What mood are you in and why?

[Renton 24796]

4 hours ago, spongebob toonpants said:

Not much to add, but self-doubt and being your own harshest critic is the curse that comes with being highly intelligent and empathetic, which you plainly are. Ignorance is bliss sadly

 

Stick with it and don't be too hard on yourself

 

Just seen this.

 

@Rayvin, I'm quoting Spongey here as he is spot on. Loads of good advice from others and I'd struggle to add to it. 

What I would say though is when I was at my lowest ebb you absolutely were there for me and were a big factor in getting through it, both publicly and in your private messages. You've got remarkable empathy and compassion, but with that comes a tendency for self criticism and introspection which you 100% don't deserve. Keep going, you mention you are renting from a mate and there is a possible business opportunity with another one coming up relatively soon, so you have friends. I am sure you are much more liked and loved than you will ever credit yourself. Things will come good for you, I am sure of it. And never feel embarrassed about offloading on here, what do you young ones say..... yes, please always reach out when you are feeling down. Your darker thoughts scare me, I've been there, like you, only for fleeting moments thankfully. But that is bad enough.

[Christmas Tree 5577]

2 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

 

you were on six figures slinging sofas at DFS? 

Aye, including bonus. luckily I wasn’t  on it that long that it had become “normal” lifestyle money. 

[Monkeys Fist 46832]

@Rayvin

Not much more I can add that hasn’t been said , but keep your chin up mate. 

I went through the wringer career-wise and financially a few years back thanks to my cunt former partner, but it made me realise that money is not the be-all and end-all. 
Get yourself down to your local climbing wall, it’s a great way to de-stress, superb exercise and the blart is usually top notch 

[Blastronaut 1375]

Hey @Rayvin, you've already got great replies from pretty much everyone here. I'm just jumping in to say it sounds like we're roughly similar ages and I can categorically tell you you have absolutely not failed at life and have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. 

 

You were so fucking close to reaching your goal, and it must be devastating to have to write that off for now and use those savings as a safety net, but you can get back there. 

 

You mentioned that a lot of your friends or peers all have their own houses, partners and kids. I'd bet my left testicle most of them have gone through (or are going through) long periods of uncertainty and felt the same way you do now. And I'll bet my right testicle that some of the ones who look like they've got it all worked out and are just cruising through life are actually fucking miserable. 

 

People who judge you on your employment status, job title, relationship status, or stuff like whether or not you own your own home are miserable cunts. Don't judge yourself on their standards. 

 

[Rayvin 6648]

7 minutes ago, Blastronaut said:

Hey @Rayvin, you've already got great replies from pretty much everyone here. I'm just jumping in to say it sounds like we're roughly similar ages and I can categorically tell you you have absolutely not failed at life and have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. 

 

You were so fucking close to reaching your goal, and it must be devastating to have to write that off for now and use those savings as a safety net, but you can get back there. 

 

You mentioned that a lot of your friends or peers all have their own houses, partners and kids. I'd bet my left testicle most of them have gone through (or are going through) long periods of uncertainty and felt the same way you do now. And I'll bet my right testicle that some of the ones who look like they've got it all worked out and are just cruising through life are actually fucking miserable. 

 

People who judge you on your employment status, job title, relationship status, or stuff like whether or not you own your own home are miserable cunts. Don't judge yourself on their standards. 

 

 

I appreciate that man, thanks. Though I will say, I do actually hope my friends are as happy as they seem to be. Aside from not wanting to pull anyone down, it gives me some hope in the end. But you're right, we all go through things. I dunno, at least I'm fortunate with having good people around me, this board very much included.

[Renton 24796]

1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

the blart is usually top notch 

 

Oh aye, now it becomes clear.

 

"Erm, you lead and I'll second love"

 

 

"And while your ahead, can you remove that annoying gettyimages watermark from your arse love, cheers 👍"

 

YOU DISGUST ME.

[PaddockLad 19992]

@Rayvin

 

Sounds to me like you’ve made perfectly logical choices at the time and are now probably paying the price for the industry you’re in changing in ways that were completely unforseeable. Trying to sound as unpatronising as possible but that mate is just life.

