Meenzer

If there was a magic bullet that worked for everyone then I suppose no one would have a drinking problem in the first place. And it's not like what I've done has been flawlessly successful - I lapsed several times in my first year, and I had a few more wobbles during the worst of the Covid lockdowns too. But I think it's really important not to see that as a "back to square one" failure like AA would have you believe. For me the main thing is the intent. If you come to the conclusion that you really do want to (and need to) stop drinking, and you start taking steps to achieving that, it's completely fine to fuck up along the way as long as you're moving in the right direction overall. Think of it as training for a marathon. You wouldn't expect every training run to be better than the last one - you'll have days where it doesn't go like you want it to, you'll have injuries and niggles and setbacks and days when you can't be arsed, all of that. The main thing is the broader picture. That's why I see December 2013 as "when I stopped drinking", even if I haven't abstained completely ever since - it's the moment when it clicked with me, even if it took a while to unlearn some pretty unhealthy behaviours and get the right tools in place. Absolutely no one can do that from one day to the next, and if they say they can, they're a liar (or they're setting themselves up for a massive relapse one day). So I think you do need to internalise what you said there - "the negatives now greatly outweigh the positives" - and keep hammering that home until it begins to stick. "Never drinking again" does feel like a big imposition when you frame it like that, but "never feeling like absolute shit after drinking again" is a pretty good incentive if you can flip it round that way instead. For what it's worth, I went to in-person meetings with a group called SMART Recovery for about nine months in 2014-15 (and then again online for a few months after my lockdown wobble). I found them really useful, and I don't think they're necessarily just for people who have a more "conventional" addiction (i.e. using every day or whatever). They deal in science-based approaches, digging into why we do what we do and challenging the thinking that leads you to engage in addictive behaviours. A lot of it is CBT-adjacent, cost-benefit analyses, that kind of thing - the stuff your logical brain knows really but that you're liable to throw out of the window when you're feeling shit and just want to get blitzed, so the more you work through it and internalise it, the more chance there is of you applying it when it comes to the crunch. I don't know if there's anything like that around your way, but I'd definitely recommend an evidence-/science-based approach over AA, which I tried for one meeting and found to be absolutely depressing - all that "I realised I was powerless in the face of my addiction" stuff - bollocks. The choice to drink is just that, it's a choice you make, so you can also choose not to. The point is not to surrender yourself to your feelings, but to work out what it is you're feeling and what you're telling yourself that gives you the "permission" to make that choice in the first place against your better judgement - and, consequently, how to make different decisions in the moment. (Absolutely no shade meant on AA, it works well for a lot of people, I just think you're probably like me in the way your brain approaches these things and I imagine you'd benefit from something more rational.) In practical terms, cravings are definitely a right bugger, and for all they've lessened greatly for me over time, they still kick in in my weaker moments. There's nothing that definitely always works for me - it's a bit different every time. Sometimes a non-alcoholic drink scratches the itch enough (including in a pub environment, if you feel confident to do so without hitting a real drink - sometimes "low-stakes social contact" is actually the itch that needs scratching), sometimes pigging out on unhealthy food does the trick (not exactly a long-term option, but practically speaking it's a far lesser evil in the moment), or sometimes you just need to distract yourself or exercise or just get out of the house and have a change of scene until you can ride it out. Weirdly I found myself eating loads of Haribo after I first stopped, without asking myself why - turns out the body craves the sugar as much as the actual effect of the alcohol, so that's quite a common side-effect of stopping drinking. Tangfastics instead of Tanqueray. Who knew? I realise the above is all a bit stream-of-consciousness and I'm not sure any of it will be actively useful, but there's some jumping-off points there at least. Feel free to PM me any time if you want to, obviously, though if you're happy keeping the discussion here then it might help others too, you never know!

I are. Expect a WhatsApp

I need to get back to the big smerk on the Sunday already so I'm leaving that for next time, but the mate who's coming on the trip with me has booked himself an extra couple of nights in Porthmadog to explore the coast after I leave, the cheeky cunt. I'll be passing on your ideas. Through gritted teeth.

It's MS Paint time!

In all seriousness, if this does happen in some form, I'll try and time a visit to the parentals to coincide. We'll probably need Cath to play Mam and actually get us organised though, for old times' sake.....

One for the xG aficionados among you: BBC News - VHS tapes sent to the South Pacific - how football's data boom began https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/61084931

Live footage from the Fist household

A superiority complex that defies logic?

I agree that the countryside needs much better public transport.

Further confirms my viewpoint that cars wreck everywhere that's nice. Mind, I'm just back from a day of hiking around NW Kent countryside that would be lovely if it wasn't for the constant drone of a motorway somewhere in the middle distance, so I may be biased.

Can she at least wait until after the days we're already getting off on her account? 🤞

but also

Comedy Dave Chegwin

And you didn't even start with Dead-y. Saw the news the other day that he was critical and it didn't sound promising at all. RIP. Loved that early 90s Colombia side (like everyone did, I imagine!)

That'd be a yes and a yes.

Howay, that's about the standard of one of my Steve Wraith/MS Paint jobs

Now I'm worried.

Mendacious lickspittle cunt in "being mendacious lickspittle cunt" shocker

Bring back zzub

I take it back, the Scouse Tories held out until 1998, la. Chalk one up for the good liberal-leaning folk of Gosforth 💪

Honestly, I was considering making an argument for some of their beaches (they're genuinely nice!) but I wouldn't want to impinge on the majesty of this post

Nor have we since 1996, but I think they got there sooner (late 80s perhaps?) so aye, fair play