Mac-Toon

If someone bumps into you in a crowded bar, apologies circulate and everyone moves on not caring. Then the same bloke spills your beer all over the floor and you're starting to think this kid's a bit of an arsehole. But, willing to forgive and forget. Then he comes over and smashes you over the melt with a bottle of WKD and you then realise he is a complete bastard and shouldn't be trusted or given any time to right his wrongs. Ashley and his bastardised product has done this to me.

More Mystic Keg predictions for a second day running. Fucking magic last night it was, if that's the straw that broke the Israelian Camels back, all the better. We were doing impression of him last night accentuating double chins at the game and speaking in boring voices. I'm astounded the two 'Porn Kings' havn't got rid of him yet and got Fat Sam in. I'm going to have a little wager on him to be their next boss. They were absolutely pony last night. I think Woy's inherited a shite squad from Rafa and they've never fancied playing for him. Kyriakos is the worst centre half in the league for me and Dirk Kuyt's lived a far too charmed existance at Liverpool. He's about the standard for a Birmingham team. If Glen Johnson's a defender then I'm Mike Ashleys biggest fan, he's dump. Shouldn't play for England, imo.

More Mystic Keg predictions for a second day running. Fucking magic last night it was, if that's the straw that broke the Israelian Camels back, all the better.

All he's muttered for the past month is 'a bad moment'. He doesn't seem like he's fighting very hard. Why they ever let Mourinho leave I'll never naa.

Never believe a word. Never give them an inch. Never forgive and never forget. The man I hold the most hatred towards in my career. Any success we may have won't be Because of him, it'll be inspite of him.

I'd love to know how much the Spanish watch of Jose. He's a far better left back than Crapdivila, who's knocking on abit. I've nee doubt he could slide into that spanish team and look comfortable. Strong, fast, clever and best of all, he's wors. Cult hero if ever there was one. Can't speak highly enough of him. All the lads done excellent tonight. Thought Barton and Tiote were first class again. We have actually got some really good footballers, as much as it may pain some to admit.

Just en route hyem sat on the bus still buzzing after that. Owa the moon for Best getting and taking his chance tonight. I might even get my hair cut like his 'la bowl'. I don't think it's Pardew in particular, from what I've heard and read he's a good lad and a proper grafter. I think the term 'a man's man' was bandied about. Hopefully he'll make a player. Not getting too excited, same as I never get too despondant when we lose. Jose's fuckin' class. Even though Best grabbed the headlines, Joses still the one who catches my eye week in week out. Get in.

You need happy a medium though. I find skinny as fuck flat chested women as repulsive as morbidly obese. I don't mean stick thin. I'm more referring to your typical mackem lass 'Massive belly with tiny tits'. Looks awful, imo. I'm happy with a swimmers physique. Not skinny, not fat, just toned and healthy. That's a right con in my book. Vile, tbh. Anyway, what am I talking about. I've been with my lass for years. Had first bairn at 20 and havn't fired into anything for a long time. Still have a little peruse now and again though If you did I bet you'd have the jesters feet after about 5 seconds. Up and over like a pan of milk. No disrespect to your lass, obviously. I'd not even get me Y'ers off to be honest. Erupt like Vesuvious.

You need happy a medium though. I find skinny as fuck flat chested women as repulsive as morbidly obese. I don't mean stick thin. I'm more referring to your typical mackem lass 'Massive belly with tiny tits'. Looks awful, imo. I'm happy with a swimmers physique. Not skinny, not fat, just toned and healthy. That's a right con in my book. Vile, tbh. Anyway, what am I talking about. I've been with my lass for years. Had first bairn at 20 and havn't fired into anything for a long time. Still have a little peruse now and again though

You need happy a medium though. I find skinny as fuck flat chested women as repulsive as morbidly obese. I don't mean stick thin. I'm more referring to your typical mackem lass 'Massive belly with tiny tits'. Looks awful, imo. I'm happy with a swimmers physique. Not skinny, not fat, just toned and healthy. You like a big muscular back? Balls to that like. Aye, just like Andre the Giants, tbf. Ye naa what I mean, not fat, not skinny, just right. I'm defo a face man though. Then check out the frame.

You need happy a medium though. I find skinny as fuck flat chested women as repulsive as morbidly obese. I don't mean stick thin. I'm more referring to your typical mackem lass 'Massive belly with tiny tits'. Looks awful, imo. I'm happy with a swimmers physique. Not skinny, not fat, just toned and healthy.

I put Face as my preferance. Nee big girls for me though, fuck all that 'more cushion for the pushin' shite, got to have a decent chassis on them or I don't want to know.

I watched 'The Human Centipede' last week. Absolutely fucking horrific. Very worst of films but a must see just for the sheer brutality of it.

Human Traffic. Moff was my rolemodel. Brassed off.

A redcoat who nests an underage holiday goer. I'm astounded you've actually watched it, in its entirity.

1. Snatch Great line up of characters. Great script. Funny humour from Bricktop. 'Feed 'em to the pigs Errol'. Brad Pitt was the perfect man to play 'The pikey'. 'Good dags, good family' 2. Batman. The Dark Knight This is on the list for only the role Heath Ledger played as the joker. Anyone who's seen it knows he played that part brilliantly. Edge of the seat stuff. Well written. Can watch it time and time again. 3. Kes Just love it. Always have. Always will. Reminded me of my dad (the PE teacher). I love the bit when he's hanging off the cross bar in the ill fitting lost property kit.

Sure I read today that he's off to Italy on loan. Also, why would red nose let any more players come to Newcastle United after that last striker (can't remember his fuckin' name) came and never got a game - that pissed off Ferguson something rotten. I wouldn't want Keane - too old. It'll probably be something from left field er, Santa Cruz on loan?? Then again, I doubt the Citeh (best supporters in the history of football. FACT!) owners would let any of their players come here after the way the fat gambler treated them in Dubai. Guiseppe Rossi. He was decent but wasn't better than what we had.

There's defo a fruit in the cab. Sorry, CT. You always apologise for abuse. Just to CT I do. I feel abit sorry for him 'cos he get's tortured on here, day in day out. Warranted, aye. But, still ...

There's defo a fruit in the cab. Sorry, CT.

Am i right in thinking he was the only one who threw his shirt to the fans after the wigan game? Could be a sign................................................. Nar. Tiote came over to us first and threw his. I distinctly remember because my mate said 'Fuckin hell, he's black as out' then realised he had a tight breathable top on underneath his shirt. Taylor came over and gave it the two fisted pump but the rest of them just took off down the tunnell.

Bottle of Coke has gone up from 75p to 90p in my works canteen, the fuckin' robbing bastards. I queried it this morning and the duck egg on the counter just pointed to the VAT increase sign and said 'it's gone up'. I tried to explain that 15p difference is more than 2.5% on 75p, she looked blank, the thick shit. An ideal opportunity for small businesses to raise their prices. I hope everyone's questioning the prices when they are so clearly bumped up above 2.5%.

Wrong Gerry sorry. You thinking of Den Perry, Gerry? RIP btw. He's Gerry, the berry, Perry.