luckyluke 1 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Good work HF. We few enlightened standers are kings, walking tall while the sitters wallow in their own filth. Now someone should cross reference it with the list of people who don't wash their hands after a piss and we can find, interrogate and possibly execute the double offenders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I've collated the results ( ) Sitters Brock Craig Dr Gloom Ewerk Gejon Gemmill Glasgow Mag J69 JawD Lazarus Meenzer Nufc4ever Paddy R|co Smooth T-Keith Thompers TooJ Toontoasey Walliver Standers Alex Anth Happy Face Holden Jimbo Khay Luckyluke Manc Parky Sammy Shinton So it seems most people do sit, but you have to look at the company you're keeping. The standers are clearly a set of thoroughly good blokes, the next step on the evolutionary ladder if you ask me. I'd hate to be associated even by wiping technique to some of the throwbacks that sit. Beasts. Sorry but this thread opened my eyes to the practice of sitting and wiping, I can now say that I'm a convert, I really don't know how I survived before. To be honest I thought you were moonlighting, you were dragging the team down anyway. Rectified. Rectumfied, shirley ?? Glad my name isn't mentioned in such a thread. Surely the next ten pages could be devoted to how much bog paper you use per wipe ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Recturdfied? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I've collated the results ( ) Sitters Brock Craig Dr Gloom Ewerk Gejon Gemmill Glasgow Mag J69 JawD Lazarus Meenzer Nufc4ever Paddy R|co Smooth T-Keith Thompers TooJ Toontoasey Walliver Standers Alex Anth Happy Face Holden Jimbo Khay Luckyluke Manc Parky Sammy Shinton So it seems most people do sit, but you have to look at the company you're keeping. The standers are clearly a set of thoroughly good blokes, the next step on the evolutionary ladder if you ask me. I'd hate to be associated even by wiping technique to some of the throwbacks that sit. Beasts. Sorry but this thread opened my eyes to the practice of sitting and wiping, I can now say that I'm a convert, I really don't know how I survived before. To be honest I thought you were moonlighting, you were dragging the team down anyway. Rectified. Rectumfied, shirley ?? Glad my name isn't mentioned in such a thread. Surely the next ten pages could be devoted to how much bog paper you use per wipe ?? You'd probably need to consult your carer first though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Recturdfied? That's one stool of thought, I suppose! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34461 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 They put the toilet roll down low on the wall for a reason: so that it's next to you when you come to wipe your arse. Has it never occurred to you standing up spastics that the bog roll has been rather inconveniently placed for your brand of bum-wiping? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 They put the toilet roll down low on the wall for a reason: so that it's next to you when you come to wipe your arse. Has it never occurred to you standing up spastics that the bog roll has been rather inconveniently placed for your brand of bum-wiping? That's why my skid-sheet isn't on the wall, numb-nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34461 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 They put the toilet roll down low on the wall for a reason: so that it's next to you when you come to wipe your arse. Has it never occurred to you standing up spastics that the bog roll has been rather inconveniently placed for your brand of bum-wiping? That's why my skid-sheet isn't on the wall, numb-nuts. Does that answer the question of why every public toilet in the country has it on the wall at a height where normal humans sit though? It's not my fault you haven't finished decorating your toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 They put the toilet roll down low on the wall for a reason: so that it's next to you when you come to wipe your arse. Has it never occurred to you standing up spastics that the bog roll has been rather inconveniently placed for your brand of bum-wiping? That's why my skid-sheet isn't on the wall, numb-nuts. Does that answer the question of why every public toilet in the country has it on the wall at a height where normal humans sit though? It's not my fault you haven't finished decorating your toilet. The only decorating you do in there is your underpants, you sitty arse bitch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34461 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Out of interest, Jimbo - where do you keep your bog roll? Hanging from the ceiling? Or do you have a shelf halfway up the wall for when you stand to shitty attention? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14055 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Out of interest, Jimbo - where do you keep your bog roll? Hanging from the ceiling? Or do you have a shelf halfway up the wall for when you stand to shitty attention? Leaping up to grab a sheet and smearing the poop butterfly ever wider. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BigThompers Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 A grown man, bent over, poo-clad arsehole revealed reaching backwards for toilet roll is enough to make me cringe. I'm sorry it's just calamity behaviour for an adult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magma 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 (edited) I think Jimbo keeps the bog roll next to his porn stash. Edited May 28, 2008 by Magma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34461 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Thompers is spot on btw - standing up is what you did when your mam wiped your arse. Only the thick fuckers who are still standing up weren't bright enough to realise that they were allowed to stay sat down once that stopped happening. They'd still be going round in fucking pushchairs if they hadn't been expressly told that that wasn't how adults were supposed to carry on. In fact they'd probably still be shitting in nappies half of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6306 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Jimbo's bog roll IS his porn stash.