Sonatine 8357 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 14 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: I've opened a gym, where the instructors would go from door to door, to tell people about the benefits of joining it. I’ve named it Jehovah’s Fitness 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 47 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: I've opened a gym, where the instructors would go from door to door, to tell people about the benefits of joining it. I’ve named it Jehovah’s Fitness 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 Bloke walks in to a Glasgow bakers and says, ” Is that a cream bun or a meringue?” Baker says, ” No, you’re right, it’s a cream bun “ Wahey! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 19026 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 17 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Bloke walks in to a Glasgow bakers and says, ” Is that a cream bun or a meringue?” Baker says, ” No, you’re right, it’s a cream bun “ Wahey! Only ever heard that one as a Geordie bakers. (and the Elvis pet mouse joke is some age, robin robin!) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 5 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: Only ever heard that one as a Geordie bakers. (and the Elvis pet mouse joke is some age, robin robin!) Nah, this was in Greig’s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob toonpants 2573 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 (edited) 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: Bloke walks in to a Glasgow bakers and says, ” Is that a cream bun or a meringue?” Baker says, ” No, you’re right, it’s a cream bun “ Wahey! I've seen Wee Bobby Thompson perform that joke live, and it was the Queen at a garden party at Buckingham Palace asking him if he wanted a cake or a meringue Edited March 21 by spongebob toonpants 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 All throughout my childhood I was taught the alphabet only has 25 letters. I don’t know why. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5364 Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 5 hours ago, Howmanheyman said: and the Elvis pet mouse joke is some age, robin robin! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14390 Posted March 22 Author Share Posted March 22 10 hours ago, spongebob toonpants said: I've seen Wee Bobby Thompson perform that joke live, and it was the Queen at a garden party at Buckingham Palace asking him if he wanted a cake or a meringue the little waster 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 Mrs. F. once caught me doing a Callum Wilson (allegedly), and went full redhead and cut all my clothes up. Anyway, that was a few years ago and we’ve patched things up since. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 11385 Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 8 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Mrs. F. once caught me doing a Callum Wilson (allegedly), and went full redhead and cut all my clothes up. Anyway, that was a few years ago and we’ve patched things up since. I wasn't looking properly and totally thought this was a reply to the Joe Willock ripped sweater thread. Seemed a bit of out of character for you, but hey, we all do things we regret etc... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5364 Posted March 23 Share Posted March 23 Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming 🙂 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 23 Share Posted March 23 9 minutes ago, RobinRobin said: Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming 🙂 Full of fine, upstanding members? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5364 Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 21 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Full of fine, upstanding members? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Dyslexic mate of mine has acknowledged his alcoholism and joined the RAC. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 19026 Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Just now, Monkeys Fist said: Dyslexic mate of mine has acknowledged his alcoholism and joined the RAC. I've got one who went down an internet rabbit hole, joined the occult and sold his soul to Santa. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 19026 Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Same lad used to be a sex tourist, went to Bangkok, got in a taxi after getting out of the airport and told the driver to take him to the nearest warehouse. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Same bloke refused to accept he was gay. He was in Daniel. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14390 Posted March 24 Author Share Posted March 24 reminds of my dyslexic raver mate who lost the plot on the dance floor after taking one too many fs 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5364 Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 21 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: reminds of my dyslexic raver mate who lost the plot on the dance floor after taking one too many fs I know him- massive racist too. Hates gingers. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 5008 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you". "Pop" goes the weasel. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 A termite walks in to the same bar and says, ” Is the bar tender here?” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27938 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 An Italian rabbit called Pierro hops in to the same bar and asks the barman for a cheese and onion toastie and a ham toastie. He eats them, leaving a terrible mess, and leaves. Next day, same thing, “ A cheese and onion toastie, and a ham toastie per favore” Eats, leaves an awful mess, buggers off. This goes on for days, until finally the barman has had enough, and this time gives him a cheese toastie, and a ham and onion toastie. Pierro hobbles in the next day, eyes swollen, terribly ill, and collapses in front of the bar. The horrified barman asks him what happened and, with last breath, Pierro raises his head and says “ You- you mix a ma toasties!” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 8357 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 38 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: An Italian rabbit called Pierro hops in to the same bar and asks the barman for a cheese and onion toastie and a ham toastie. He eats them, leaving a terrible mess, and leaves. Next day, same thing, “ A cheese and onion toastie, and a ham toastie per favore” Eats, leaves an awful mess, buggers off. This goes on for days, until finally the barman has had enough, and this time gives him a cheese toastie, and a ham and onion toastie. Pierro hobbles in the next day, eyes swollen, terribly ill, and collapses in front of the bar. The horrified barman asks him what happened and, with last breath, Pierro raises his head and says “ You- you mix a ma toasties!” 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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