wit to pull it off. Don't shoot the messenger, but.......

First class you say? What is the name of this Mingetastic brasserie young man? I demand it!!

Back on topic, having just seen Laz's latest FacebookFuglies post, I'm feeling soiled.

what job is it? your 16 so i'm intrigued Waiter, before you laugh, I've recieved very little training and generally feel like this is out of my depth, due to my age and inexperience. Also the fact that it's a very good brassiere with high standards and expectations and service should be quality, although I keep hearing I'm doing well, I feel the complete opposite like I'm more of a liability than a worthy addition to the team. Stick at it mate. In my experience of restaurant work( used to work as a chef), if they say you're doing well , they mean it. After a short time you'll be tapping up the waitresses and loving it. Aye, I wouldn't worry about feeling out of your depth mate, You'll soon pick it up. And if you want more training I' sure they'd rather train you up than get in a new body who they'll have to start from scratch with. unless of course you've lied about how much experience you previsously had? I was pretty much 'forced' into putting a white-lie in, which was that I had worked part-time previously in a much smaller contemporary restraurant, which I hadn't. So you could imagine someone my age facing 100 pre-booked covers, with zero experience within this sector, and feeling bad at the same time because you've lied to a sound bloke, I shit myself. Everyone in the trade lies about their experience mate. Relax, enjoy, ogle the fine lady diners

what job is it? your 16 so i'm intrigued Waiter, before you laugh, I've recieved very little training and generally feel like this is out of my depth, due to my age and inexperience. Also the fact that it's a very good brassiere with high standards and expectations and service should be quality, although I keep hearing I'm doing well, I feel the complete opposite like I'm more of a liability than a worthy addition to the team. Stick at it mate. In my experience of restaurant work( used to work as a chef), if they say you're doing well , they mean it. After a short time you'll be tapping up the waitresses and loving it.

what job is it? your 16 so i'm intrigued Collects rent?

Should have got himself a 360 degree mirror and cheered up, the miserable fucker.

The Badger is canny enough but its part of a chain iirc. There seems to be a massive shortage of independent pubs doing decent food in this region, especially in and around Newcastle and North Tyneside. Anybody got any foody recommendations? Shiremoor Farm has decent bait for a pub, beer's not too shabby either. That's my local food pub of choice but it can get really packed. It's not great for veggies either tbh (for the wife, not me). Went to the Pavillion the other day and it was poor, although it had the bonus that the waitresses apparently weren't wearing skirts. Also went to the Maggy bank before Christmas and the food was poor and massively overpriced to boot. Most the other pubs are just 2 for £8 merchants. Poor show really. True, there's not much to choose from. Next time you go up Northumberland, it's worth making a trip to The Cook and Barker at Newton-on-the-Moor. The food is superb, it has rooms if you fancy a stopover too. I can't comment on the veggie options, but if it's on par with the cooked flesh, it'll be grand Cook and Barker tinterwebs

The Badger is canny enough but its part of a chain iirc. There seems to be a massive shortage of independent pubs doing decent food in this region, especially in and around Newcastle and North Tyneside. Anybody got any foody recommendations? Shiremoor Farm has decent bait for a pub, beer's not too shabby either.

Ignore him / her....Theres no such thing as depression. Read Tony Robbins. There you go Craig, all you have to do is fill a room of your house with mirrors, then gurn at yourself all day- ffs.............. Hope things perk up for you soon. Ignore the window cleaner Craig...... Get the book, awaken the giant within (ebay a few quid or pm me your adress and I'll send you mine) think you can even download it now. Lots of sceptics but it will sort you out, guaranteed. Says Christmas Tree M.D. Back to asda tory boy, there's chavs need a lift home with their booty.

Ignore him / her....Theres no such thing as depression. Read Tony Robbins. There you go Craig, all you have to do is fill a room of your house with mirrors, then gurn at yourself all day- ffs.............. Hope things perk up for you soon.

Tit Tuesday!! Happy chimp

Not a compilation, but canny goal;free kick from inside centre circle This saved his side from relegation, against the league champions. (might want to turn the commentary down, its a gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooal type fella.)

That is a bar steward of a drive mate, what you doing up there in Beggarsville?

Sure it wasn't CT out on his "special" night?

You could have looked him in the eye RIP

Just watched 3:10 to Yuma. Not bad ,not bad.

Go to the Alps man! The Lakes on 'roids.

Daaaahling, was the Montrachet to die for? Tweedies is bog standard anyway. Still haven't got round to contacting your friends btw MF, not had time, hopefully will later in the year. No bother mate. He runs courses year round. Enjoy. Planning on taking my nipper on her first camping trip soon.

Daaaahling, was the Montrachet to die for?

Angry Pirate?