RobinRobin 7551 Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 11 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: ( I’ve translated these from the Ancient Sanskrit they were first written in). Shouldn't have bothered. Gloomy would've got there eventually 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 17667 Posted April 23 Author Share Posted April 23 My wife threatened to leave me because of my "filthy and disgusting habits". I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 33989 Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 I got a call from the police saying the wife had been in a crash and was in hospital. I asked how she was and he said “ I’m afraid she’s critical” I said, “ Aye, tell me about it mate” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 7551 Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: My wife threatened to leave me because of my "filthy and disgusting habits". I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails. 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: I got a call from the police saying the wife had been in a crash and was in hospital. I asked how she was and he said “ I’m afraid she’s critical” I said, “ Aye, tell me about it mate” 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blastronaut 1090 Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 Guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, and orders a beer. As he's drinking it the monkey jumps up in the pool table, picks up the cue ball and swallows it whole. Barman is raging, shouts at the man "did you see what your monkey just did?" Man shakes his head. "He just swallowed the cueball from the pool table!" Man replies "that doesn't surprise me, he eats nearly everything he sees", quickly finishes his drink and leaves. A week later he comes back to the same bar with the monkey, this time the monkey jumps up on the bar, finds a peanut and proceed to stick the peanut up it's arse, pull it back out and eat it. Barman is disgusted, shouts at the man "did you see what your monkey just did?" The man sighs "no, what did he do this time?" "It just stuck a peanut up it's arse, took it back out and swallowed it!" Man replies "that doesn't surprise me. He eats nearly everything he sees, but ever since the cue-ball he measures everything first" 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 33989 Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 17667 Posted April 28 Author Share Posted April 28 The wife just asked me if I had seen the dog bowl. I said no I didn’t know he could. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 7551 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 14 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: The wife just asked me if I had seen the dog bowl. I said no I didn’t know he could. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 33989 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 My mam had a stroke yesterday. She’s got really soft hands. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 7551 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 And when you thought the tone couldn't get lower I give you MF 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 33989 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 Miss Fist has asked me if I’ll do her hair Rasta style before her first festival this summer. I’m dreading it. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 8974 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 17667 Posted April 29 Author Share Posted April 29 4 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Miss Fist has asked me if I’ll do her hair Rasta style before her first festival this summer. I’m dreading it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 7551 Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Miss Fist has asked me if I’ll do her hair Rasta style before her first festival this summer. I’m dreading it. Just when things were looking up 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 33989 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 Mick Jagger is having a hike through the Scottish Highlands, when he comes across a sheep straddling a local lad, giving him gyp. Mick says, ” Hey! Ewe! Get off McCloud!” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 8974 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 22892 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 5763 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 Apparently MF has joined a local fisting group. He hopes to enlarge the circle of his friends. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 33989 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 1 minute ago, trophyshy said: Apparently MF has joined a local fisting group. He hopes to enlarge the circle of his friends. All are welcome. If you wish to contribute to the weekly meetings just put your hand up. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 7551 Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 4 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: All are welcome. If you wish to contribute to the weekly meetings just put your hand up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 17667 Posted May 2 Author Share Posted May 2 10 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: All are welcome. If you wish to contribute to the weekly meetings just put your hand up. come one, come all., it won't just make day. it'll make your hole weak 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 7551 Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: come one, come all., it won't just make day. it'll make your hole weak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 5949 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 How did Han Solo cross the road on Endor ?? Ewoked 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 33989 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 5949 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 The Norwegian navy have started putting bar codes on the sides of their ships, why you ask ? It’s so after a mission, they can Scandinavian 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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