Monkeys Fist

That'll go lovely with the egg mayonaisse starters.

Fucking hell, that really takes the piss. I seriously would have refused that. She (the friend) was a strange one. Her father , at the age of 49, decided he had been adopted and was really Italian!Changed his full name from Derek Cole to Ricardo San Antonio. Half his kids took his new Italian name, the others didn't. She went Latin, but when her 1st sprog was born, she had to hide his nameband in the Hospital from her paternal grandparents as "Ricardo" hadn't told them of his Italian heritage. Fucking mentalists.

You can get em over here. They are relatively cheap too. The one I use every day makes 2cups. I bought a 6 cup version a couple of years back from Fenwicks ( I think) for under £20.

One of Mrs. Fists pals once gave us a framed , poster sized picture of her and her boys. I shit you not. It lived under the bed for 5 years, going up in the hallway whenever she was coming round( mercifully infrequent). She had a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle too! When she and Mrs. F eventually drifted, I took enormous pleasure in destroying it.

I already have- I'm bringing the Bisto.

My brother brought back me a one of those hexagonal, stove-top esspresso percolators from Italy nearly 10 years ago. Used it most mornings , still going strong. Beatifully simple, beatifully coffee.

Get in early mate. I was only in for an hour and took up Heroin to get over it.

Bitch

Bainbridges had some in this afternoon. Good luck.

In the fridge, alongside the Creme de Menthe and Chianti-in-a-basket.

He's telling porkies. He's really doing Turkey Twizzlers with Aunt Bessies frozen spuds and Batchelors Mushy Peas. Arctic Roll for pud. All washed down with Blue Nun.

He's got you a cast of his Gentlemans Relish hasn't he? I told him, it takes more than a chipolata to stuff a game bird.

Come on then SM, what's Wacky bought you?

In one of those strange coincidences, after my post about Lavazza earlier, I went into the front room and Rick Stein was on the tv visiting a farm which produces the ' Civet Shite' coffe beans. Ho - Hum.

Mackems have been around for ages. Shirley.

I made a Bread and Butter pudding made with Pannatone raisin bread the other day, delicious! I add alittle cream AND evaporated milk too.....piggy-tastic! Christmas day I will be cooking beef with red wine and redcurrant jelly gravy with roast honey and mustard parsnips, mashed swede and carrots, savoy cabbage, pigs in blankets and yorkshires oh and of course roast potatoes.....yum!! We have xmas pudding, bot normally have a light dessert like mandarins in vodka/orange jelly with meringue and clotted cream! I'm leaving Toon now- set me a place. I'll bring half a pound of Tesco Basics Cheddar for after.

Pleb.

To each and every one of you- Have very Merry Christmas and a healthy , prosperous New Year! Hope you've all been good boys & girls. Mr. Ashley- may your world crumble and your penis rot.

Lavazzo is a good strong blend. Used in lots of restaurants. You can use it in filters, esspresso percolators and cafetieres. If your using it in filter, don't be shy with it- for a full pot I put about 9 or 10 hefty spoons in.

Buy better coffee. it is decent coffee, got a packet of starbucks from morrisons and it is shite nothing like the cafe Starbucks!! There's where your going wrong mate. Try Lavazza Rossa.( dons helmet for howls of derision from coffee cognosenti) Morrisons sell it, you want the red and silver pack.

No, Paws is the guilty party I think. Obviously picked it up subconciously whilst drooling over Nigella's festive rack( for she is responsible for the semolina spuds). I swear by goose fat for top notch roasties.

Disturbing mental picture that... I'd have him back in a heartbeat atm. More chance of me banging the Queen than that happening though.

Either the perv has a dog's sense of smell, or the shelf stacker needs some wet-wipes.

wtf