Mac-Toon

Good lass. Used the "pipe down" phrase on our lass last night ( after a few beers). She wasn't impressed. You shouldn't do that to your lass ffs. Pipe down is the nearest thing you can get to "fuckin shut up you total nobhead" without swearing. Hence why I say it to you a lot.

I earn about £1400 a month after tax. Pay out of that £600 on mortgage. £400 per month on food shopping. £130 Gas/Electricity. Leaving me with about £300 disposable for the month. However, it's not disposable as out of that I'll pay £20 per week on bairns dinners for school. Leaving me with about £220 for the month. That's £55 per week. About £7.90 per day. Can buy a box of tabs and that's it. I'd say I earn an alright wedge but am still relitively poor when it comes to actual Wants as apose to needs. Do you not have a missus that splits some of the bills/mortgage. You have forgot council tax by the way ! Yeah, I do. She works very few hours per week though due to her line of work being one of those which is a luxury for people and they aren't buying at the moment. I pay for every household item. She buys the bairns clothes and pays for herself. Fair? Probably not, but it works for us and I'm more concerned that she's got a little bit for herself to do 'woman things'. Hell hath no fury like a woman with nee shoes. Tbf, we have a canny house, canny motor but very can't buy new clothes every week or go out on the lash. That's turned into a rare occasion recently.

Like Xisco?

I earn about £1400 a month after tax. Pay out of that £600 on mortgage. £400 per month on food shopping. £130 Gas/Electricity. Leaving me with about £300 disposable for the month. However, it's not disposable as out of that I'll pay £20 per week on bairns dinners for school. Leaving me with about £220 for the month. That's £55 per week. About £7.90 per day. Can buy a box of tabs and that's it. I'd say I earn an alright wedge but am still relitively poor when it comes to actual Wants as apose to needs.

We played down North Shields for 4 year, we were the second in the top division on a Monday night when we chucked it about August. We're starting the team again very soon, we're a good side so if you're shit its nee good, but if you are half decent you're more than welcome to turn out for us every week. Pick you up at the church beside the Powder Monkey if ye like? Have a think about it, but if you're shite nee bother. Good set of lads though, you'll feel part of it straight away. You up for it then MacToon? As I said though if in your heart of hearts you think you're a pure dide when it comes to football no worries, but if you're decent come along. Would it still be a monday night? I've played most levels, sunday league etc. Play right back and aye, I'm decent. I'm nee Warren Barton but comfortable in general leagues. When are you's planning on starting up again? Probably a week on Monday, sounds good that mate, you can play at the back with me. I bet I've played against you loads of times, what pubs you played for and you ever played down the JJB? Few pubs in Devonshire leagues whilst at college years ago, Plough at Killy in the Cramlington Bro's league. Not played down the JJB before, by all accounts it's fuckin' roasting in there. Played up at Complete football at the racecourse last year until the lads dropped out as the games were at 10.30pm and shit. Hard graft playing 5 a side like, mate. Gets you fit though, and with our one touch passing you'll enjoy it. You'll be the youngest like. We have a 35 year old, 34, 33 (me) and 29. That's the thing about 5 a side. The best teams aren't the fast ball hungry young'uns. It's generally the older teams who know the pitch and play 1/2 touch. Wor lass works freelance like, so I'll have to check what she's got booked in for a week come monday so I can get clearance. I'll have to dust the owld kit out. What do you's play in?

They're still under a media blackout, mate. No statements will be made, apparantly.

We played down North Shields for 4 year, we were the second in the top division on a Monday night when we chucked it about August. We're starting the team again very soon, we're a good side so if you're shit its nee good, but if you are half decent you're more than welcome to turn out for us every week. Pick you up at the church beside the Powder Monkey if ye like? Have a think about it, but if you're shite nee bother. Good set of lads though, you'll feel part of it straight away. You up for it then MacToon? As I said though if in your heart of hearts you think you're a pure dide when it comes to football no worries, but if you're decent come along. Would it still be a monday night? I've played most levels, sunday league etc. Play right back and aye, I'm decent. I'm nee Warren Barton but comfortable in general leagues. When are you's planning on starting up again? Probably a week on Monday, sounds good that mate, you can play at the back with me. I bet I've played against you loads of times, what pubs you played for and you ever played down the JJB? Few pubs in Devonshire leagues whilst at college years ago, Plough at Killy in the Cramlington Bro's league. Not played down the JJB before, by all accounts it's fuckin' roasting in there. Played up at Complete football at the racecourse last year until the lads dropped out as the games were at 10.30pm and shit. Hard graft playing 5 a side like, mate.

We played down North Shields for 4 year, we were the second in the top division on a Monday night when we chucked it about August. We're starting the team again very soon, we're a good side so if you're shit its nee good, but if you are half decent you're more than welcome to turn out for us every week. Pick you up at the church beside the Powder Monkey if ye like? Have a think about it, but if you're shite nee bother. Good set of lads though, you'll feel part of it straight away. You up for it then MacToon? As I said though if in your heart of hearts you think you're a pure dide when it comes to football no worries, but if you're decent come along. Would it still be a monday night? I've played most levels, sunday league etc. Play right back and aye, I'm decent. I'm nee Warren Barton but comfortable in general leagues. When are you's planning on starting up again?

