wykikitoon 17256 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 The replies of the GIF's make me laugh more than the jokes tbh 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20232 Posted December 13, 2023 Author Share Posted December 13, 2023 20 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Since it’s been Christmas for the last two months, time to roll out a festive classic… David Bowie bumps in to Bing Crosby in heaven, and suggests they sing Little Drummer Boy for the angels and shit. Bing says ” I’d love to David, but I’m having trouble with my inflatable arsehole I had fitted just before I died” Bowie says ” No worries Bing I’ve got just the thing!” BC - “ A rubber bum pump?” DB - “ A rubber bum pump!” Both- “ A rubber bum pump”. Thank you and get fucked. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9624 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 1 hour ago, Dazzler said: 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: Leave him alone. That's much better than usual. 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wardi 106 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 My grandparents always enjoy lifting their spirits at Christmas. Last year they lifted them from Sainsburys. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 6130 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 3 minutes ago, Wardi said: My grandparents always enjoy lifting their spirits at Christmas. Last year they lifted them from Sainsburys. This one made me want to lift my spirit....from my body 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 17256 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 11 minutes ago, Wardi said: My grandparents always enjoy lifting their spirits at Christmas. Last year they lifted them from Sainsburys. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27879 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 On 12/12/2023 at 12:52, Monkeys Fist said: Since it’s been Christmas for the last two months, time to roll out a festive classic… David Bowie bumps in to Bing Crosby in heaven, and suggests they sing Little Drummer Boy for the angels and shit. Bing says ” I’d love to David, but I’m having trouble with my inflatable arsehole I had fitted just before I died” Bowie says ” No worries Bing I’ve got just the thing!” BC - “ A rubber bum pump?” DB - “ A rubber bum pump!” Both- “ A rubber bum pump”. Thank you and get fucked. You've absolutely slaughtered my joke there, MF. Slaughtered. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39248 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 Your joke???? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 17256 Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 I saw a stripper taking drugs earlier "Smoking crack?" "Yeah and her tits were pretty good too" 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9624 Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 3 hours ago, wykikitoon said: I saw a stripper taking drugs earlier "Smoking crack?" "Yeah and her tits were pretty good too" I take it back 😡 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39248 Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 4 hours ago, wykikitoon said: I saw a stripper taking drugs earlier "Smoking crack?" "Yeah and her tits were pretty good too" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrBass 2353 Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 5 hours ago, wykikitoon said: I saw a stripper taking drugs earlier "Smoking crack?" "Yeah and her tits were pretty good too" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 6130 Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 7 hours ago, wykikitoon said: I saw a stripper taking drugs earlier "Smoking crack?" "Yeah and her tits were pretty good too" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2292 Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 “Daddy, I had my first sexual experience today” “That’s great, son. Sit down and tell me all about it.” “Sorry, I can’t!” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 6130 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 12 hours ago, Tdansmith said: “Daddy, I had my first sexual experience today” “That’s great, son. Sit down and tell me all about it.” “Sorry, I can’t!” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9311 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 18 hours ago, Tdansmith said: “Daddy, I had my first sexual experience today” “That’s great, son. Sit down and tell me all about it.” “Sorry, I can’t!” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2292 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 A Scotsman & his wife walked past a new restaurant. "Did you smell that food" she asked "It smells incredible" Being a kind hearted Scotsman he thought what the hell i'll treat her So they walked past it again. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27879 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 Just now, Tdansmith said: A Scotsman & his wife walked past a new restaurant. "Did you smell that food" she asked "It smells incredible" Being a kind hearted Scotsman he thought what the hell i'll treat her So they walked past it again. And here's that joke in it's original form.... 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2292 Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 Not many people are called Lance these days. But in medieval times, people were called Lance a lot. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2292 Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 A taxi passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, goes up on the footpath, and stops centimeters from a shop window. For a second, everything goes quiet in the cab, then the driver says, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!” The passenger apologizes and says, "I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replies, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 10177 Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 36061 Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 "a funeral van" 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3311 Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 1 hour ago, Tdansmith said: A taxi passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, goes up on the footpath, and stops centimeters from a shop window. For a second, everything goes quiet in the cab, then the driver says, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!” The passenger apologizes and says, "I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replies, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.” So you’ve never heard of a hearse? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39248 Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 8 minutes ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said: So you’ve never heard of a hearse? Is it wan o’ yon coo-looking hings? Nae horns? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 6130 Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 On 17/12/2023 at 11:10, Tdansmith said: A taxi passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, goes up on the footpath, and stops centimeters from a shop window. For a second, everything goes quiet in the cab, then the driver says, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!” The passenger apologizes and says, "I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replies, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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