Billy Castell

I reckon Owen thinks he's too good for the likes of Blackburn, Bolton, don't get me wrong, he isn't but I think he'd sooner retire then join another club that could potentially be battling for relegation (though I reckon Blackburn will be safe next year myself) Owen seems a shadow of his former self, so a Bolton or a Blackburn is probably his level. He may get his mojo again, but it looks like it'll be a long wait which would exclude Villa, Spuds or similar teams. He may go to Everton as they don't have many strikers.

If he cut his wages by 3/4, and sorted out his fitness, he may be worthy of the blue and white halves. He'd fit in well with who's apparently going to be our first signing-Andy Van Der Meyde!!!

For what its worth, Phil Thompson was pissed off you went down on SSN. He was banging on about how the Premier League will be worse without you.

as things stand right now, I reckon you'd be in the play offs. Of course there is a whole lot of transfer activity to play out, but you are the biggest fish in that pond. A lot depends on your manager wheeling and dealing whoever he is. It is a damned hard division to get out of, but I doubt you'll do a Leeds. At worst you'll be in the same position as Coventry or Ipswich.

Probably did yeah. Personally I wouldn't as he was simply orgasmic when he played for us, and I can understand why he left. He was never going to Man Utd (Jack Walker would never have sanctioned that move), so he went to the second best team, and that team was his hometown team he supported. I think those who were singing "Cheer up Alan Shearer" are ungrateful, bitter tossers. Don't shoot the messanger

Hard luck guys for having a twat as a chairman and a sack of cunts on the pitch. For your sake, I hope you have a biblical exodus and start afresh. Having said that, I'd not welcome Alan Smith and Joey Barton at Ewood Park thank you. It's a bigger shame Spurs weren't joining you.

There should be a loud collective 'Awoooga' from you if you stay up.

"Which ones Alan Shearer......" Or.... Kinnear: Alan the useless cunt got us relegated, and I want my fucking job back.

He should be a star with a name like Nile Ranger. Nearly as good as Danny Invincible or Jermaine McSporran.

Kinnear: Relegation is fucking shit.

Yeah, it really didn't work out, but then things have really got worse for you. I nearly fell over laughing when JFK was installed, I'd completely forgotten he existed. It'll be interesting to see who takes up the challenge next season. I think Alan will stay whatever happens tomorrow. The worst manager related news for you would be the return of JFK. Or you hire Paul Ince and Ray Mathias.

As I have said before Tom, Derbyshire went on loan when Roberts was fit, and RSC was more or less fit. They both got injured after the window closed and Derbyshire had gone. So that leaves us with McCarthy as the only recognised striker, and Diouf being used on the right wing. And to be honest the football has been OK, apart from the Stoke and Liverpool games. We also have had a shoddy midfield whose best player was probably a 38 year old smoker. I don't care too much about the quality this season after the nuclear disaster that was Paul "guv'nor" Ince. He tried pretty football, but the players were badly organised and our defence was shambolic. Sam really did rescue Blackburn, and we are not too anal about the style of football unlike Geordie fans or Spurs fans.

I like Resivoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, but Kill Bill was wank. Looked nice, good soundtrack, but its all too pedantic, overblown and waffly. For example the bit with Mr. Madsen being bitten by the snake and the one eyed blonde bird. She should get on with it all, and not just sit down and bang on about Black Mamba poison. Or the end when she finally reaches Bill. Stop having a chat about Sodium Pentoate and have an almighty punch up or something. Every scene was dragged out and filled to the brim with boring monologues.

Thanks Canofbeans. They are fucking great.

I've only just recovered my composure enough to type. That is so funny. The links have all said the stories have been removed, but the bits you've all recovered have had me on the floor. I remember my friends did something similar with Star Trek when we were 16. I'd have revised for GCSE English Lit if I had to read these instead of the awful I'm The King of the Castle by Susan Hill.

People using the word 'ironical' The creeping Americanisation of English. You use a fucking S not a Z in words like organisation, colour has a U in it, they are called biscuits and we do not raise children. Fucking scousers. They think they are some special case all the time, that they are funnier than the rest, and they are victims all the time. Americans criticising British food and our looks. And what have you brought to the world of food you semi-literate bunch of morons? Hamburgers, shit weak beer and cheese that comes out of a fucking spray can. CHEESE FROM A SPRAY CAN! IT IS AGAINST PHYSICS AND NATURE TO DO THAT. As for our looks, sure we may not spend £30,000 getting our teeth perfect, but have you watched any of those shows like Ricki Lake? Fat ugly black people or inbred hillbillies chatting shit. The jobcentre website. They do not vet the job adverts, and it is just ugly. I went for a 'leaflet distributor' when I was unemployed for a few months, as it was £250 per week. It was nothing of the sort, a completely different job. I was training to be one of those wankers who knock on your door to get you to buy double glazing, and the fucking £250 was all commission based. I could have £40, I could have £4,000. It was that company that does those ads with that northern cunt shouting "buy these winders NOW!", and everyone who worked there were grade A wideboy Spivs. Irritatingly happy people, who look like they are auditioning for a Friends remake. I hate these people being happy at me, I want to tell them their parents have died, and their cat has been raped. Pple who use txt spk on msg brds like this when their is no chrctr limit.

I only go to see films with eviscerated talking foxes to be honest. Every film should have disemboweled wildlife in it.

Is that the one with Sean Penn, or the Walter Von Herzog documentary about the loon who hung out with Grizzly Bears? I liked that Australian film with Ray Winstone in it as a policeman trying to keep order by setting one brother against his other brothers. It is called The Choice, The Decision or something like that. Nick Cave did the music and may have done the screenplay as well.

1. The word 'Moreish' 2. All that false, fashionable 'depression' teenagers used to put on to look cool. 3. Female Labour MPs. Smug, patronising shitbags. 4. Female singers who sing through their noses (e.g. Rihanna) or over emote every sylibal (e.g Leona Lewis, Mariah Carey)

Crap like this happens I'm afraid. Jermaine Defoe put in a request the morning after West Ham got relegated, and I'm sure it happened to Blackburn.

I'm excited and relieved. As a neutral, I can't wait for the drama to unfold (sorry), but I am relieved as we are not involved. We'd already be relegated if Paul Ince was still at my club. On an unrelated note, SSN had something about Sunderland and interviewed a male manicurist at a hairdressers in an old style Sunderland shirt. Check out the comedy hair and eyebrows.

That'll be the only table Blackburn will ever be second in. By the way, next season our season tickets will be £199.

For what its worth I was fucked off when you took him from us on the cheap. We should have sold Flowers and made Shay our No. 1 keeper. From what little I know of Sereni, he was once seen as a potential star, but has developed into a bit of a journeyman that would find his level at a middle of the road 1st division team.