 

When the entire world when tits up in 2007-09ish I really struggled to find work, I was completely unprepared for it as I was, in a game that is very cliquey, just about the most “unclubbable” cunt that you’d come across. It’s not that I wasn’t  “a nice guy” it’s just I didn’t play games with people, am not two faced and I tell people the truth (with monotonous regularity some would  say) So some people would say all that is admirable but in reality it was naive as fuck; did it help me get work? Did it fuck (I wasn’t the only one, but there were groups of lads in work that I was friendly with that all had better mates/better contacts at management level) On a brighter note, that was also around the time I came across this board so my life has been even fuckin worse since then  😆 I eventually hid out the next 4/5 years in the RN shipyard in Portsmouth, eventually doing a bullshit QC desk job which I wasn’t cut out for but paid a ludicrous amount of money… I didn’t plan any of that, it all just happened.  And what you’re describing is “just happening” to you. Obviously, your way out of what you’re describing may well “just happen” too…although it goes without saying people such as yourself don’t leave things as much to chance as I have in my life; educated professionals such as yourself have definite plans and ambitions; that is something that I should’ve changed when I was a lot younger than I am now, and it’s fair to say I’m still trying to work out what to do with my life even now in my mid 50s ☺️

 

All joking aside you’re just not ahead in life at the moment, sometimes folk are and sometimes folk aren’t. That is the nature of it. I’ve been ahead for years but this year has been very challenging indeed due to my wife pretty much having a breakdown in the new year; it was mostly brought on by the grief of us having to put our dog down due to it’s deteriorating behaviour (ie biting). She couldn’t stop bursting into tears, she works at a solicitors so it wasn’t good (they’ve been very supportive tbf) She was off work all of January and February. She went back gradually and is now back full time but she didn’t go in Monday and Tuesday last week as she’d been trying to ween herself off the anti depressants she’d been prescribed and had a drop in mood. So it’s still one day at a time but it she is a lot better and we’re off to my neice’s wedding on Saturday in North Berwick so we’re both really looking forward to that. 
 

So now I’m going to close my copy of “THE BIG BOOK OF BULLSHIT CLICHES” and fuck off to bed but remember…. Sometimes you’re ahead and sometimes you’re not… 

Edited 17 hours ago by PaddockLad

[aimaad22 5077]

I cant think of many people who would have navigated this downturn as well as you have Rayvin, in terms of still managing to get by and opening up new avenues for yourself in a brutal market. That's not to say what you're feeling is invalid of course, it must be gut wrenching having to go through it.

 

I agree with what MF said (not the stone climbing blart), but as much as things like houses and careers are important to us in the grand scheme of things they dont define us. Getting through life without being a major cunt to others is unfortuantely rare and I suspect you are particularly good at it.  Having said that the frustration of these problems is very real and I hope something goes your way very soon.

 

A few years ago when I was stuck in terrible job in Dubai I couldn't leave, I'd apply to new listings every day desperately. Went on for almost 3 years, tons of interviews no luck. Eventually I got absolutely sick and resigned for the sake of my health, and believe it or not during my 30 day notice a recruiter reached out, I had one interview and got offered a job paying 40% more . I was delighted but also furious that this couldnt happen a year or two sooner. Life is just fickle and often doesnt make sense, but ride it out long enough and I'm positive something will go your way. Having mates to vent it out with regularly over a beer (non alcoholic preferably ) or something is absolutely crucial too.  

 

 

 

Edited 17 hours ago by aimaad22

[Monkeys Fist 46832]

@PaddockLad

Sorry to hear about the current Mrs. PL’s problems mate, and I fully agree with the gist of your post- sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re not. 

[Monkeys Fist 46832]

1 hour ago, Renton said:

 

Oh aye, now it becomes clear.

 

"Erm, you lead and I'll second love"

 

 

"And while your ahead, can you remove that annoying gettyimages watermark from your arse love, cheers 👍"

 

YOU DISGUST ME.