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I just can't grasp how you can give your arse a proper wiping whilst still sitting down, it's just not right. Can I just clarify that the minute I crimp off I don't automatically stand bolt upright to attention, it's more a crouching tiger number. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34461 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I just can't grasp how you can give your arse a proper wiping whilst still sitting down, it's just not right. Can I just clarify that the minute I crimp off I don't automatically stand bolt upright to attention, it's more a crouching tiger number. The Missing Link more like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6306 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I just can't grasp how you can give your arse a proper wiping whilst still sitting down, it's just not right. Can I just clarify that the minute I crimp off I don't automatically stand bolt upright to attention, it's more a crouching tiger number. You're sounding like a 'sitter' to me... HF and his motley crew apparently have their backs as straight as an arrow when wiping - not fucking right IMHO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34461 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I just can't grasp how you can give your arse a proper wiping whilst still sitting down, it's just not right. Can I just clarify that the minute I crimp off I don't automatically stand bolt upright to attention, it's more a crouching tiger number. You're sounding like a 'sitter' to me... HF and his motley crew apparently have their backs as straight as an arrow when wiping - not fucking right IMHO Trying to force bog roll between closed cheeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Out of interest, Jimbo - where do you keep your bog roll? Hanging from the ceiling? Or do you have a shelf halfway up the wall for when you stand to shitty attention? My roll is usually located on the top of my radiator so it is nice and warm for cleansing my arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 They put the toilet roll down low on the wall for a reason: so that it's next to you when you come to wipe your arse. Has it never occurred to you standing up spastics that the bog roll has been rather inconveniently placed for your brand of bum-wiping? That's why my skid-sheet isn't on the wall, numb-nuts. Does that answer the question of why every public toilet in the country has it on the wall at a height where normal humans sit though? The reason it is mounted at that height is so that you can remove an appropriate amount of paper whilst still in a sitting position whilst contemplating your upright wiping tactics, how you can you inspect the results of your wiping on your paper if you are sitting down ? do you slip your arm round the back or your arse and poke the paper through the gap between your tadger and the seat to inspect your handywork ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BigThompers Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 (edited) They put the toilet roll down low on the wall for a reason: so that it's next to you when you come to wipe your arse. Has it never occurred to you standing up spastics that the bog roll has been rather inconveniently placed for your brand of bum-wiping? That's why my skid-sheet isn't on the wall, numb-nuts. Does that answer the question of why every public toilet in the country has it on the wall at a height where normal humans sit though? The reason it is mounted at that height is so that you can remove an appropriate amount of paper whilst still in a sitting position whilst contemplating your upright wiping tactics, how you can you inspect the results of your wiping on your paper if you are sitting down ? do you slip your arm round the back or your arse and poke the paper through the gap between your tadger and the seat to inspect your handywork ? You must be a right fat cunt if there's not ample room between your arse and the back of the toilet seat for wiping Edited May 28, 2008 by BigThompers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 They put the toilet roll down low on the wall for a reason: so that it's next to you when you come to wipe your arse. Has it never occurred to you standing up spastics that the bog roll has been rather inconveniently placed for your brand of bum-wiping? That's why my skid-sheet isn't on the wall, numb-nuts. Does that answer the question of why every public toilet in the country has it on the wall at a height where normal humans sit though? The reason it is mounted at that height is so that you can remove an appropriate amount of paper whilst still in a sitting position whilst contemplating your upright wiping tactics, how you can you inspect the results of your wiping on your paper if you are sitting down ? do you slip your arm round the back or your arse and poke the paper through the gap between your tadger and the seat to inspect your handywork ? You must be a right fat cunt if there's not ample room between your arse and the back of the toilet seat for wiping Where did I say there wasn't enough room ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6306 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I just can't grasp how you can give your arse a proper wiping whilst still sitting down, it's just not right. Can I just clarify that the minute I crimp off I don't automatically stand bolt upright to attention, it's more a crouching tiger number. You're sounding like a 'sitter' to me... HF and his motley crew apparently have their backs as straight as an arrow when wiping - not fucking right IMHO Trying to force bog roll between closed cheeks. Just not normal is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 The amount of bitching in this thread by the bitch sitters is what I would imagine it to be like in the Blue Oyster when the KY machine runs dry at closing time on a Saturday night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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