Monkeys Fist 38761 Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weefatbob 0 Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 A Penguin was driving through the desert when his car broke down. He got out and pushed it through the stifling heat till he reached a garage. The mechanic had a look at it and told the penguin to come back in an hour. The penguin went and got an ice cream to cool himself down and went back to the garage after an hour to see what the damage was. "Looks like you've blown a seal" said the mechanic. The penguin wiped his mouth and said..."No, it's ice cream !!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weefatbob 0 Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WubbleUC 0 Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 While clearing out his belongings from the house, Peter Andre hears Jordan call from the shed, 'What about this spade?' 'Fuck off!' he said, 'He's Dwight Yorke's problem, not mine!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChrisfgb 0 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Horror happend today when two mackems were knocked down in a Tesco's car park and killed. A Tesco's staement said "Every little helps". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Gary Glitter is teaching his son how to wank. The kid says ''this is great fun dad'' Gary replies ''yes it is son, and when you get to thirteen you can get to use your own cock!'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Rolf Harris is doing the artwork for Michael Jackson's concert in London. As a thankyou, Jacko will be doing Two Little Boys at the end of each show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 If Jennifer Lopez is J-lo ...anf Lindsey Lohan is Li-Lo What does that make Pete Doherty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14055 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 If Jennifer Lopez is J-lo ...anf Lindsey Lohan is Li-Lo What does that make Pete Doherty? A talentless waster? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 If Jennifer Lopez is J-lo ...anf Lindsey Lohan is Li-Lo What does that make Pete Doherty? A talentless waster? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 If Jennifer Lopez is J-lo ...anf Lindsey Lohan is Li-Lo What does that make Pete Doherty? A greasy , insipid smack rat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 The Honourable Rev John Flaps see's a lady church member getting drunk in a pub, he tries to take her home but they fall and he ends up on top of her in the bar, landlords shouts, oi you can't do that in here!" Rev replies, "You don't understand, I'm Pastor Flaps". Landlord says, "Oh well if you're that far in you may as well finish the job". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14055 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 The Honourable Rev John Flaps see's a lady church member getting drunk in a pub, he tries to take her home but they fall and he ends up on top of her in the bar, landlords shouts, oi you can't do that in here!" Rev replies, "You don't understand, I'm Pastor Flaps". Landlord says, "Oh well if you're that far in you may as well finish the job". Close friend of Father Ass O'Leater and Rabbi Hymie Dickshuge, apparently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 David Blaines record of doing fuck all in a box for 42 days has just been broken by Jade Goody! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyff 0 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 You've been waiting for that one aint ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13847 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 David Blaines record of doing fuck all in a box for 42 days has just been broken by Jade Goody! False Stat! [insert Crap Strikers name] has been doing it since August! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Take your pick from our lot really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k4t0 0 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 These mp's expenses are taking the piss. I mean how my local bnp candidate can claim £40'000 for white sheets, petrol, wooden crosses and rope is beyond me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26345 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Some random woman stopped me in the street today and started telling me a joke. It had all the ingredients of a good joke: child abuse; incestual rape; tears and suffering; but I didn't understand the punchline. Something about £2 a month? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 I used to be a necrophiliac till some rotten cunt split on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6306 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Share Posted September 9, 2009 I used to be a necrophiliac till some rotten cunt split on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I saw a scarecrow having a wank in a field today. Impossible I thought, he's just clutching at straws. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38761 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I saw a scarecrow having a wank in a field today. Impossible I thought, he's just clutching at straws. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6434 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I saw a mackem drowning the other day and reported it to the emergency services. I hope they rescued him otherwise that was a waste of a second class stamp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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