Monkeys Fist
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Posts
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Days Won
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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist
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So you’re saying your cousin is a fanny. Must be genetic. -
And, if you can’t wear a mask, there’s visors. No reason anyone fit enough to jump up and argue at a match can’t wear one or the other.
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Can’t have been. Says the shell was 170cm long- it’d have been poking out of his mouth.
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Also, “The unsteady patient was released from hospital and is expected to make a full recovery, so long as he does not trip and fall onto any more artillery shells.”…
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“The man was a military enthusiast ” Understatement of the year.
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Especially Callum Mawson.
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Rams it up the poopchute.
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Also, slight technical point, Newcastle isn’t in China.
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Held on to a tree at the top, hung my hoop over the edge, opened the bomb bay doors, watched it drop, disappear from view, then burst out laughing as a brown circle suddenly appeared at the foot of the cliff. Minging, aye, ticked off the bucket list, aye that too. The stars were truly aligned as my firm ejecta was also the Holy Grail of shites- a ghost wipe…not a mark on the paper.
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I suppose it’s time to retell my tale of the time I took a shit off a 800-1000ft cliff? Standing/squatting , of course.
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Just to explain the toilet gymnastics, using CT’s weird babystool diagram, my knees are at 90° when laying the cable. They’re at 120-130° when I’m “standing”. Contrary to what the G-man thinks, I don’t jump up from the bog and dance around the bathroom, randomly rubbing my hoop against any handy bits of cloth.
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Semi-civilised.
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Ahem.
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Squatter. I raise my arse from the seat, allowing me better crevice access. Having thighs like Chris Hoy and a Magnum Dong, there’s not a lot of room for my equally large forearms to swill about in the festering pot. Basically, because I’m not an anorexic, hung like a Chinese mouse, my booty needs to see daylight. Clean bot? You must squat.
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On second thoughts, he’s probably stuck to the seat.
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I’m assuming he stood up to wipe, like any civilised person would.
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Your lass told me she calls it Bumblebee.
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Got to give credit where it’s due- it’s some feat to be pictured having a shit in your seat and have as many comments about your terrible haircut as the filthy act itself.
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Bookmarked.
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Why don’t you ask him… … oh wait
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The CNN article is authored by someone called Carma His family are basically doubling down on the idiocy too. Fuck ‘em.
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As long as it wasn’t his tinned piss…
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@Howmanheyman You sussed it yet?
