Anth 54 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 So how do the sit downers do it? Lean forward so you can reach your arse? Or the front way getting your hand past your bollocks? Is the sit down method really practiced or is this one big joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 There is something ceremonial about standing up to wipe. It signals the end of the shit, which strikes me as just plain civilised, rather than blindly jabbing bumrag at your starfish, while cowering in the crash position and hoping for pot luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 So how do the sit downers do it? Lean forward so you can reach your arse? Or the front way getting your hand past your bollocks? Is the sit down method really practiced or is this one big joke? I've honestly never heard of it. Must be a windup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14055 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 You lean forward and to the side a bit while staying basically seated. It's honestly never occurred to me to stand up and do it. The Germans sit to piss which I still laugh about. They use tweezers to pick sweetcorn out of their shelf-toilet poo and everything. Bunch of savages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nufc4ever 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 To those who stand up, what happens if you've had a bit of a runny number? Wouldn't it just go all over your arse cheeks? Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 You lean forward and to the side a bit while staying basically seated. It's honestly never occurred to me to stand up and do it. The Germans sit to piss which I still laugh about. They use tweezers to pick sweetcorn out of their shelf-toilet poo and everything. Bunch of savages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 To those who stand up, what happens if you've had a bit of a runny number? Wouldn't it just go all over your arse cheeks? Nice. We know when we've finished shitting Dave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nufc4ever 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 To those who stand up, what happens if you've had a bit of a runny number? Wouldn't it just go all over your arse cheeks? Nice. We know when we've finished shitting Dave. I'm on about the, er, residue. You know, the reason you're even wiping in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 To those who stand up, what happens if you've had a bit of a runny number? Wouldn't it just go all over your arse cheeks? Nice. We know when we've finished shitting Dave. I'm on about the, er, residue. You know, the reason you're even wiping in the first place. A very runny one might be a case in point to follow both regimes, a quick dab while sitting and then the finish off standing. Your like a fucking lawyer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nufc4ever 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 So you have heard of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 So you have heard of it. Well in the sense I know it is predominately followed be women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wavey Davey 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I thought standing up was what you did when you were 4, shortly after shouting "MAAAAAM, WILL YOU COME AND WIPE MY BUM" - when she arrives, you stood upto give her easy access. You, sir, have access to my childhood memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Fucking hell - the thought of standing up to wipe after having the squits Dorty Feckers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anth 54 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 In a situation where your loose, and the toilet is splattered Standing up wins Hands down! Imagine sitting down, trying to fit your hand in a gap between the seat and your arse, it would be covered in rusty arse water in no time. No thanks sit downers that not for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BigThompers Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 To those who stand up, what happens if you've had a bit of a runny number? Wouldn't it just go all over your arse cheeks? Nice. We know when we've finished shitting Dave. They let it dry first then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6307 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 How the fuck do you sit down and Wipe? Truly the mark of someone doesn't mind skidders in their boxers! That's standing up shirley? You stand up, your arse cheeks smack together and it's like a kid's butterfly painting effect. Fucking rank as well if you ask me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Stand up, if you love the Toon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anth 54 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Hmmm I'm not sure like, when I stand it doesn't automatically mean I clench the ring therefore pulling the cheeks together. I'd also say that when you're sitting having a shit your cheeks arent really pulled apart that much. Putting your hand into a toilet to wipe, without much room to maneuver, with the potential to leave winnits on your arse is filthy to be honest. I bet if you checked, most of the people who died of the plague were sitters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 (edited) I've collated the results ( ) Sitters Brock Craig Dr Gloom Gejon Gemmill Glasgow Mag J69 JawD Lazarus Meenzer Nufc4ever Paddy R|co Smooth T-Keith Thompers TooJ Toontoasey Walliver Standers Alex Anth Ewerk Happy Face Holden Jimbo Khay Luckyluke Manc Parky Sammy Shinton So it seems most people do sit, but you have to look at the company you're keeping. The standers are clearly a set of thoroughly good blokes, the next step on the evolutionary ladder if you ask me. I'd hate to be associated even by wiping technique to some of the throwbacks that sit. Beasts. Edited May 28, 2008 by Happy Face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Jesus Wept Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anth 54 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Jesus Stood! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wavey Davey 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I've collated the results ( ) Sitters Brock Craig Dr Gloom Gejon Gemmill Glasgow Mag J69 JawD Lazarus Meenzer Nufc4ever Paddy R|co Smooth T-Keith Thompers TooJ Toontoasey Walliver Standers Alex Anth Ewerk Happy Face Holden Jimbo Khay Luckyluke Manc Parky Sammy Shinton Zebra Just adding to it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Alphabetical order too. Excellent work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Alphabetical order too. Excellent work I'm neat like that. I think it's a trait shared by my stand-up bretheren. The kind of people that wouldn't put their hands inside a toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13847 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Surely all the sitters wash their hands with hand wash, thoroughly? I know I do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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