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PROJEKT VIER!

Crispy noodles? Are you sure they weren't just... crisps?

"clubs agree prompt strategy review involving all 20 clubs not just 2"

Fuck's sake

They liked him, they loved him, they regarded him as one of the people. He was the People's Taker of the Fulwell and that is how he will stay, how he will remain in our hearts and our memories for ever.

Rumour has it the tier 3 restrictions requiring pubs to close won't apply to pubs that serve food.

Both of which are good career moves. It all fits.

Musician? You'll have been forcibly retrained in "cyber" by then.

One shall inform the cockneys of Stoke D'Abernon forthwith.

Identity pLOLitics, amirite

VOTE!

It's also the option Farage used to champion, even if he denies that now, so that's something to point at if you're trying to get those voters on side.

FYP

And especially Nena.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO USE A TROWEL????

Plus a huge opportunity to illustrate to the sceptical half of the public how Taking Back Control might have its benefits after all. Weird that they didn't want to, really.

First poppy advert of the season on the telly tonight and they're equating the COVID-19 crisis to - you guessed it - war. It's going to be a long winter...

I've deleted his post in General but I think I'll keep this one because it'd be a shame to lose the reply

Brexit Twitter disagrees, naturally.

Getting a new owner the day after the transfer window closes sounds about right for us.

I'm sure any team's fans would be as grateful to have him as we're told we should be.

Trying to think what's been best out of my lockdown reads. "Another Fine Mess" by Tim Moore, in which he drives a rickety Model T Ford across the Trump-voting states, was enjoyable as usual from him - albeit a bit less laugh-out-loud funny, probably because the subject matter is so profoundly depressing. Chris Brookmyre's latest, "Fallen Angel", was exactly the kind of intelligent but not too challenging thriller I needed over the summer, definitely worth a read (plus it's often 99p on Kindle ). Also been belatedly working my way through Iain M. Banks - I found "Use Of Weapons" surprisingly uplifting for something outright nihilistic in places. Tried to get stuck into some weightier stuff too - "The End of Days" by Jenny Erpenbeck was dark but really good; the joint Booker winner "Girl, Woman, Other" was good too although it didn't blow me away like it seems to have other people. Also read Martin Hardy's "Tunnel Of Love" but that was a disappointment compared with "Touching Distance" - there's a shoddy feel to the writing/proofreading, and I suppose the topic and narrative was always going to be a bit more disjointed than the arc of the Keegan years.

That's Ashleynomics, baby!