Meenzer

Go to the pound shop there have loads in various colours How much are they like? £1,000 - £1,500

Euphemism? Nope. Fisted the waiter afterwards though.

I recently had a marvellous cream tea at the Queens Hotel in Leeds.

Never heard of DJ Bobo then? Vampires are alive!

About minus two years, I'd say... I heard that in a very bitchy voice Martin. Let me guess, and the voices in your head replaced the "I'd say" with "girl-FRIEND"?

Good lord, a competent Swiss band. Wonders never cease...

About minus two years, I'd say...

FYP When he loses, he's scottish. a twat. When he wins, he's British. still a twat. FYP Good on him though. Getting to the US Open final never quite helped Rusedski make it to the highest level, but you get the feeling this could be a real kickstart for the next stage of Murray's career.

Steve Ryder on the highlights just now man. I can only assume he's gone black and never wants to go back.

Bumped into him at the Cocksmokers' Arms last night. He spilled my pina colada so he apologised by buying me my own microbrewery. Truly a fine example to the human race.

He kind of did get an advantage though. He let Raikonnen back through but was very much in his slipstream and poised to re-overtake right away. That area of F1 law is far too open to interpretation mind.

Spa + rain = always genius. Hamilton a bit lucky I suppose, but Raikkonen really can't hack it when the conditions get slippery. Very much Scary Evil Dad's Son's title to lose now.

Meenz me man what you on? The joy of life.

MGHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH QUINNNNNN MMMNNNNNGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And even nine months on, this poll is still gayer than Dale Winton.

If only we had a manager to stand up for him.

Well aye, anyone who's daft enough to pay full whack for a "pint" of vaguely alcoholic SJP pisswater has been kidding themselves for the past 10 years anyway.

OMG JON ARNE RIISE IS NEW TOON BOSS

I'm black too. and? He's white he talks a load of........ Why did he say he's black then? Wouldn't have been his fault if he was. Because he's not as skilled at satirising your many faults as the rest of us. Poor wee lamb. oh dear Yep, I feel sorry for him too.

I'm black too. and? He's white he talks a load of........ Why did he say he's black then? Wouldn't have been his fault if he was. Because he's not as skilled at satirising your many faults as the rest of us. Poor wee lamb.

You can just see llambias and cuntwise cockney spivved with outrage "Oo the fackin 'ell das ee fink ee is " The cockney wanks need chasing out of fucking town, or are people happy with what they've done to our club and one of it's best loved legends? We could have gone on to great things with Keegan running the show, now we've got to put up with these pricks labeling Keegan as a 'Bottler' and making all the fans look like spineless whingers. That's the thing. Any other manager they could have portrayed as clueless and out-of-touch - even Robson, since Fat Freddie managed as much with his undeniably limited brain capacity - but rightly or wrongly, you just don't fuck with Keegan. That's what I suspect (and hope) is going to be their downfall in the end.

Right now I'm buying the theory that Keegan was brought in purely to get the fans on board and that AshleyCo. didn't realise what they were getting themselves into by employing arguably (?) the most important man in the club's recent history. Keegan might have expected more than mere "progress" within the first twelve months, regardless of the fundamentally conservative financial statements to that extent, but I don't think that makes his response to the situation any less understandable. He might not be a Geordie through-and-through in Stevie's Aryan-esque definition of the term, but his brain definitely functions like that of the average, rational, normal St. James'-going male, and that's what makes AshleyCo.'s misreading of the situation all the more galling. Gah. I don't know where I stand any more. I just figure that if you're going to blame Keegan, you might as well blame each and every one of us for buying into the Keegan Returns persona in the first place. We (and he) probably knew it was destined to end in tears one way or another, but that it was worth the journey all the same. The fact that it's ended an awful lot earlier than any of us hoped it would is just another lesson that we all should learn from - and probably won't.

in english pls

I bet you've had that joke stored up for ages ! Nah. It doesn't even hold water if you think about it too much. So hush please.

I've got a vision of 50,000 grown men singing happy songs while staring at a row of bloke's arses. I'm in.