Have we seen him play his last game in black and white? I hope not. If Spurs were to offer £30m for him I've no doubt whatsoever that he'd sell and feed us the line 'too good to turn down'. I thoroughly believe Carroll is worth more than 30m to us over his career if we can keep him for good. Some may say he's only performed for half a season in the premiership and should cash in, but this kid's only going to get better. It'll be a real show of intent if he accepts.

20 Lambert and Butler have gone to £6.15 in the shop next to mine from tomorrow. That's up 16p on what they were today. Heartbreaking to be honest. Beer. Bairns toys. Games. Clothes. Irn Bru's gone up a penny at graft so that's the biggest crime in all of this.

I've been bollocked for laggin al owa' Munchies window next to haymarket a few years ago off a copper. Asked if I'd do it on my own front window. Think I told him it's unlikely cos' it's smashed. they gan abit far, it's not like everyone's walkin' about pissin' everywhere. Micey pissin' on hole in the walls though. Especially considering there's a sports direct sign directly opposite.

I may add 'The Powder Monkey' to the list of desirables. Either that or 'The Half Moon' where I lived which is knocked doon now. Stevie, you're mackem typing's fuckin' class.

I'm a young Robson Green, by all accounts. Although taller and heavier.

Never take the piss oot me ears again porky! Ya ears aren't even that noticable imo. Ya hardly Gareth Bale put it that way. It's that fucking picture everyone seems to have saved man. I blame the hat me. It's a class pic imo. One of the best we've seen on here Is there a thread with everyones pictures on? Any material?

Aren't you on about a Magarita? Grappa's brandy made with the leftovers of the wine-making process, i.e. the stems, grape skin etc. It's rocket fuel and a bit like Raki. Grappa is a killer an no mistake. It was Caipirinha I was thinking of. The spirit is Brazilian and called Cachaça. Proper girls drink but canny nice and gets you three sheets to the wind.

No wonder your so moody lately Was 13 - 8 when this thread started which was easily at least a stone overweight. Now 14 - 7 and at my age all this extra fat aint good Had a few eye of the tiger moments in the last week but they usually come late at night when the stuffing my face deed has already being done for the day. Its like that last fag at night before the day you pack in. Have also had serious trouble on the man boob front, particularly bearing in mind the arrival of a new breast feeding child. The little buggers had a few attempts when my guards being down. However tomorrow is going to be the day and Im even considering giving weight watchers another bash. We should have some sort of toontastic biggest loser comp for January. (That actually starts again next week and is a great motivator if your going through the pain yourself. reccomend it) 15 minutes fast walking? Taking passengers on the run around.

Have any of the female members posted anything like 28/32/40E? I'm 6ft 1 and a half. always add the half on. Weight fluctuates, especially since the cold has set in and I've not played footy or lifted a finger for about 2 months. Weigh normally 12.5-13 clem. Adonis, tbf.

It should be Coyle. Some of the football he's got Bolton playing is amazing to watch. Or Holloway, for his interviews alone.

Dont know much about his background but having a quick google it says he got 19 goals in 92 appearances over three years for Coventry. Serious question. Why did we buy him and why do people think he will come good. Its not as though he was on a fine streak of form???? Needless to say good luck to him if he starts and hope he gets on the score sheet. I don't think he's good enough I just thought I'd pass on what I heard as at least he isn't just getting pissed every night and not trying in training. I.e. he might not be good enough but that's not his fault whereas his attitude is right, which is all he can control really.

Looked a yard short on sunday. He's a canny unit tbf. I thought his run on sunday was quite impressive until his knee gave way and he stumbled. Still got a shot away though. I think he's probably been given an unfair press since joining and hasn't really been given a chance to stake his claim. That may be down to him not doing well on the odd occasion he gets on. Seems like Pardew's got faith in him, and some players thrive on that. I really hope he does well for us but can't see him ever being a mainstay in our 18 man squad.

scholes strike rate similar, but in terms of ability, ginger nuts every time. another one for you. franz carr. fast as the wind but no end product! Not saying Robson was the best player ever or owt but I find it strange to see him mentioned in a list of most overrated players ever. Agree 100%. England's best player of the 80's, too many injuries though. I can't remember if he's a toon fan or a mackem fan though. Certainly got a mackem accent, worse than most CLS accents even. The fact Amdy Faye has amassed probably £3m from playing football when there are better players on this board, suggest to me he truly is the most overrated player in history. Of players who are rated as true legends Totti stands head and shoulders above the rest imo. I forgot all about Amdy Faye. He was dog shit at every club he played for. Can't remember him ever having a half decent game for us. Totti ranks alongside Ibra and Adriano for me. Ali Dia was overrated but I guess he rated himself so it doesn't count

most overrated player in the modern game, without a doubt. Ray Wilkins was shite. So was Tino Asprilla. Hmm. I see what you're saying but Tino's always been lauded more for being a cult hero as apose to a world beating striker. I loved Tino from day one and still do for his affiliation with our club. I wouldn't have him anywhere near the most overrated player poll though.

I almost said Juan Sebastian Veron but in fairness he had a canny career before he went to Man Utd. Shite from the moment he touched down.

The odd dive has it in. It's a drinkers drink I think. Only had it a few times, last week being one of them, and it gives a rocking bad heed the next day.

I normally check out someone's boat before owt else. Many occasions have I been caught out by a 'BOBFOC' whilst approaching from the rear. I used to play a game with my mates in the town when we were bairns called 'Would you from here?' ... I'm sure you get what I mean. Edit - I mean, neither. I'm happily married.