jonasjuice 0 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Currently considering terminating my girlfriends contract, and while looking back at my previous clumsy, embarrassing or downright rude attempts at nice amicable break-ups I was wondering what stories the tt heartbreakers had to offer. Fire away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38761 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Cracking song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14585 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Wait till she's signed off from work with a decade's supply of prozac for crying uncontrolably over a passing comment her offspring may have made which made her feel utterly worthless, then go round the same night and dump her. Worked a treat, she got engaged to someone else 6 months later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38761 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I once chose the classic. Go round, shag the bejaysus out of her , then drop the bomb. Guaranteed to be final. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5908 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 If you want to break up with a lass there's literally never a good time to do it. You can guarantee her Grandad will have just died or something the day before you plan to do it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I once chose the classic. Go round, shag the bejaysus out of her , then drop the bomb. Guaranteed to be final. Done that, well at least I waited until the next day. Another girl the day after shagging her all night after she'd visited me from 90 miles away. And even better, after a blazing row erupted over facebook chat. Two days after her birthday. Which I mistook for the previous day. In my defence, two of the above were mackems. I'm lovely really, honestly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Can't go wrong with a Tweet. @Sharon #finished Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Can't go wrong with a Tweet. @Sharon #finished A new goal for me to aim for, I knew I signed up to a twitter for a reason. I may currently be with an intelligent, caring, busty nymphomaniac but it's a price I'm willing to pay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Just change your relationship status to Single on Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Just change your relationship status to Single on Facebook. And then "its complicated" a day later and then "in a relationship" again. Should about do it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMoog 0 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Just tell her it's not her, it's you and you don't want to mess her life about and you've made your mind up to concentrate on other things in your life rather than a relationship... then turn around and walk away - it's classic, it's corny and there's no come back. ... just don't get caught by the speed camera on your way home like I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TicTacWoe 0 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38761 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Done that, well at least I waited until the next day. Another girl the day after shagging her all night after she'd visited me from 90 miles away. And even better, after a blazing row erupted over facebook chat. Two days after her birthday. Which I mistook for the previous day. In my defence, two of the above were mackems. I'm lovely really, honestly. Learn from the Master , Jonasjuice, learn. Dare you to tell whilst still nuts deep. ( if you do it whilst " a la chien" it will turn into Rodeo fuck ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 ( if you do it whilst " a la chien" it will turn into Rodeo fuck ) Class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I say you stream the break up live. extra points if you can make her laugh through tears, or fit in the line "you'll be fine slugger" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26344 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Pics? That'll help us decide your approach? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38761 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19824 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Just act like a twat until she realises it's over and dumps you. I suggest going out with friends instead of her, ignorning calls and texts and actng cold around her. She'll get the message soon enough. She'll probably throw in some filthy sex in a desperate last ditch attempt to save the relationship - an added bonus plus you avoid having the awkward process of having to break it off yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38761 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I suggest going out with her friends instead of her… Fyp. By " going out" of course, we mean schtupping them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneColdStephenIreland 74 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Whenever she asks you a question just say "Aye, but where's the Carroll money gone, chum?" She'll gan fucking crackers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 4855 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Whenever she asks you a question just say "Aye, but where's the Carroll money gone, chum?" She'll gan fucking crackers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Ok, I'll be Toonraider. Its someones daughter, little girl. Be Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34461 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Ok, I'll be Toonraider. Its someones daughter, little girl. Be Nice. Aye. Try not to be an arsehole. We've all done it at some point, but it's not something you'll feel good about. Just tell her, you'll have an hour or so of tears/shouting, and then gtfo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38761 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Aye. Try not to be an arsehole. We've all done it at some point, but it's not something you'll feel good about. Just tell her, you'll have an hour or so of tears/shouting, and then gtfo. Hmm, this post, you house hunting.… There's a little Gremlin on the way, isn't there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Ok, I'll be Toonraider. Its someones daughter, little girl. Be Nice. If your daughters lad told you he wanted to finish her would you tell her for him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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