Monkeys Fist

2-0 up, BDB scoring, it’s pissing down,

Goal

Oooh! VAR

Ffs offside

Whilst there’s a break in play, here’s a quick stat chart showing our play this first half.

‘Appen

Spoilers!

MIGGGGGGGGY!!!!

Trying to keep warm- soft shites.

Me dashing home for the game.

The French lads will- puffs

He’s easy to recognise - just look out for the hat. Might have a different hoover now. Edit; @Christmas Tree whatever you do, DON’T OPEN THIS AT THE MATCH. People might wonder why you’re looking at selfies…

Supplied by Trippier.

Or tune in to Newcastle Natter… … actually, no.

It’s never been held in Antarctica yet, has it? Just saying.

The British Isles, then? (Potato trigger.)

I think he should appeal this decision.

Sweet David!!!! Surely not.

Braverman already looks like a bulldog chewing wasps- if she becomes the next leader after Sunak fucks off to count his wife’s money, she’s going to look like a punched-in ringpiece sitting on the Opposition bench. Bring it on.

What they need is someone with vast PL experience, who knows their club inside out, affable and well respected, and who can roll their sleeves up, dust themselves down, and eat bacon until their fucking liver bursts.