The Fish 9006 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Can you imagine him in the canned food aisle with his metal detector. Swinging it violently so he can get the dented cans of chicken at a reduce price? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34563 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Ugh that is stomach turning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9006 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 'MURRICA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14059 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Imagine it served on a bed of meat-cleavered lettuce leaves and garnished with a Roman cherry tomato. Lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30442 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Canned afterbirth. Delicious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6434 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) I was run over as a two year old, well more knocked into the sky really. I landed on the bonnet of another car, the car that hit me sped off. I like to think that they think they killed me and eventually gassed themselves in the oven with crippling remorse and a dirty grill pan. Edited July 7, 2015 by trophyshy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34563 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I was run over as a two year old, well more knocked into the sky really. I landed on the bonnet of another car, the car that hit me sped off. I like to think that they think they killed me and eventually gassed themselves in the oven with crippling remorse and a dirty grill pan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14059 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I was run over as a two year old, well more knocked into the sky really. I landed on the bonnet of another car, the car that hit me sped off. I like to think that they think they killed me and eventually gassed themselves in the oven with crippling remorse and a dirty grill pan. "Sorry, no room." *buffs blood stains from taxi bonnet* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobos 297 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) Got a few, though cheating death might be a bit strong. 1. Drunk as a student, thought I'd stick my finger in a live light socket to see if it was turned on. That was nasty. 2. Got bitten by a black widow on the toe while out hiking in Canada , got a blister the size of my foot - on my foot, then once the red burning rash reached my knee I panicked and finally went to the hospital, was told I was lucky it was my toe, anywhere on the chest and I'd be in trouble. 3. Whilst hitch hiking from my campsite to the hospital from above, had a bear encounter, it was scary but not really that dangerous. 4. Whilst hiking with 2 ladies in Oz, we were ambushed and chased down by a cassowary , I remember going super calm thinking we were dead and did the bear drill with it, which half worked. Managed to inch away after it had done a few charges at us. 5. Oh, I was ran over twice in one day when I was a kid, off my bike, the custom sports car had once of those licence plates that hangs under the car, which they reckon saved me from going underneath. Edited July 7, 2015 by scoobos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6434 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 https://youtu.be/PNK2CrhADo0?t=116 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9006 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Got a few, though cheating death might be a bit strong. 1. Drunk as a student, thought I'd stick my finger in a live light socket to see if it was turned on. That was nasty. 2. Got bitten by a black widow on the toe while out hiking in Canada , got a blister the size of my foot - on my foot, then once the red burning rash reached my knee I panicked and finally went to the hospital, was told I was lucky it was my toe, anywhere on the chest and I'd be in trouble. 3. Whilst hitch hiking from my campsite to the hospital from above, had a bear encounter, it was scary but not really that dangerous. 4. Whilst hiking with 2 ladies in Oz, we were ambushed and chased down by a cassowary , I remember going super calm thinking we were dead and did the bear drill with it, which half worked. Managed to inch away after it had done a few charges at us. 5. Oh, I was ran over twice in one day when I was a kid, off my bike, the custom sports car had once of those licence plates that hangs under the car, which they reckon saved me from going underneath. Things I have learnt from this post; There are Black Widows in Canada Hiking is dangerous, best avoid it. There is a "bear drill" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobos 297 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 black widows are rare and only found in saskatchewan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30442 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I've seen a Cassowary in the wild. It didn't have the bottle to start on me though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30442 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 black widows are rare and only found in saskatchewan Used to be loads in Burradon when I was growing up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9006 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 black widows are rare and only found in saskatchewan And Detroit, Chicago, LA... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 3660 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Fell out of a tree as a kid and bounced on my face. Split eyebrow and a couple of lost teeth, but kids are indestructible. And testicular cancer at the start of this year but caught it dead early, so I was proper lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38787 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I was caught off guard once, and answered honestly when Mrs.F. asked "Does my bum look big in this?" Fucking terrifying, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38787 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 There is a "bear grylls drill" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Kelly 1117 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Things I have learnt from this post; There are Black Widows in Canada Hiking is dangerous, best avoid it. There is a "bear drill" I learned there was something scary called a cassowary. Then I googled it and found out it's a fucking bird! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 I learned there was something scary called a cassowary. Then I googled it and found out it's a fucking bird! Me too. I once took a toy off a kitten. It wasn't pleased. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38787 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Cassowary casserole. There's a fucking mouthful, literally and metaphorically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tooner 243 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 black widows are rare and only found in saskatchewan nope we have them in the office i work in, in BC. every six months we find another one under someones desk or in the boot room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19834 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 The cunt that knocked me over didn't stop to see if I was ok either. I hope whoever did it is haunted by nightmares of the day he took an innocent life for the rest of his days. Fucking low life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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