Meenzer

@TheBig_Sam Just found a tin of Roses I'd forgotten about over Christmas. Orange creams, right down my gullet like a prick down a twat-pipe. Have it.

"You'd never have guessed - she had a Redknapp hanging out the front of her!"

Besides, my better half is much better.

Oi, the other lot were definitely a lad and a lass. Well I think so anyway. It wasn't Thailand, as I say.

You lot are generally more sociable anyway aren't you? What, northerners? Unquestionably.

Going on holiday because you want to spend time with your partner is perfectly normal, obviously. And going on holiday specifically to make friends is all a bit Thailand. On the other hand, one of the things I like doing with my better half is socialising, so if we came across people we got on with then it'd seem a bit odd to put up a brick wall if things came dangerously close to being friendly or enjoyable or something. Mind, last time we were away in the sun it was more a case of spending the odd evening with the only other young couple on a complex otherwise entirely populated by old fogeys, if only for a blessed change of conversational pace from the same pleasantries around the swimming pool every day. Karaoke and pub quizzes ensued. I'm not proud.

£20 on Nikki Kavanagh to beat Jedward in the Irish Eurovision final @ 3/1.

I'd already donated anyway, but just found out I've got in via the general ballot. Third time lucky!

blyme. Always been my favourite airline

You're 50% right.

Certainly good preparation for a season's worth of your contributions to this thread.

Gil Scott-Heron - I'm New Here

Shefki Kuqi is the meaning of life? By the summer it'll be "so long and thanks for all the pish".

We've got Shefki Kuqi He's not from Yamaguchi He's from Kosovska Mitrovica ....oh bollocks

He's decent in the air. Or he was. It's not like American Football where we can just wheel him on for a set-piece though. If only we could combine Kuqi's heading ability with Best's ground play, we'd have a crap striker.

NUFC's commercial department shrewdly targeting the extensive Kosovar-Albanian-Finnish market.

Kunt And The Gang - Shannon Matthews: The Musical

Well, blyme.

Or eat the Kindle before leaving the house (BECAUSE YOU ARE FAT AND THAT WOULD PROVIDE THE REQUISITE PADDING)

I have no doubt he will

Half day tomorrow and then I'm off till Monday. Plus I've got the house to myself from Friday morning to Sunday night. Inebriated inaction beckons.

Aye. The bread is better, the meat is better and the sauces are better. We'll call it a no-score draw on the salad front.