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Wiping your arse


Holden McGroin
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...would you piss sitting down?

 

Would you shit standing up?

 

no. wouldn't wipe me behind standing either. wht stand to do something you can do perfectly well sitting down? and you're sitting down anyway so...why get up?

Edited by Dr Gloom
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Question for those of you that live a normal life and wipe sitting down - do you put your hand in from the front (i.e under your cock and balls) and wipe or put your hand in from the back/side for wipage?

 

You should always wipe backwards, women in particular to reduce urinary tract infections.

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Question for those of you that live a normal life and wipe sitting down - do you put your hand in from the front (i.e under your cock and balls) and wipe or put your hand in from the back/side for wipage?

 

You should always wipe backwards, women in particular to reduce urinary tract infections.

 

Or if you're manc-mag, just scrunch the bog paper up into a big ball, shove it in your crack and hope the shit sticks before strolling off laden with winnets.

 

Does everyone look at every wipe? Or just towards the end?

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Anyone putting their hands down the bog to wipe might aswell just dunk them all the way down to the poo soup at the bottom tbh. Imagine the airborne shit particles floating about. Animals.

 

Tend to wash my hands after wiping, whatever the style...

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Question for those of you that live a normal life and wipe sitting down - do you put your hand in from the front (i.e under your cock and balls) and wipe or put your hand in from the back/side for wipage?

 

You should always wipe backwards, women in particular to reduce urinary tract infections.

 

SMO maybe a bit of a cunt but he doesn't have one (unless he's hanging with wacky :unsure: )

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Im going to go for a poo in a minute.

 

Il try the Skiing technique and report back. :finger:

 

 

I am literally on the edge of my seat.

 

When it came to the wipe i just couldn't understand the need to stand up.

 

My body wouldn't let me. :unsure:

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Question for those of you that live a normal life and wipe sitting down - do you put your hand in from the front (i.e under your cock and balls) and wipe or put your hand in from the back/side for wipage?

 

You should always wipe backwards, women in particular to reduce urinary tract infections.

 

Or if you're manc-mag, just scrunch the bog paper up into a big ball, shove it in your crack and hope the shit sticks before strolling off laden with winnets.

 

Does everyone look at every wipe? Or just towards the end?

 

I look at my first as it lets me know roughly how many wipes I'm going to need. If it's a heavy batch, I'll blind wipe a few and then check again. If I think I'll be done within a few wipes I'll check each one for progress.

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:lol: @ the entire thread. Always a goldmine.

 

I'm a stander, the reasons for which are...

 

1. Purchase. With a free arm you can work the angles to really buff your ring to a sheen. I'd imagine, whichever angle I approached it from (front or back), if I was sitting down there'd be a limited space there between the rim and myself to position for the optimum wipe.

 

2. Progress. Standing up allows you to examine your work. Useful to see how healthy your 'movement' has been initially (bouyancy/consistency/colour) as well as to gauge how many more wipes are needed. If you're sitting down you must NEVER see your shit. What if you're getting bowel cancer? The first sign is blood in your stool. Sitting down to wipe could kill you! FACT! Do people who sit down pull out a shitty rag after wiping to check it then put it back in? Aren't you getting dangerously close to wiping shit all over yourself you filthy fucks? Or do you just wipe and wipe and guess when you're clean? I'd get through 4 rolls of loo roll a day if I was blind wiping. If everyone Sat down it would be an environmental catastrophe.

 

3. Facility. You don't get "butterfly" when you stand up because you keep your cheeks apart until you've wiped. So I stand up because I CAN. I can only imagine the fattest of people have the problem that when they stand up their ring is lost in the folds of fat of their flabby arse. And anyway, who the fuck starts wiping when there's half a friggin log hanging out that could possibly cause butterfly? Nip that shit off and burnish the sphincter to a shine, don't use the roll to pull shit out. Christ.

 

4. Necessity. All you sitters who're incredulous that someone would stand to do what they could sit for, are you not going to get up anyway? Having not only taken a shit, but also wiped yourself clean, are you saying you enjoy sitting on a stinky shit hole for a bit longer? Good god!

 

Fatty ballaties and Maggie Sutton's have a pass. They can do a sit down wipe with impunity, anyone else that does is a Harry Ramp. Probably the same people that get out of breath from the effort of relaxing their sphincter, so I have to listen to fucking Marathon Man when I'm in the next cubicle. Disgusting.

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I've just been and I've taken notes.

 

- I remain sitting until I'm clean.

- I always use my right hand to (hold the paper) whilst I wipe.

- I use one sheet at a time.

- Because I use my right hand, I lift my right cheek a little to give me all the extra space that I need.

- As mentioned ealier, I do check my art work. I'll have to take closer interest in how I do this next time and give you detailed findings.

- I wipe from front to back.

 

As a matter of interest, once clean I stood up to give myself an extra wipe to see what it was like. The first thing I did as I stood was clench my arse. (Not clench, perhaps, but close/tighten/whatever.) I'm glad I'd cleaned myself up by this point.

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