When I was a youth and working at the Calvert Trust, we had a lass turn up as an instructor that was married to a local TV news presenter- she was fit as fuck, proper flirty, and soon made it clear that her bones were there to be jumped. 
She wanted me to teach her how to climb, which I (correctly) saw as an opportunity to get ahead in the bone-jumping queue, and I took her out to a crag that had a lot of chimney routes- basically ones that meant your legs were splayed on either side of the route, and poor old me would be forced to get an eyeful as she made her way up 

 

I was 18 at the time, she would’ve been 26-27 I guess, and she had me sussed straight away, but didn’t mind in the least. 
 

It would be ungentllemanly of me to say whether bones were in fact jumped that day, but I can say that I have fond memories of a certain lay by near West Woodburn 

 

She and the newsreader husband split not long after, and he married his co-presenter who he’d been getting stuck in to on the side, so I have no guilt whatsoever about “teaching climbing” to his then Mrs. 

[RobinRobin 13131]

1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

When I was a youth and working at the Calvert Trust, we had a lass turn up as an instructor that was married to a local TV news presenter- she was fit as fuck, proper flirty, and soon made it clear that her bones were there to be jumped. 
She wanted me to teach her how to climb, which I (correctly) saw as an opportunity to get ahead in the bone-jumping queue, and I took her out to a crag that had a lot of chimney routes- basically ones that meant your legs were splayed on either side of the route, and poor old me would be forced to get an eyeful as she made her way up 

 

I was 18 at the time, she would’ve been 26-27 I guess, and she had me sussed straight away, but didn’t mind in the least. 
 

It would be ungentllemanly of me to say whether bones were in fact jumped that day, but I can say that I have fond memories of a certain lay by near West Woodburn 

 

She and the newsreader husband split not long after, and he married his co-presenter who he’d been getting stuck in to on the side, so I have no guilt whatsoever about “teaching climbing” to his then Mrs. 

Why are none of us remotely surprised. 🙂 

[RobinRobin 13131]

@Rayvin Bit late but I just wanted to agree with pretty much everything that's been said (apart from @Christmas Tree  and @Monkeys Fist contributions).

Hang in there and keep coming here to vent. Someone has usually got sensible advice (apart from @Christmas Tree  and @Monkeys Fist obviously). 

🙂 

[Gemmill 53567]

Here PL, I'm really sorry to hear about your wife's troubles this year. Hopefully time will help. Awful to hear she's struggling though and I hope things get better soon. 

[RobinRobin 13131]

@PaddockLad

Sorry for what your wife's going through. Hope she's feeling better soon but it's shite losing a pet in whom you've put so much love and attention. 

Have you got a colour in version of that book for a resident of Boldon? 🙂 

[ewerk 34745]

6 hours ago, PaddockLad said:

 

So now I’m going to close my copy of “THE BIG BOOK OF BULLSHIT CLICHES” and fuck off to bed but remember…. Sometimes you’re ahead and sometimes you’re not… 

And just to extend your bullshit cliche, ‘the race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself’ [\Baz Luhrmann]
 

I hope your wife is through the worst of it, PL.

[Ayatollah Hermione 15332]

Hope everyone’s situations pick up soon, even if I’m late to reading about them all.

 

Rayvin, it took me a good 6-8 months of navigating the job market before I found something decent and I wasn’t looking in a role that had anywhere near the job specs you’re looking at. It’s a massively frustrating experience so I absolutely sympathise with you on it but you can’t beat yourself up over it. Hope you feel a bit better for chatting about it.

 

PL, awful news about the missus but glad it appears that she’s on the upward turn. Going away for something like a wedding or a weekend away can do the world of good sometimes. Glad that her graft was OK with it all too. I can tell you now that if anyone at my place went through similar, they’d be shafted as soon as they came back to work.

[PaddockLad 19992]

12 minutes ago, ewerk said:

And just to extend your bullshit cliche, ‘the race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself’ [\Baz Luhrmann]
 

I hope your wife is through the worst of it, PL.

Cheers. That’s precisely where I get all that bullshit from. Oh and wear sunscreen

Edited 11 hours ago by PaddockLad

[Dr Gloom 24537]

8 hours ago, Rayvin said:

 

I appreciate that man, thanks. Though I will say, I do actually hope my friends are as happy as they seem to be. Aside from not wanting to pull anyone down, it gives me some hope in the end. But you're right, we all go through things. I dunno, at least I'm fortunate with having good people around me, this board very much included.

