catmag

I think he peaked with that thread - in more ways than one

I never believed in a million years that these words would be typed by my own fair hands, but I'd like to see Manchester United beat Chelsea's diving, cheating, sulky, egotistical arses into the middle of next week. Is there no way we can still beat the pair of them? No way at all? Are you suuuure?

Scott never told me he'd met Superman!

: 114453[/snapback] gymnast ?????? 114456[/snapback] I'm pretty flexible like 114461[/snapback] In what way 114464[/snapback] Every way People are going to be sooo disappointed with the actual real events here

A few years ago when I worked on the wards I was looking after a patient who was having serious problems going to the loo. He was a double-amputee so when he wanted a shit we used to have to help him onto a bedpan, leave him for a bit and then go back when he'd finished. Anyway, this one day he'd asked for a bedpan, so two of us went in, helped him to get onto it in bed and then left him to do what he had to do - although we weren't that convinced as he'd not opened his bowels for what seemed like weeks. Not too long after we heard him shouting "Nurse, NURSE!! QUICK!!" Fearing he'd lost his balance, toppled off the pan and hurtled head first onto the floor, we flew back behind the curtains to hear him shouting "I need another bedpan!" I swear to God - I have NEVER seen a shit like it in my life. The bedpan was full and it was completely solid like a litre tub of chocolate ice-cream. We duly provided a second bed pan which he filled and then declared "Phew - that's better!"

See what you miss when you're all starry-eyed and pathetic?!

: 114453[/snapback] gymnast ?????? 114456[/snapback] I'm pretty flexible like

Don't tell me you didn't enjoy having a feel

Ohhh to have been the nurse that answered that call!!

I'd completely forgotten about that! And you've taken my words completely out of context, you bad, bad man!!

I just do it to impress you tbh *swoon*

I swear I am about to choke laughing

I see we're going to have to keep a close eye on you at the next piss-up

They should dab the end with a bit of loo roll tbh

2 GOLD (-en shower) threads in one day. Toontastic rocks!

Brilliant My only contribution to the confessions is that I was bursting for a wee on the way home from a night out and the only suitable spot was in the middle of a built up roundabout (trees and shrubs for cover) on a very busy road in Manchester... It was in Wythenshawe like, and that sort of thing is perfectly normal behaviour

It's a jungle up there. 113957[/snapback] Plenty of blacks? 114225[/snapback] 114321[/snapback] Missing one of these I'm sure. 114350[/snapback] Aye. Sima being all non-controversial and that.

Can't say I have. Should get 10 bonus points on "I Spy While Pissing" for that one. Also, 5 points for managing to move a clip-on bog freshener more than quarter of the way round the bowl. 114352[/snapback] Noooooooo!! You lot are fucking rank!

Aye, now you've got a dishwasher

Yeeeeurgh

Awww. Did you make that specially? 114294[/snapback] Of course he did, because Gol Rocks!! 114333[/snapback] I'm gonna have to hide that from Scott tbh

Come on then lads - let's have your stories of pissing where you shouldn't have done. Mate of mine woke up in the night after being out on the piss, stumbled to the bathroom (or so he thought) only to have his mam turn the light on which woke him up properly and he realised he was watering the pot plant on the landing

It's a jungle up there. 113957[/snapback] Plenty of blacks? 114225[/snapback]