wykikitoon 17332 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 On 14/05/2024 at 20:04, Monkeys Fist said: Past three nights as I’ve taken the mutt out for his evening shite, there’s been a bloke sitting under the same street light, dressed top-to-toe in hi viz gear, deep in thought. I finally cracked tonight when he was there again and asked him what he was doing? He said “ Just reflecting, mate”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2296 Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus, and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: “Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look at this!” He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: “Well, how was that?” The Airbus pilot answers: “Very impressive, but watch this!” The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 10 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, “Well, how was that? Confused, the jet pilot asks, “What did you do?” The AirBus pilot laughs and says: “I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry.” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 36173 Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39254 Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 Gemmill TDan 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39254 Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 18284 Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 1 minute ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27994 Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 8 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. Our survey said.... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 15016 Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 10 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2296 Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 32 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6499 Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 51 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9654 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 5 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9654 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 9 hours ago, Tdansmith said: An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus, and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: “Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look at this!” He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: “Well, how was that?” The Airbus pilot answers: “Very impressive, but watch this!” The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 10 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, “Well, how was that? Confused, the jet pilot asks, “What did you do?” The AirBus pilot laughs and says: “I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry.” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 17332 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 8 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 6190 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 36173 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Hey yo BUDDY, you want that to go?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. "*SOPRANOS OHHHHH!* The fuck is you tawkin about, fucking combat sports. The BALLS on this fucking limey ASSHOLE!" You shouldn't have made him Italian American. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 10178 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39254 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 3 hours ago, Gemmill said: You shouldn't have made him Italian American. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 6190 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 3 hours ago, Gemmill said: You shouldn't have made him Italian American. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39254 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 8 hours ago, Sonatine said: Totally stealing this , cheers. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27994 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 10 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Totally stealing this , cheers. +1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 31095 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 21 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: A new trattoria has opened near me, run by an Italian American lad from New York. We went the other night and it was excellent, but the portions were mental and we couldn’t finish even half of our dishes. The gaffer, Mario, asked ” Ho- you wanna box for them leftovers?” I said ” No mate, I don’t do combat sports”. I was in there the other night. After the main course the waiter asked if we wanted dessert. I said: what do you call it where they pour an espresso over ice cream. He said: affogato. I replied: I can’t remember either 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27994 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 16 minutes ago, Alex said: I was in there the other night. After the main course the waiter asked if we wanted dessert. I said: what do you call it where they pour an espresso over ice cream. He said: affogato. I replied: I can’t remember either 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9654 Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 8 hours ago, Alex said: I was in there the other night. After the main course the waiter asked if we wanted dessert. I said: what do you call it where they pour an espresso over ice cream. He said: affogato. I replied: I can’t remember either 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 6190 Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 14 hours ago, Alex said: I was in there the other night. After the main course the waiter asked if we wanted dessert. I said: what do you call it where they pour an espresso over ice cream. He said: affogato. I replied: I can’t remember either 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 17332 Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 Have you heard about the non-binary gold prospector? They dug up gold in them/their hills 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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