I guarantee they’re not - particularly if they have a wife and kids  

[Howmanheyman 38493]

Hope the almost semi-virtually-permanent Mrs PL is on the road to recovery, Rob.  I've had at least two jobs for life which considering where I started the journey as just about the most naive, stupid teenager to leave school with the barest of bare GCSEs was a massive result, a bit of luck and a bit of hard graft the hard way through my own initial naivety. Sometimes it's hard getting out of it, sometimes, even when you sort it out but you know it's not right it can also be dispiriting, 2024 was a mental year job wise where I was very fortunate to have a decent lumpa from redundancy and a new official status as carer that allowed me the good fortune of sucking it and seeing if you like plus a knowledge I had time on my side if it didn't work out to not do what I'd done for years, sometimes unhappily. My last job was at a factory in December, in team valley, getting up at 4.40 one week out of two, quite a few foreigners, (nothing wrong with that in itself but tells you that people dont like the job much), then I discovered I could go part time through the wife's claim for a UC payment we could've had years ago. In between Christmas and new year a job pops up on my doorstep, I apply, get it, it's a totally different job to my usual, is usually a piece of piss with little stress and I've been there since early march whilst waiting for a DBS to come through. Things can change in a day but they usually don't and it's hard when you're in it. As PL rightly says, sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're not but the logical part of your brain will know this as much as the worry part of your brain will go into worry mode and they're both correct and doing their jobs. 

[Dr Gloom 24537]

@PaddockLad just read your post. sorry to hear the news about your other half. my mrs went through similar during the pandemic. she's still on the happy pills today and if her experience is anything to go by, your wife doesn't necessarily need to come off them. they've been genuinely transformative for my wife and help keep her "balanced" several years later. i wish your mrs all the best navigating this period. it can feel pretty hopeless when you're going through something like that - it's not easy to know what to do or say as a spouse either. 

[Andrew 5675]

I'm glad Ewerk had a nice day the other day.

[Howmanheyman 38493]

2 minutes ago, Andrew said:

I'm glad Ewerk had a nice day the other day.

 

He did but suffered a temporary blindness for a day. 

[The Fish 11502]

2 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

He did but suffered a temporary blindness for a day. 

 

What a wanker

[Christmas Tree 5577]

14 hours ago, PaddockLad said:

@Rayvin

 

Sounds to me like you’ve made perfectly logical choices at the time and are now probably paying the price for the industry you’re in changing in ways that were completely unforseeable. Trying to sound as unpatronising as possible but that mate is just life.

 

When the entire world when tits up in 2007-09ish I really struggled to find work, I was completely unprepared for it as I was, in a game that is very cliquey, just about the most “unclubbable” cunt that you’d come across. It’s not that I wasn’t  “a nice guy” it’s just I didn’t play games with people, am not two faced and I tell people the truth (with monotonous regularity some would  say) So some people would say all that is admirable but in reality it was naive as fuck; did it help me get work? Did it fuck (I wasn’t the only one, but there were groups of lads in work that I was friendly with that all had better mates/better contacts at management level) On a brighter note, that was also around the time I came across this board so my life has been even fuckin worse since then  😆 I eventually hid out the next 4/5 years in the RN shipyard in Portsmouth, eventually doing a bullshit QC desk job which I wasn’t cut out for but paid a ludicrous amount of money… I didn’t plan any of that, it all just happened.  And what you’re describing is “just happening” to you. Obviously, your way out of what you’re describing may well “just happen” too…although it goes without saying people such as yourself don’t leave things as much to chance as I have in my life; educated professionals such as yourself have definite plans and ambitions; that is something that I should’ve changed when I was a lot younger than I am now, and it’s fair to say I’m still trying to work out what to do with my life even now in my mid 50s ☺️

we’re off to my neice’s wedding on Saturday in North Berwick so we’re both really looking forward to that. 
 

Marshall meadows?

[PaddockLad 19992]

11 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:

Marshall meadows?