What's Currently Wrong With You

[Alex 38519]

3 hours ago, spongebob toonpants said:

Great band

Mid 90s Scottish IDM duo 

[RobinRobin 13281]

8 hours ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Absolutely dreading that some of this shit will be coming my way in my 40s  

Definitely coming my way - referral awaited  

[RobinRobin 13281]

On 29/06/2025 at 02:49, Gemmill said:

I reckon they just got one look at the captain of team handsome and thought fuck it I'm getting a look at his balls too. 

 

8 hours ago, Renton said:

 

FYP

[Kid Dynamite 8161]

12 hours ago, Renton said:

 

 he not dissimilar looking tbf

[wykikitoon 24535]

Well the person with ADHD has handed in their notice when I was off last week.  AND before you CUNTS say it's because of me.  Well, it isn't.  They're moving to Canada because their partner has got a job there. 

[PaddockLad 20270]

23 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

Well the person with ADHD has handed in their notice when I was off last week.  AND before you CUNTS say it's because of me.  Well, it isn't.  They're moving to Canada because their partner has got a job there. 

 

[Howmanheyman 39041]

29 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

Well the person with ADHD has handed in their notice when I was off last week.  AND before you CUNTS say it's because of me.  Well, it isn't.  They're moving to Canada because their partner has got a job there. 

 

Lass with ADHD: "We decided against the move in the end, my ADHD has calmed down a bit and it is a bit of an upheaval what with...."

 

Door opens:

 

"How do? Wykiki, here! I say what I like and I like what I say! ADHD did I hear you say? Sounds like a shit rock tribute band, luv!"

 

Lass with ADHD: [phones partner] "What time's the next flight, darling?"

 

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 47303]

X-Ray booked tomorrow for yay/nay on a new hip. 
 

I’ll be taking along £25 and asking if they can sort me out with a bit of medicinal green, too. 

[ewerk 35040]

I reckon if Starmer wants to sort out NHS funding then just kill off every member of TT over 45. That should sort it out.

[PaddockLad 20270]

47 minutes ago, ewerk said:

I reckon if Starmer wants to sort out NHS funding then just kill off every member of TT over 45. That should sort it out.

 

Funny you should mention that..I've got to go to the hospital a week tomorrow to see the allergy department...it's all related to my Eosinophilic asthma...basically am now suffering from chronic Urticaria (basically hives) where my body is producing huge amounts of excess histimine and it breaks out on my skin all over my body most days and most of the time. I can feel it on my face as I type this. At some point every day its fucking unbearable. So together with my monthly (self)  injection for the asthma I'm going to be doing one for the hives too. Next Weds is my instruction session with the frankly very hot indeed allergy nurse Ciara

 

The good doctor @Renton will no doubt be keen to put a figure on the cost of this course of indefinite treatment, to be added to the £12k p.a. that he told me my asthma treatment was costing the country....

 

LONG LIVE THE NHS

 

 

Edited Tuesday at 15:05 by PaddockLad

[Renton 25127]

56 minutes ago, ewerk said:

I reckon if Starmer wants to sort out NHS funding then just kill off every member of TT over 45. That should sort it out.

 

Am a fucking health economist you cunt, rationing NHS resources is my job.

 

I've said it before, the most cost effective healthcare intervention, using current cost effectiveness methodology, for old people is actually a gun. Seriously.  But we need to keep people like me to make these realisations cos you kids are thick as fuck. 👍

[Gemmill 53899]

17 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:

 

Funny you should mention that..I've got to go to the hospital a week tomorrow to see the allergy department...it's all related to my Eosinophilic asthma...basically am now suffering from chronic Urticaria (basically hives) where my body is producing huge amounts of excess histimine and it breaks out on my skin all over my body most days and most of the time. I can feel it on my face as I type this. At some point every day its fucking unbearable. So together with my monthly (self)  injection for the asthma I'm going to be doing one for the hives too. Next Weds is my instruction session with the frankly very hot indeed allergy nurse Ciara

 

The good doctor @Renton will no doubt be keen to put a figure on the cost of this course of indefinite treatment, to be added to the £12k p.a. that he told me my asthma treatment was costing the country....

 

LONG LIVE THE NHS

 

 

 

That sounds awful, hope you get sorted with this injection. 

 

Let me know if you want a referral for some of the good stuff.

 

[Renton 25127]

17 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:

 

Funny you should mention that..I've got to go to the hospital a week tomorrow to see the allergy department...it's all related to my Eosinophilic asthma...basically am now suffering from chronic Urticaria (basically hives) where my body is producing huge amounts of excess histimine and it breaks out on my skin all over my body most days and most of the time. I can feel it on my face as I type this. At some point every day its fucking unbearable. So together with my monthly (self)  injection for the asthma I'm going to be doing one for the hives too. Next Weds is my instruction session with the frankly very hot indeed allergy nurse Ciara

 

The good doctor @Renton will no doubt be keen to put a figure on the cost of this course of indefinite treatment, to be added to the £12k p.a. that he told me my asthma treatment was costing the country....

