Howmanheyman

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Where am I this matchday? Newcastle upon Tyne; Have a few pints before the game and a bit of craic before leaving to get into the ground, have a few afterwards in a packed city centre bar Italia; Go to the game 3 hours early with megaphone and help put banners up, riot with police afterwards in a stand off or in the event of a historic victory for your club jump into a small Fiat with your friends and circumnavigate any roundabout or public monument for about an hour tooting your horn whilst your mates wave flags out of a wound down window. USA; Drive in a huge vehicle to the game 3 hours early, get the beers and food out and have a BBQ in the park, go to the game and spend all the time going down for some more lite beers and food, (lets be honest, you're missing fuck all on the pitch), spend half time/quarter time watching some entertainer singing on the pitch as USAF jet fighters fly over the stadium. London/Birmingham; Have a quick pint before the game if you've got time, watch game, rush home with five minutes before time to be able to phone Alan Green or Stan Collymore, (whichever one you can get on), to tell him your thoughts on the game as he interrupts you and doesn't listen whilst shaking his head and mouthing 'next' to his producer.

Sounds daft but he looked liked he'd been plucked straight from 1941, I don't know what he would've worn on a night out but I bet it was shit. As a player he was average on a good day and then only for a division two player.

I think Ossie or Jim Smith bought Peacock from Bournemouth for about £100K and sent Wayne Fereday the other way as part of the deal, I think Redknapp might have been their manager at the time, if so it wasn't the best bit of wheeling and dealing T'riffic 'Arry ever did!

You first. Hey I had my piccy on here for years! You guys first !! I haven't been on here for years! Yes I have since 2005, more or less the beginning of this forum! I've a pic on here somewhere, two in fact! I've fulfilled my side of the bargain.

You first. Hey I had my piccy on here for years! You guys first !! I haven't been on here for years!

You first.

It's a fucking knocking bet he'll join Souness on SKY to talk about their favourite subject.......us.

His job was safe as houses until he asked the Chairman for £6M to buy Alan Smith.

Mourinho fucking shitting himself right now, Benitez's hand shaking like an alcoholics as he lights up his ninth tab in the twenty or so minutes since he found out Big Sam has left Ewood Park.

It'll be the fans agitating for Keegan or Shearer. Happens every time, man.

I tell you what, I read about 20 pages on a Liverpool forum thread about the game and if our fans came out with even 20% of the stuff they wrote about Woy, Liverpool Football Club, (it's never just 'Liverpool') and the fact they should be beating shitty teams like Newcastle United we'd get fucking slaughtered. You'd think they were beaten by a 3rd division club the way they're going on. The vast majority seem to want him sacked ASAP, in fact it looks they're hounding him out, who'd have thought it possible?

Is that them two little blonde shits who always get up to mischief? My son watches it and another one they're in where their mother is a right sort. Got a nice chassis on her for her age. I'd be straight up her back wheel. Horrid Henry is probably the only one I'll pay any attention to when it's on. Not got a patch on Plastic Man which aired through my youth. Maybe I'm showing my age there though. Aye, that sounds like them, the Mother isn't on it much that I've seen, though. There's a teacher on it who's pretty fit and dirty. (I've kind've imagined that last bit.) The two blonde lads with their fucking American patented basin haircuts are just horrible to watch. If there's any justice in this World they'll get twatted off their peers in real life.

Has anyone actually watched Hannah Montanah*? Fuck me it's so bad it's untrue, My eldest daughter likes it and a few other programmes on that Disney channel, (Suite life with zac and cody, wizards of waverley place and so random). Honestly, Disney must use the same teenage actors as they same to chop and change programmes, and the kids they've got should've been strangled at birth, especially Zac and Cody. Don't know what it is about American kids on the telly but they're fucking hideous. I just noticed the other day there's no kids telly on the BBC now at teatime. Our kids are being brainwashed by the Yanks I'm telling ya!!! *I saw her sing 'Rockin' around the Christmas tree' and it has to be one of the most painful things my ears have ever heard, even the bairn said it didn't sound right as she's actually heard the real version.

