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He was in critical care on a ventilator so I’ve no idea if he could hear us but I feel like he could. I told him it was a good job he couldn’t see the SOL out of the window like we could…

That’ll be yet another piss stain on the garden sofa then

Porn hub-helping middle-aged degenerates take afternoon naps since the Dawn of the Internet

Tbh there’s days I may as well have left my putter at home

That’s a bit harsh. At least their heart’s in the right place. He’s an unmitigated cunt.

Sorry to hear that Cath. Good that you could still have a joke with him at the end. 🙂

Went to see local lad Richard Dawson at the sage last night. Canny.

Thank you. And I’ll definitely watch it 🙂 We left the hospital just as the game was kicking off and went back to mam’s. I wouldn’t let my brother put the match on cos I felt like we’d fuck it up. He switched it on with minutes to go and Liverpool immediately scored. I’ve never seen anyone shit himself and turn a telly off quicker

Sounds like a canny weekend. Turn all the mirrors to face the wall so you don't catch a glimpse of that hair horseshoe and take the shine off it.

Cath, really sorry to hear about your dad. Awful news. And I don't know if you actually wanted to watch our match, but here it is in full on YouTube in case you ever did.

Aye, well turning up without my trolley and putter was probably the only blot on the day.

It wasn’t @Rayvin though, was it?

Very sorry for your loss Cat

Shame about the golf like!

Sort to hear Catmag. yeah, im glad Palace won as well. The shear joy of that win meant so much more to their fans than Man City. I genuinely hope we don’t ever take winning things for granted.

That’s awful. I’m so sorry for your loss, and what awful timing. Glad you were able to enjoy the match yesterday. I was pleased for Palace too - they’re my local PL club and you can’t beat an underdog story

Bear with me here, it’s going to get heavy. Some of you might have seen Dean Henderson dedicate the win yesterday to his dad who passed away at the beginning of the season. My dad died on 16 March at 3pm - an hour and a half before we played our cup final. I cried buckets yesterday for the celebrations I didn’t get to have when we won. As we sat with him before he died I joked at how shit his timing was and if he was going to fuck off and leave us he could at least go and have a word with Sir Bobby and sort a win out. I still haven’t watched our game and don’t even know if it’s still available anywhere. I’m over the moon for Palace fans - this is how football is meant to feel. Everything I couldn’t let myself feel on cup final day came out and it did me the world of good. Anyway, back to calling each other cunts please. As it should be..

"Fuck!!! It's the Triads!!!!"

Definitely got shades of “Rayvin in China”

Makes a change from the usual updates in here too!

Sounds tremendous.

Bit of a weird place to put your TV. Are you hiding from an armed intruder?

Enjoy it! Sounds like a good one indeed.

It’s shaping up to be a pretty good weekend. The wife took the kids to her parents’ caravan yesterday which means that May Day consisted of playing golf, taking an afternoon nap then out for pints with some mates. Woke up fresh as a daisy this morning so out for a massive fry up, bought some more beer on the way home and the plan is to lie on the sofa this afternoon watching three matches and sipping on aforementioned beer. Three points for us would really be the icing on a perfect cake of a weekend.

‘Here lads, you buy Lloyd Kelly for £20m and we’ll give you 5p off a litre of petrol for your silly Fiats’