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Listen, I'm not expert on mackem phonetics. They do say mirrow though. I had some mackem lads replace my windows once, one broke and got a shard of glass in his eye cos the idiot wasn't wearing safety glasses. I was unaware, so when he asked if we had a 'mirrow' to look in it was a case if: "A mirrow!" "Mirrow marra!!!!!" Etc.....

Sold for $128k apparently

Teyk? It's fucking tak man, howay! (or ha'way - soz hard people from Sunderland. Please don't dismount your blood relatives and chin me.)

If I was the Iranian government, I'd be doing everything I could to get hold of nukes.

Sorry, teyk a look in the mirrow, marra.

Can't make my mind up if club branded-adidas originals sambas are a good thing, or a bit cheesy. Anyway, Forest have released them. £95 a pair

Some talk this morning that Forest are identifying replacements for Elanga as they expect him to join us. Raul Moro one name being put forward.

Fuck me- that’s a bit evil mate.

I'm seeing Fender on Sunday, whole family outing. I like his music without being a huge fan, I'm ambivalent about the Geordie nation stuff and won't be wearing football colours. But why people from a different city are obsessed to the extent they are is mental to me. Thousands of pages of absolute drivel repeating the same shit over and over. They call us scum, they say we are mentally ill. Honestly, they need to take a look in the mirror and see where the real problem lies.

Wykiki’s gaffer straight after speaking to the receptionist … * mutters* ” Has this new cunt never heard of über?”

Is that bloke that lives in a basement eating crème eggs and belching still about? His channel next season will be a documentary of one man’s descent in to severe depression.

Either that or they think you’re old and knackered and are worried you can’t cope with the walk.

Fucking hell they are adamant he never used to care about football or NUFC. They are fucking mental.

Nobody asked for your dick pics man. Btw, I’d go to the doc if I were you.

Second week at my new job. I am currently at their HQ which is out of Leeds. I get the train out then its about a 25 minute walk to the office. But the last couple of weeks the office manager has picked me up from the station. But today she's off. I don't mind walking at all (unless its pissing down). So just got off the train and then suddenly get a phone call from the office. I answer it, it's a lass on reception asking how I am getting from the station. I told her walking, she said she will send someone to pick me up The gaffer at my interview really did talk about 'people' and 'looking after the people in the business' etc. I didn't think it would go as far as this Such a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but really is a nice thing to do.

That’s the kind of thing that would be very easy to go back and prove Unless Fender is in the business of answering random DMs from thick as fuck mackems. Which I doubt

I heard this from Newbiggin Hall. It sounded shite. Fender, not the obviously true story about the two rock hard mackem gladiators. Praise be upon them,

Wideopen invites the lewd. Might as well have called it Fizzingattheslit.

Now that would have got him the Oscar.

We all said it tbf

We'll not be seeing him for a while. On the plus side he looked well for 81.

Where's @Gemmill? I assume he's sunning his ginger balls somewhere

Sounds like he had a decent one for the U21s last night. With a decent assist. Played LB apparently.

And then the rest of Instagram stood up and applauded

Toontastic infecting laptops again