Matty

"By chance, I was walking through the maze of rival packs of fans when the England team bus reversed into its garage in the bowels of the Gabba. Alastair Cook was white with nerves, and there weren't any smiles or waves. Freddie was the only relaxed member of the team, standing at the front chatting away. In the ground, I can see about 10 St George Cross flags already. As is tradition, the names of local towns are inscribed in black ink. Freddie's Preston mob are here in force, there's some Durham support and more from Weymouth on the south coast." Oliver Brett, BBC Sport in Brisbane

Howay Harmison! Bouncy and fast pitch... take their heads off Stevie!

She obviously just enjoys the thrill of cheating on her boyfriend... Ask her how she would feel if he was doing the same to her... if you want the thing between you to stop.... If you don't.. then don't say anything... and get on with it.

Hot Club de Paris - Who Am I

See True Faith

Nice coat too, nob head.

I won £6.70. Get in.

Lazy work shy type, ruining the NHS I tells ya! Half a chance!! I love my job, but anyone who works in my place who says they'd still come to work after winning the lottery is a bit, fat liar! I'd be outta there. I really wouldn't blame you. It's one of the jobs that I really couldn't get paid enough to do, and I admire those that can.

Lazy work shy type, ruining the NHS I tells ya!

I'll buy it off ya for £119m.

Just thought I would remind everyone.... So if one of you puts it on and win now, I want some sort of thank you!

Mylene Klass is a hotty though.

Can't stand him tbh. Don't like him even more after he slagged off Little Man Tate! Big no no you pompus twat!

Genius!

What's the advantages to this compared to IE?

A night in tonight after a very messy night last night! Still not fully recovered... but I'll be alreet! Off to the match tomorrow afternoon, early-ish train from sunny Preston to Manc-land... annnnnd for some really strange reason I am confident of a result....must be due to the alcohol in my system!

How fuckin' annoying, talentless, cringe-worthy, is that toss pot?!

'A man is recovering in hospital from serious internal injures after launching a firework from his backside. The 22-year-old suffered a scorched colon and other injuries in the incident in Sunderland, Tyne and Wear. A spokeswoman for the North East Ambulance Service said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding. A spokesman for the Firework Association, said he had never heard of an incident like it in 45 years' - The Press Association.

Well done Scotty, said what needed to be said, lets move on.

Bad timing I guess... All in the heat of the moment... it happens... it's over.

I hope not too.

Was thinking about going there in early January with my girlfriend... Anyone ever been.... if so what did you think, etc? Cheers!

We just need someone taking a dump and we've got the full house. I'd be sick with some big black man bumming me tbh.