catmag

Slapton Sands? What a class name!

Newcastle/Gateshead purlease 42730[/snapback] Howay man, Al, it's not like he knows the difference.

Bloody marvellous idea

This nghtshift just got a whole lot better!

MY VITAL STATISTICS VALUE OF SHARES £1258584.32 CASH AVAILABLE £0.87 TOTAL WORTH £1258585.19 7 DAY PROFIT/LOSS 1186779.19 WEEKLY GAIN 1292.32% TODAY'S CHART POSITION 85 They're going to take my money off me soon - I can tell.

I reckon I should work on Wall St. I'm wasted in the NHS.

Morning campers! It's like a particularly bad car crash in this thread Disclaimer: Apologies to anyone who has ever been in, witnessed, read about or is aware of the term 'car-crash'..... Terms and conditions apply. Your statutory rights are not affected.........

Noooooooooo! I think a real, proper beach holiday might help though.

As I seem to have been the one person singled out to put up with all your shit, Asprilla, I've decided that I've had quite enough of this particular debate. This thread has degenerated into absolute ridiculousness. If you want to feel smug and feel like you've 'won' then go ahead - I really don't give a fuck. Can I ask that the next mod that reads this locks the thread. It was started in order to highlight further terrorist atrocities and has ended up as a one man witch-hunt against me and I'd rather it didn't continue any further. Thanks.

I have tried to be civil towards you and answer your posts in a reasonable fashion. Can you show me where I've done anything 'simultaneously' and I would appreciate it if you didn't refer to me as 'idiotic' thank you very much as it's incredibly disrespectful. You don't know me and therefore have no right to judge me or my responses to anything on here.

Jimbo, is it you that makes Alphabites? 41712[/snapback] Yes, I carve them from soild potato myself. 41967[/snapback] I want a job like that. And I've got 2 bags of them in my freezer.

I've got a couple of pink hats if you want a lend?

The Ask Jeeves search bot hot the site once, and only once, at 5.55am this morning.... Nice to see the nightwatchlady had her eyes open at that time! 42067[/snapback] I miss nothing. We'll call him Fred.

Aye, but look at how much Sven persisted with Heskey for England not so long back. Baffling.

Pack in being a martyr man before I have to book you in for a sense of humour transplant!

Go on, do it in Very Pissed stylee. It'll make the match sound more interesting

I'm not offended at all because I know that cracking a bit of a smile at a contraversial joke doesn't make me the worst person in the world! Anyway, I'm off to save some lives. I'll try to resist making sick jokes about my patients while I'm there

My dark humour isn't confined to my work :duuno: If you find all un-PC jokes offensive, then don't read the threads and don't judge others for having made them or responded to them - people are free to react how they do to things and they all have a concept where it would be inappropriate to do so. It doesn't make them the scum of the earth. Have you no friends that have ever cracked a sick joke down the pub? Are you still friends with them or did you think "that's disgusting, I don't want to be around someone like you "

Guess what, AF? You're not the only one to have friends in London, believe it or not. A friend of mine got off one of the tubes that blew up. She got off at Kings Cross and it blew up 4 minutes later. My uncle who was a pilot for United airlines at the time of 9/11 was sat on the tarmac of JFK airport waiting to take off when one of the planes ahead of him took off and flew into the Twin Towers where his daughter worked (she was at home with a sick child that day) We could go round in circles with this, and no doubt you'll drag it up again in the future, but it won't make any difference. I think this pretty much sums it up..

You called? AF - I'm not going to get into a slanging match with you cos frankly I can't be arsed. You've proved yourself to be a canny enough poster when you want to be but seem to have chosen that thread as your mission to drag up whenever you feel like it. Have you ever heard of black humour? The kind of stuff that people have used for years because in some small way it takes them away from having to think about the almost unfathomable awfulness of something that has happened, or to make sense of it. Do you really think that because I made a contribution to that thread (and didn't actually post anything that conveyed I was sat rolling around with laughter about it) that I've devoid of feelings, compassion or empathy? You've told us in recent weeks about your job and how you work from home and make music etc. Well over the last 4 nights while I've been working I've sat with the parents of a man while he died slowly after practically bleeding to death. I've cared for a woman who came to have surgery thinking she had appendicitis only to discover she had cancer on her pancreas, and looked after several people who have been anxious, upset, scared and in pain. So let's have a think about this again, shall we? Is that the kind of thing you could do if you had no feelings or appreciation for the evil in the world these days and just switched off and saw all terrible things as an excuse for hilarity. Guess what? I'm able to separate these things and I'm also at liberty to post what I like on this board. If you truly believe that I'm not entitled to post a sympathetic response to a tragedy because I previously contributed to something that you felt was unnecessary then that's fine, because in that big wide world where I work with tragedy and pain every single day, I can still sleep at night.

You know man. The spidery, searchbotty, Clive-esque thing that wanders around. Only it wasn't Clive, it must have been his brother or something.

Oh and I think 'Jeeves' is just a bit too fucking obvious before some clever shite suggests it!

So picture the scene... You're sitting there watching telly and it's one of them programmes with background music over some slow-motion screen shots (might have been X-Factor actually) and you think to yourself "Oooo, that's a really nice song, I wonder who sings it? I shall have to try and Google for it later on and then maybe purchase it for my listening pleasure!" Some time later you're pottering around with a charity variety performance thing on telly in the background, and whaddaya know, you hear the song again!! You turn round all excited only to for the song to end and hear the host saying "Ladies and gentlemen, let me hear your appreciation for the fantastic new song from.........WESTLIFE!!!!!!" Dilemma being, do you top yourself now or later, and do you ever admit it to anyone, not to mention buy it anyway?! This is all purely hypothetical, of course.

What shall we call this one?!