Monkeys Fist

Did you miss the UI out from the middle?

Sorry mate, this isn’t your Mumsnet account.

Does the hair loss extend to downstairs, because “I’ve heard from a friend” that losing the Brillo makes the old chap look larger. Every cloud, an’ that. Best of luck mate, it’s shitty that it’s happened but sounds like the odds are very much on your side.

Right, that’s it. I’m deleting Margot’s muff. Btw. “Friend” and “gang” Aye, right.

I know she’s probably still warm, but here’s Lois Lane with her Thrupennies and Growler hinging oot. Spoilered because there’s more bush than Hampton Court maze and some of the young bucks aren’t used to pubes.

Yes and yes.

Ideal scenario- drags on all summer, fails the day before the transfer window closes.

Aye, someone told him it was closer to London than Edinburgh.

I honestly think it’s 50/50 at best to go through. He’s an insurance salesman, there’s a very distinct lack of specifics around the whole thing. It’s going to go tits up. ( even if it doesn’t, though, he’s an insurance salesman. ).

I think we should we have an open training session where, after each kick, Chris Waddle walks in to view and tries to say, “Penalty”. I’d watch.

It’s not like it would take a tactical genius to run the practice session either. “ Here you go lads, fucking welly it in the corner”.

I can’t pin down why, but I have an inkling this is about to go tits up, which would be very chucklesome. Sunderland: Stewart Donald to meet with EFL executives about takeover http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44153345

We could be in for a cruel summer. I’ll get me coat.

If we get to the knockout stages, which we won’t, it’s guaranteed we’ll end up in a penalty shoot out. What advice can Exciting Gareth possibly give, beyond “ sign up with Pizza Hut lads”?

Definitely something. The top one was her first choice, pre-“ I don’t like it”. Bottom one is what I’ve spent Mon-Wed refuckingpainting!

Aye. Mind you, speaking of Uncal Mick-esque, this from another thread where they’re yet again claiming SBR was a MLF.

Lads, call 999, I think essembee has just had a stroke.

Ray Wilson: England World Cup-winning defender dies http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44140722 He probably saw Exciting Gareth’s squad and thought “ fuck it, I’m off”. RIP

RTG will be in meltdown.

He did, didn’t he, about 10-12 minutes after kick off … when we were 0-3 down. The twat used to spend most of the 1st half sat up with the jewellery-rattlers, “analysing”.

Newcastle 1-4 Fucking Portsmouth! Portsmouth!!!!!!! The useless, hippo-heeded, bung-taking, long-ball lumping, cunt.