Most of the reasons are given already on here for our lower crowds but you've always got to look at the opposition crowds as well as certain circumstances, we actually bucked the trend by getting lower crowds post Italia '90 after the boom in football started to take off, however, crowds around the country were fucking terrible and couldn't get much worse, we were at our lowest ebb as a club but still kept the hardcore, believe me what we were getting attendence wise at our lowest point in our history, top league clubs were struggling to get, Anyone on here remember Paul Goddard getting the winner at Highbury? Well he scored it in front of 19,000. The likes of Villa and Everton were getting average gates of around 15,000 in the top league and in Everton's case almost doubled it when they won the title the next year, (Still only got 32,000, mind). People always pick out the 1990-91 season when they have a pop at our gates, well given our recent history, getting three sub 20,000 average gates since the turn of the last century isn't too bad especially when you look at the gates of other more successful and higher placed clubs.

A pale imitation of the real Action Man with eagle eyes, a scar and some proper fucking Nazi gear with the Schmeiser machine gun and stick grenade chucked in!

Where is Mick anyway? First rule of WUM club. Hide when you lose.

See, now that's the scousers at their best and most humorous, funny as fuck that.

I saw fans going at each other at half time but didn't see any punches thrown or connect, not by the time I noticed the commotion anyway. I came out the stairwell and wasn't expecting to see any stand offs as most of their fans had already left as I was going down the stairs, anyway, as I get out a few Scouse tried to run at us which was met immediately by a larger surge of Mags who weren't going to let these daft fuckers think they can come up here and throw their weight around. The Police were on the ball and nowt else happened that I saw and most, (including myself), went on their way for a pint. Had a pint pre-game with a few older scouse lads who were decent enough and when we offered to show them a short cut they got very windy, tried to go the other way and one of them asked one of our lot if we were going to jump them! Fuck me! I said we aren't like cockneys befriending you only to lure you round the corner for a twatting, maybe I should have added scousers to cockneys. p.s. Maybe toughguymick was in amongst their lot, would explain the testoserone and shit humour.

Those who already have tickets go to the game and support the lads plus give the cunt dogs abuse, I'm telling you now, man, they fucking hated it when we were on the telly and all you could hear was the Mags giving him shit, his pet monkey even pleaded with fans to stop it. When your ticket runs out, DO NOT RENEW!!! Even if you intend to still go to the odd game next year, DO NOT RENEW. Honestly, it's the only way. I certainly will not be outside the ground for SKY's benefit as I can go in the ground and get my message across loud and clear perfectly well before giving him the ultimate message come renewal time.

Davey, does your surname begin with G? No, but it rhymes with G! Nice sig... oaa. ???? Since I've done these MB's, (2006 when I got a computer!), I've always went under the moniker, Howmanheyman, there was a lad called One Arm Aloft on one the boards but I aint him, mate. No, but I am. Wondered when I'd bump into you, One Arm. How's it going?

As pissed off as I am, that's mental.

Nice sig... oaa. ???? Since I've done these MB's, (2006 when I got a computer!), I've always went under the moniker, Howmanheyman, there was a lad called One Arm Aloft on one the boards but I aint him, mate.

My resignation letter to the bastard who owns our club; Dear 'Mr Newcastle', You have my money for this season, not through any faith in your abilities to run the club I support to my general satisfaction and certainly not through any evidence of brilliance from your time as the owner. No, you have my money as I believe in supporting my team and because I like the craic of a matchday. You won't get my money for next season, however, as you have made it crystal clear that you 'is da boss' and you can do the fuck whatever you like with this football club because you own it and it's yours. Ok. You win, I was here before you came and I'll be here when you eventually do a shoot, I once went into a self imposed SJP exile for far, far less shit than anything you've created and at a far higher cost but as I'm a bit older now I thought I could keep going giving you nothing more than my entrance fee which I like to think went solely to NUFC. However, as you are Mr Newcastle who calls the shots whether we like it or not, then I will do the only thing I can and withold my cash from you and as of next year, will not have to look at that fucking eyesore on top of the Gallowgate end from my perch up in the Leazes corner. I will, however go till the end of the season as I've already paid you upfront, More fool me, and will endeavour to rain pure fucking scorn on you and your Casino managing mate, (who really does think he's a cross between Robert Di Nero and Joe Pesce in that Scorsese 'Casino' film rather than a southern version of the fat entertainment lad from 'Phoenix nights' which he more closely resembles). I hold you and your mate in the contempt that you plainly hold us in. Davey.