 

LONG LIVE THE NHS

 

 

 

 

Talk of the devil.

 

Toontastic, falling to bits since 2004.

 

You need this.

 

[Howmanheyman 39041]

1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

X-Ray booked tomorrow for yay/nay on a new hip. 
 

I’ll be taking along £25 and asking if they can sort me out with a bit of medicinal green, too. 

 

They might sort you with some of those blue pills if you ask nicely? 

 

@PaddockLad hope you get it sorted, doesn't sound pleasant, I keep getting the picture of the Scottish bloke in Austin Powers, now.

[Monkeys Fist 47303]

1 hour ago, PaddockLad said:

Next Weds is my instruction session with the frankly very hot indeed allergy nurse Ciara

I’m utterly convinced that there’s a secret selection process at the end of training where they put the sexy wenches in to the most embarrassing department’s and the plain Jane’s and boilers get put in the dept’s where you can keep your dignity. 
 

“ Oh, Mr. PL, your face looks like a badly topped meat feast pizza, and I see you need a prostate exam too? 
Follow Nurse Trixie Fox and she’ll utterly destroy any self esteem you once had. 
 

“ You need a foot x-Ray?
Gunhilde here will be glad to take care of you, just try not to look at her face for too long.”

 

[Toonpack 12727]

Hope it gets sorted PL, sounds fucking awfull.

 

On the bright side, it did remind me of Joanne Whalley in her prime.

 

Edited Wednesday at 05:18 by Toonpack

[Renton 25127]

2 hours ago, Toonpack said:

Hope it gets sorted PL, sounds fucking awfull.

 

On the bright side, it did remind me of Joanne Whalley in her prime.

 

 

The singing Detective is actually being remade for the 2020s....

 

[Gemmill 53899]

I'm having to make a fucking piss diary this week btw, before going in to the hospital on Friday to piss into a special toilet to see how fast I can do it.

 

It's a total waste of time as well cos this is for the poor cunts who are up in the night and who drink 1 litre and piss it out in 10 x 100ml trips to the bogs. 

 

I'm not remotely experiencing those symptoms but apparently a urology referral at 49 comes with this hurdle.

 

Anyway it's nice to have to write down the volume of every drink you have for a few days and then piss into a jug before tipping it into the toilet. Keeps you honest.

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 4523]

3 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

I'm having to make a fucking piss diary this week btw, before going in to the hospital on Friday to piss into a special toilet to see how fast I can do it.

 

It's a total waste of time as well cos this is for the poor cunts who are up in the night and who drink 1 litre and piss it out in 10 x 100ml trips to the bogs. 

 

I'm not remotely experiencing those symptoms but apparently a urology referral at 49 comes with this hurdle.

 

Anyway it's nice to have to write down the volume of every drink you have for a few days and then piss into a jug before tipping it into the toilet. Keeps you honest.

When you said piss diary I thought you meant for the Transfers thread.

[Gemmill 53899]

Wykiki looks to have started his today. Sounds like he'll need two jugs. 

[wykikitoon 24535]

I tell you what. At least we all come on here and have a laugh at ourselves or we get support when needed. Fuck me. Pissing into a jug 🤣

[Gemmill 53899]

Aye, the rule in this thread should be just to spill what's going on, and don't take the piss too much when people do. Better that people are talking about stuff and getting things checked out. 

[Renton 25127]

I had to have a 24 urine collection to check my kidney function once. They gave me this 4 litre plastic collector thing cos they needed to know the volume as well as analysing it for various things. So I kept it under my desk at the hospital, took it home, next day still 6 hours to collect. I'd been dehydrated so I was worried it was less than half full, so in the last few hours I started drinking gallons of water. But then I couldn't stop pissing. I remember just being able to stop as it was overfilling, then stumbling off to the path lab to hand it over as I grabbed my crotch to stop pissing myself.

 

Fun times. I was fine BTW, thanks for asking.

[Gemmill 53899]

It's actually taught me that I drink far too much during the day. It's cos I'm in the house by myself bored working all day, so I'll neck bottles of water and tea and coffee just as something to do to get me away from my desk. I can easily have downed 2 litres by 9am and probably 4 to 5 litres a day most days. 

[Rayvin 6730]

35 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

It's actually taught me that I drink far too much during the day. It's cos I'm in the house by myself bored working all day, so I'll neck bottles of water and tea and coffee just as something to do to get me away from my desk. I can easily have downed 2 litres by 9am and probably 4 to 5 litres a day most days. 

 

I am the literal opposite of you. I have to set alarms to remind me to take in water because if I don't I'll go through the entire day on one or two cups of tea.