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if you heard a joke today, post it

Dr Gloom

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My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.” 

I was home in 5 minutes.


I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.

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Ancient Greek lad walks in to a tailors in Athens, holding up his torn toga. 

Tailor looks up and says 

“ Euripides ?”


Bloke nods and says 

“ Eumenides?”


Tailor nods. 

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I have a vague memory of that joke being told by someone really old school - might have been Bernie Winters or Frankie Howerd.


Possibly the latter on Up Pompeii.

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Just reading that there's a small Island off the coast of Italy with 5 million sicillion people.

That's the biggest number I've ever heard.

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